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On the way back from Barcelona some Celtic supporters buses got caught up in a blizzard. It is the only chance they got of seeing Sno all season..

 

Fire fighters were called out to a fire at Parkhead after their annual dinner. They met a distraught Gordon Strachan screaming "The Cups! Save the cups" It is okay Mr Strachan said the chief officer, the fire hasn't reached the canteen yet.

 

Celtic Directors announced today that they would be returfing Parkhead. The new pitch will rest on a specially developed concrete foundation. They hope it will stop the team sinking any further.

 

The pitch will be covered in Bumph for all their home games. A spokesman stated the team looks good on paper but usually turns out shite.

 

Celtic players will be wearing the new Celtic lipstick when they play at Ibrox on the 29th. It is so as they can kiss the league title goodbye.

 

There are even more dubious things going on at Parkhead, going by the quote from Scott Brown in the press today. He stated� "It's been a long campaign, but there's no question of tiredness," he said. "My legs are feeling fresh and all the boys are looking good.� Well stuff sharing a communal bath with him then. Don�t drop the soap!

 

Artur Boruc is seemingly a hot tip to go to Bayern Munchen . The thought of him in his lederhosen thrashing his thighs must have Scott in a right fluster.

 

They are also bringining the new Celtic Bra on the market. After six months the support disappears and the tits drop out the cups.

Also available in the Celtic shop is the new Celtic cream. It is easy to beat and you can whip it in a cup.

 

Scott McDonald and Jan Venegoor of Hesselink had to cancel a fishing trip to Aberdeen recently. They couldn�t find the net.

Taxi!!!

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Guest bluenosewishy

Apparently David Blain is quite pissed off with Vinegar of Hasslehoff these days - mainly due to him having destroyed his record of 44 days in a box doing nothing....

 

mine's the one with the laugh up the sleeve...

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