Taxi!!!

[pete 2,499]

Taking a look back over the last few weeks Rangers qualified for the Scottish cup final by beating St Johnstone in the semi-final. If St Johnstone had gotten through to meet Queen of the South we would have had the first ever Old farm final.

 

News coming out of Parkhead was that Artur Boruc had auditioned for the BBC West-end talent search� I�ll do anything.� He heard they were looking for the right Nancy.

Wee Gordy fancied himself as the artful dodger. And Peter Lawwell could be Fagin.

 

Artur Boruc has applied for planning permission to build a completely round house. Seemingly after the old firm game he has developed a fear of corners.

 

Jan Venegoor of Hesselink has become known as Jan Vinegar of Castlemilk. After the last two old firm Games, Assault and Vinegar would be more appropriate.

 

After the last old firm match a link has been made between the Murphy�S and the Cambells. Neither will wave at a McDonald.

 

Steven Whitteker was looking for a Brazilian name after his goal against Sporting Lisbon. He came up with Daya. It makes him Whitt daya ker.

 

Talking about Brazilians, Ronaldo has made himself one of the hottest properties in Europe. Seemingly he can keep three men busy in little room.

 

David Murray had asked the SPL to cancel Saturdays game against Dundee utd at the weekend, in the light that Zenit St Petersburg had games cancelled before the UEFA final. He was turned down. I guess the Russians had a better Advocaat.

 

A primary teacher starts a new job at a school near Parkhead and,

trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her

class that she is a Celtic Supporter. She asks her class to

raise their hands if they, too, are Celtic supporters. Everyone in

the class raises their hand except one little girl.

 

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why

didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Celtic supporter,"

she replied.

 

The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a

Celtic supporter, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Rangers supporter,

and proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears.

 

"Mary, why are you a rangers supporter?" My mum and dad were born and

raised in Govan, so my mum is a Rangers fan and my dad is a

Rangers fan, and so I'm a Rangers fan too!"

 

"Well," said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that's no

reason for you to be a Rangers supporter. You don't have to be just

like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a

prostitute, your dad was a drug addict, and your brother was a car

thief, what would you be then?"

 

"Then," Mary said, "I'd be a Celtic supporter."

 

The old ones are the best.

 

Taxi!!!!