Pacific Quay Musings?

[Scott7 6,018]

Unexpectedly on the move this afternoon, my only access to a score was by sportsound and even that intermittently. Thank God because I couldn’t have tholed ninety minutes.
 

It was angry. Very, very angry. An angry Paul Mitchell was commentator with an angry John Robertson and some other angry bloke. Rangers were 0-2 up when I joined and they weren’t much interested in describing the play. Instead I quickly learned from Mitchell that Rangers had lost their first away match of the season at Tannadice, relevant to today’s proceedings I know not how. Next, the intriguing statistic that up to today, Hearts hadn’t conceded a first half goal at home all season, a record only matched by celtic. At that point I had to attend to other matters so I don’t know what further gems of non-information were ofered

 

I next joined at halftime into an excited debate among the commentary team about whether Rangers’ first goal was offside or if there had been some other infringement. The matter was settled more in sorrow than in anger by Richard Gordon in the studio telling them that pictures revealed the goal was legal. Suddenly, like Dracula rising from his coffin, an even angrier Tom Gibberish intervened to say that Rangers had been very good for about four minutes but before and after, Hearts had been the better team. Somebody must have drawn up the studio blinds because that angry creature vanished as suddenly as he had appeared but he’d thrown a comfort bone to the commentary chaps who picked it up and started gnawing at it confident that Hearts would get the next goal and it would be a different game.

 

Luckily, I had to tune out for the rest of the programme. Force majeure aside, I would have switched off anyway. It’s many years old since I listened to that programme. Mitchell used to be not too bad. How @26th of footcopes with this sort of stuff, I do not know. Must be down to good Covenanting stock and the rigours of the Parachute Regiment. Double armour that I do not possess.

[compo 7,055]

I turned it on when I went to make some  coffee and Tom  Oirish made a strange statement saying that the Hearts goalkeeper never had a save to make 

[RANGERRAB 3,680]

Don’t know how anyone can listen to BBC Scotland sportsound. Blatant anti-Rangers  bias.

26th of foot must be a glutton for punishment 

Edited December 12, 2021 by RANGERRAB

[Gonzo79 15,294]

The yahoo obsession with stats is amusing.

 

I'll take three points over all the other stuff, every time.  

[the gunslinger 3,366]

11 hours ago, compo said:

I turned it on when I went to make some  coffee and Tom  Oirish made a strange statement saying that the Hearts goalkeeper never had a save to make 

He was their best player by miles. 

[compo 7,055]

First time in a few years I put it on yesterday and found it quite amusing in a pathetic sort of way 

[26th of foot 6,084]

Return of the Ginja Ninja.

 

Recently, Michael has been lamenting his lack of opportunity to spit venom. He has taken to his Twitter account to inform his followers that, "BBC Scotland have not invited me on". These are trying times, Michael has so much hatred to vent and Hunnery is such a big target. RAB Cosgrove has been filling the vacuum, "Gerrard's left before Rangers next Administration", "Rangers are reclaiming history again" and, "that will be Neil McCann no talking to the BBC now". All in the last three weeks, RAB is as reliable as a Hammond organ refrain, filling the middle register. Still, his team have fell to the bottom of the table but it's his Rangers hatred he needs to keep warm.

 

Neil McCann stymied RAB by appearing on Sportscene the very next night but, we had to wait a further week for the Caped Wonder to fidget on the Sportscene settee. His demand for truth, justice and, the Pacific Quay way was laid bare last Sunday. Rangers had successfully navigated the Rhone savage, leaving Lyon with a credible 1-1 draw to be confronted by the waiting, rested Jambos at Tynecastle. The Pacific Quay way was loaded, again! Paul Mitchell(a Jambo) was commentating, John Robertson(a Jambo) was adding colour and, Michael(Foundation of Hearts member) was waiting on the Sportscene studio couch, prepared to wield the trusty sword of fcukwittery.

 

On Sportsound, Paul and John had a conversation on Alfredo's goal being offside, Big Dick and Tom Anguish dismissed this notion at half-time. There was agreement on Aribo's goal being sublime and Tom brought comfort, "Hearts started better, Rangers played for four minutes but if Hearts grab the next goal"? The game ended 0-2 and Tom remained fixated on four minutes. Big Dick wanted to know Robbie Neilson's reaction to being denied a stonewaller? They settled on a consensus, an entertaining game but the Referee lost control. We were reminded of the highlights being available later on that evening where the Ginja Ninja would redefine losing control.

 

On Sportscene, Paul Mitchell's commentary was touched up and Robbo's colour removed. I suspect a semblance of balance was required before broadcast? Richard Foster sat beside the Ginja Ninja as the maroon broadsword was unveiled. The first thrust set the tone, "look, there's no doubt about it, Rangers rode their luck, all the big moments went their way". There was no need to parry and the second swipe carried injustice, "It's about fine margins, such fine margins. It was a frustrating afternoon for Hearts; ah mean ah don't like it but it was a penalty to Hearts". Confidence gained and the cleaving blow ensued, "Nick Walsh lost the plot, flashing yellow cards all over, particularly at Hearts players". Steven Thompson and Richard Foster thought Rangers were deserving of their victory.

 

We move on to last night and Jane Lewis was hosting Sportsound. Adding colour to the Dingwall commentary was both Pat Bonner and Billy Dodds. Richard Foster was sat upon the PQ Naughty Step. On Sunday, Dodds had been subjected to a RAB tirade. Billy had complained about Morton's provision of Porta-Cabin facilities for his Inverness team stating, "they're manky". RAB was convinced Billy would know 'manky', he is a recipient of an EBT. It makes no difference that Dodds took to Scotland on Sunday some ten years past to declare, "I no longer consider myself a Rangers supporter", he just doesn't have the necessary purity for RAB.

 

Anyways, it's half-time and we are told Rangers are winning one nil, Morelos the scorer. We then receive a couple of minutes of Sellik commentary, followed by a full time match report of Hearts - Hibs SWPL fixture, then back to Dingwall for more angst on injury ravaged Sellik. Full time, it's more of the same, two - nil Rangers, Kent adding to the scoring. That was the end of it, the next forty minutes until the end of the broadcast was ten man Sellik's determination to win, scoring the winner in the seventh minute of six added minutes. The key word was, "exuberance", the Green Brigade invaded the pitch to, "celebrate". Big Ange, he of AngeBall was interviewed and his first word on the end of match scenes was, "exuberance". Jane and Pat further utilised the word several times. Pacific Quay was exuberant in their liberal usage of 'exuberance'.

 

I was surprised at Ross County boss, Malky McKay being allowed to broadcast live, "it seemed the Referee was going to allow play to continue until they scored". There was no exuberance at such a remark, it was repeated as often as the Rangers result. The remark that defined the PQ weekend was made(scripted) by Cat Harvey, guest on Off the Ball. There was a discussion about the necessary etiquette of constant Christmas online deliveries and Cat said, "I always bung the delivery driver an Alfredo". RAB guffawed, ah mean laughing at your own scripted jokes? Such was the exuberance, it was repeated, "ah always bung the delivery driver a wee Fredo" to another guffaw.

 

We know RAB is a PhD in Theatre and Media, but may I suggest the joke would work better if you study Japanese theatre ie Kabuki. The classical diving character is entitled, 'Kyogo' - a right wee cnut of a Furuhashi. 

[compo 7,055]

47 minutes ago, 26th of foot said:

Return of the Ginja Ninja.

 

Recently, Michael has been lamenting his lack of opportunity to spit venom. He has taken to his Twitter account to inform his followers that, "BBC Scotland have not invited me on". These are trying times, Michael has so much hatred to vent and Hunnery is such a big target. RAB Cosgrove has been filling the vacuum, "Gerrard's left before Rangers next Administration", "Rangers are reclaiming history again" and, "that will be Neil McCann no talking to the BBC now". All in the last three weeks, RAB is as reliable as a Hammond organ refrain, filling the middle register. Still, his team have fell to the bottom of the table but it's his Rangers hatred he needs to keep warm.

 

Neil McCann stymied RAB by appearing on Sportscene the very next night but, we had to wait a further week for the Caped Wonder to fidget on the Sportscene settee. His demand for truth, justice and, the Pacific Quay way was laid bare last Sunday. Rangers had successfully navigated the Rhone savage, leaving Lyon with a credible 1-1 draw to be confronted by the waiting, rested Jambos at Tynecastle. The Pacific Quay way was loaded, again! Paul Mitchell(a Jambo) was commentating, John Robertson(a Jambo) was adding colour and, Michael(Foundation of Hearts member) was waiting on the Sportscene studio couch, prepared to wield the trusty sword of fcukwittery.

 

On Sportsound, Paul and John had a conversation on Alfredo's goal being offside, Big Dick and Tom Anguish dismissed this notion at half-time. There was agreement on Aribo's goal being sublime and Tom brought comfort, "Hearts started better, Rangers played for four minutes but if Hearts grab the next goal"? The game ended 0-2 and Tom remained fixated on four minutes. Big Dick wanted to know Robbie Neilson's reaction to being denied a stonewaller? They settled on a consensus, an entertaining game but the Referee lost control. We were reminded of the highlights being available later on that evening where the Ginja Ninja would redefine losing control.

 

On Sportscene, Paul Mitchell's commentary was touched up and Robbo's colour removed. I suspect a semblance of balance was required before broadcast? Richard Foster sat beside the Ginja Ninja as the maroon broadsword was unveiled. The first thrust set the tone, "look, there's no doubt about it, Rangers rode their luck, all the big moments went their way". There was no need to parry and the second swipe carried injustice, "It's about fine margins, such fine margins. It was a frustrating afternoon for Hearts; ah mean ah don't like it but it was a penalty to Hearts". Confidence gained and the cleaving blow ensued, "Nick Walsh lost the plot, flashing yellow cards all over, particularly at Hearts players". Steven Thompson and Richard Foster thought Rangers were deserving of their victory.

 

We move on to last night and Jane Lewis was hosting Sportsound. Adding colour to the Dingwall commentary was both Pat Bonner and Billy Dodds. Richard Foster was sat upon the PQ Naughty Step. On Sunday, Dodds had been subjected to a RAB tirade. Billy had complained about Morton's provision of Porta-Cabin facilities for his Inverness team stating, "they're manky". RAB was convinced Billy would know 'manky', he is a recipient of an EBT. It makes no difference that Dodds took to Scotland on Sunday some ten years past to declare, "I no longer consider myself a Rangers supporter", he just doesn't have the necessary purity for RAB.

 

Anyways, it's half-time and we are told Rangers are winning one nil, Morelos the scorer. We then receive a couple of minutes of Sellik commentary, followed by a full time match report of Hearts - Hibs SWPL fixture, then back to Dingwall for more angst on injury ravaged Sellik. Full time, it's more of the same, two - nil Rangers, Kent adding to the scoring. That was the end of it, the next forty minutes until the end of the broadcast was ten man Sellik's determination to win, scoring the winner in the seventh minute of six added minutes. The key word was, "exuberance", the Green Brigade invaded the pitch to, "celebrate". Big Ange, he of AngeBall was interviewed and his first word on the end of match scenes was, "exuberance". Jane and Pat further utilised the word several times. Pacific Quay was exuberant in their liberal usage of 'exuberance'.

 

I was surprised at Ross County boss, Malky McKay being allowed to broadcast live, "it seemed the Referee was going to allow play to continue until they scored". There was no exuberance at such a remark, it was repeated as often as the Rangers result. The remark that defined the PQ weekend was made(scripted) by Cat Harvey, guest on Off the Ball. There was a discussion about the necessary etiquette of constant Christmas online deliveries and Cat said, "I always bung the delivery driver an Alfredo". RAB guffawed, ah mean laughing at your own scripted jokes? Such was the exuberance, it was repeated, "ah always bung the delivery driver a wee Fredo" to another guffaw.

 

We know RAB is a PhD in Theatre and Media, but may I suggest the joke would work better if you study Japanese theatre ie Kabuki. The classical diving character is entitled, 'Kyogo' - a right wee cnut of a Furuhashi. 

Oh the BBC banty it would rip the arse from your breeks 

[26th of foot 6,084]

The Establishment Club.

 

The SPFL Board aka Peter's Place Men decided upon the voting options available to the clubs in lieu of the onset of Covid variant, omicron. Neil Doncaster, Rod McKenzie and, Murdoch MacLennan provided the required analysis, the preferred options and, the get out of Jail free card(Dundee's John Nelm's spam folder) to the SPFL Board and assured Peter that ra Selllik's growing injury crisis was a most manageable problem. They were pursuing the common sense approach and were confident of the outcome.

 

Sellik have cultivated a raft of politicos these last three - four decades, at one point the two Boards running the club contained a former Vice Governor of the Bank of England and three Cabinet Ministers. The Kerrydale Soup Kitchens were serving Vichyssoise and Bouillabaisse. Pottage dripping from his chops, Billy Bunter aka Ian Blackford furthered his Humble Crofter credentials, "the proposal to bring forward the footballing winter break is a sensible proposal". John Swinney was bad cop to Blackford's PC Murdoch, "the League Cup final may have been a super spreader and I urge football supporters to refrain from attending festive season fixtures".

 

Look closely, the seemingly mixed message is the same message. The compliant Scotttish media was on message, the consensus among SPFL clubs was to utilise the winter break as a circuit breaker. Bringing it forward by a week was good sense, the only dissenting voice was as ever, Rangers. Of course, it was important last night's fixtures were completed and Boxing Day's matches be played in front of a maximum of 500 spectators at each game. Sellik could handle a Covid hamstrung St Mirren and bottom of the table St Johnstone, couldn't they? Pat Bonner explained on Sportsound, "every team will have played the same amount of games, no one will have an advantage".

 

Last night's Sportsound was hosted by Big Dick; he was joined by Wullie Miller, Pat Bonner, Michael Stewart and, Alan Preston. Mikey thought the SPLFL decision was, "the sensible approach". Preston approved, "common sense has been applied" and, Wullie was comfortable being part of the majority, "it's only Rangers that see it another way". We were not informed of the other way but found out concurrently Aberdeen Chair, Dave Cormack was e-mailing Nicola appealing for a significant rise is allowed Boxing Day attendances.

 

St Mirren Boss, Jim Goodwin was tasked with leading his lambs to ra Sellik slaughter and he was definitely off message. Strange, he had been photographed at Hampden on Sunday sitting in ra Sellik end with his son replete in green'n'grey scarf. Jim told us the SPFL had broken their own rules, bent over backwards to ensure the fixture went ahead, "I have been allowed to recall four teenagers from loan spells at Lowland League clubs but not the three more experienced loanees at League one and two clubs". He went on, "I have a bench with no Premier League experience whatsoever, there are several players in my dressing room meeting each other for the first time".

 

After the match, when Karma prevailed the atmosphere on Sportsound was best described as 'choking'. Goodwin received some deserved plaudits but mostly there was an atmosphere of every shoulder being applied but Ange could not oblige. Big Dick left it to the end, "the League table looks like this, Rangers are six points ahead. Hibs move into the top six, Aberdeen drop out and St Johnstone are anchored at the foot". Everyone agreed the SPFL took the sensible approach but we never did find out what the other way entailed?

 

As a BBC License Fee paying Rangers supporter, perhaps I can articulate :

 

The Imminent Scottish Football Shutdown.

 

Due to a new Covid strain called Omnibollocks which is unique to footballers, the SPFL look again to give into Sellik's demands and postpone all football until Sellik are happy.

Symptoms of this new strain are pulled hamstrings from over exuberant goal celebrations against lesser opponents. Apparently playing AngeBall heightens risk of infection.

Boffins claim this new strain first appeared at Sellik Park in 2008 after the club's post season tour of Japan. It may be an offshoot of Sportingintegrititus prevalent in ra Stade de Gadd at this time.

It is not believed there is any connection to SeparateEntititus which has surfaced in connection with former employees spending time at Her Majesty's pleasure.

Further, Sellik have proposed a contingency plan to the SPFL in case the league cannot be completed. Apparently, the true test of Champions is the ability to pass the ball more and it is accepted that points accrued is sectarian and anti-Irish.

If Sellik's proposals are not endorsed completely, the club will make application to play in Palestine.

 

Just saying like.

 

 

[Gonzo79 15,294]

37 minutes ago, 26th of foot said:

If Sellik's proposals are not endorsed completely, the club will make application to play in Palestine.

Heaven on Earth (double entendre fully intended).