Hollicom advise the SQA.

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John Swinney had been Scots Chancellor for almost a decade, his Budgets mostly denuded the Education Department of sufficient funds, it's where he found savings for political vanity. When Nicola became First Minister, it was perceived as a Karma thing, Swinney being transferred from Finance to Education. His consistent trimming of the Education budget had created a situation whereby almost 50% of Scots pupils aged ten years were deemed to be both innumerate and illiterate(by Scots Government testing); he created the situation, he should sort it out.

 

The recent crisis reference Highers being awarded by the SQA, has proven John Swinney to be a Grade A(Prelim award) Daftie. Appeals are manifesting like confetti, u-turns occur in dizzy continuity, and the vote of no confidence would be deemed an appropriate ending of ongoing misery, if Nicola would allow Swinney to slip away. He could join Derek MacKay in a Brigadoon care home.

 

Step forward Hollicom, an organisation most adept in dealing with situations where logic does NOT apply. Hollicom has steadfastly provided the defence for Neil Doncaster, Shifty McGifty, and Rod ra Fraud, ensuring the triumphalist triumvirate continue to denude Scottish football of circa £800,000 per annum. Hollicom's solution to the exam crisis is to advise the SQA in setting a question that defies logic and determines the result of every appeal. It's what used to be named as a 'Problem'.

 

Those submitting an appeal are to be asked the following : 

 

Eight Aberdeen players flagrantly breach Covid 19 regulations. Further, a Sellik player travels to Spain, returns and does not disclose his trip to avoid quarantine. Thus Bolingoli is declared eligible to play. What happens next?

 

a. The Compliance Officer, Clare White cites Alfredo Morelos and offers a two match suspension.

b. Nicola attends Leigh Griffiths' girlfriend's next birthday party in Bothwell.

c. Heart of Midlothian are ordered to stop training.

d. BBC Scotland's Chris McLaughlin walks barefoot to Thorntonhall to blow Peter's cheese.

 

Candidates are reminded no extra marks are awarded for showing workings.

 

 

 

 

Gersnetters are reminded, this is NOT a satirical piss-take.