Ryan Ferocious?

[26th of foot 6,084]

I wonder?

 

The barbarous centre back currently plying his trade at FC Spoonburners is only 22 years old. He has over one hundred senior appearances under his belt including 14 Under 21 caps. He has scored ten goals and been called up for the full international squad twice. 

 

Ryan's ferociousness may be misplaced. He is a product of his conditioning, a Dalkeith lad grows up in the thrall of the Hibees. His poor misguided Happy Hibbys do not help, they worship at the altar of Ryan's previous misbehaviour against the Gers. They reinforce the necessary behaviour by demanding more of the same; apparently, it makes one, 'as Hibs as fcuk'? You would think the more responsible Hibees would offer more moderate advice, however the likes of Irvine Welsh demand Ryan should wield a machete.

 

I think Rangers should bring sunshine on the seethe, like we did before with Craig Patterson. A good centre back begins to mature around 25-26. I advocate offering Ryan a contract when his current deal runs out. Bring him into the light, show him the path to righteousness. Convince Ryan of the nobility of savagery and leave Irvine et al to bring ballet to Hibernian masses.

[Uilleam 5,948]

An intriguing idea, but one which, perhaps, contains too many flaws for the Club to implement.

 

1. No lover of Rangers, he, or so I am told.

2. Does he have the ability to play for the Club, in the SPFL, and in Europe?

3. Does he have the temperament to handle representing a Big Club, on, and off, the park?

4. Most pertinently: do we wish to witness, should he sign, The Porteous Riots, redux, and the cobbles of Edinburgh run red with blood? I could live with that personally, perhaps, unless the player had actually signed.  Note that the original Porteous met a very violent, very gory and very nasty end at the hands of the Embra mob, which displayed a savagery that Mr Irvine Welsh could only dream of. 

 

 

For those for whom The Porteous Riots represent a lacuna in their otherwise comprehensive grasp of Scottish history, here is a quick resume from Wkipedia:

 

On 14 April 1736 three convicted smugglers, Andrew Wilson a "notorious smuggler", William Hall and George Robertson, were arrested, tried and condemned to death. Hall's sentence was commuted to exile, while Wilson and Robertson awaited their fate. A few days before the execution they made an escape attempt from the Tolbooth prison (next to St Giles Cathedral) . Wilson removed a bar from the window but became stuck in the window "being a very stout man" and blocked Robertson's escape.

Andrew Wilson and Robertson were publicly hanged in the Grassmarket on 14 April 1736. The body of Wilson was cut down by a sailor who ran forward. Captain Porteous reacted to this by grabbing a musket and firing, killing a man in the crowd behind. He ordered his guards to fire on the justifiably angry crowd and a further five were killed. In the ensuing riot the hangman, Porteous and the guards sought refuge in the City Guardhouse on the Royal Mile As the situation worsened, the Lord Provost of Edinburgh, for fear of an attempt to pull the killers out of the guardhouse, instructed Captain Porteous to call out the entire guard and to furnish them with powder and shot.

Accounts of events are confused, but what is certain is that Captain Porteous instructed his men to fire above the heads of the crowd but, in so doing, they shot and wounded people in the windows of the high tenement buildings opposite. The crowd became increasingly violent and, as panic set in, Captain Porteous ordered the guard to shoot into the mob, which led to the deaths of six people in all.

The trial and appeal

Porteous was arrested the same afternoon and charged with murder. He was tried at the High Court of Justiciary on 5 July 1736, where a majority of witnesses testified that Porteous had personally fired into the crowd on 14 April, although sixteen others said they had not seen him do so.

Feelings were running high in Edinburgh and the jury unanimously found Porteous guilty of murder. He was sentenced to death, the execution set to take place in the Grassmarket on 8 September 1736. Porteous was imprisoned in the same condemned cell in the Tolbooth as had earlier held Wilson and Robertson.

Events in Scotland alarmed the government in London, and Sir Robert Walpole attempted to influence events by asking his representative in Edinburgh to become involved. But he had miscalculated, underestimating the depth of feeling in Scotland. A formal appeal was petitioned and the execution was deferred.

Death of Porteous

Public resentment at a reprieve granted by Queen Caroline was such that a plot to lynch Captain Porteous was hatched, and when the authorities heard of this it was decided to increase the guard at the Tolbooth prison. However, on the evening before this was due to happen, a large crowd of over four thousand gathered at Portsburgh, west of the city.

Making their way across the Grassmarket to the Cowgate and up to the High Street, the mob converged on the Tolbooth, where they were eventually able to overpower the guards. Porteous was dragged from his cell up the Lawnmarket to the West Bow and down to the Grassmarket, where he was lynched from a dyer's pole, using a rope taken from a local draper's shop.

After a short while he was dragged down and stripped of his nightgown and shirt, which was then wrapped around his head before he was hauled up again. However, the mob had not tied his hands and, as he struggled free, they broke his arm and shoulder, while another attempted to set light to his naked foot. He was taken down a further time and cruelly beaten before being hung up again, and died a short while later, just before midnight on 7 September 1736. He was buried in Greyfriars Kirkyard, Edinburgh, the following day.

 

 

Note:  The Porteous Riots figure in Scott's novel The Heart of Midlothian, so clearly Porteous wisnae a Hibby, and his brutal end is, thus, more easily understood. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 13, 2021 by Uilleam