Myths of Rangers

[Frankie 8,665]

Our happy go-lucky, main site correspondent Andy Steel asks if Rangers starting afresh was ever a realistic possibility:

 

http://www.gersnet.co.uk/index.php/latest-news/177-myths-of-rangers

 

We're all guilty of bullshit now and again. Whether it's fooling others, or deliberately deceiving ourselves, or just being a bit two faced when it suits, if you can deny this you are certainly a better man than I.

 

This philosophic musing struck me over the course of a couple of days this weekend, thanks to the heinous Trinity of Hugh Keevins, Keith Jackson, & Professor Brian Cox.

 

Keevins hilariously tried to position himself an a sardonic onlooker, mocking both halves of the Old Firm, as the extremists within their fan bases point to each others' failings. Having spent the better part of 30 years, if not more, continuously stirring the pot between said fans in order to pick up a wage, this can certainly be classed as bullshitting of the highest order; possibly the only award Hugh is likely to get, his deathless prose matching his dead morality.

 

Professor Brian Cox, on the other hand, was guilty of nothing much more than vanity. Fronting a programme called '40 Years of the Moon', a look back at the BBC archives for footage of Sputnik, Apollo & so forth, Cox was unfortunately placed immediately alongside the likes of Patrick Moore and James Burke. Both the latter delivered clear, precise analyses of a tremendously complex subject, totally comprehensibly and without gimmick.

 

Cox, a rather unattractive man with large teeth and a droning northern English accent, wandered for no particular reason around what appeared to be a disused mill, now ascending the iron stairs, now gazing moodily out the window. Everything he did on this clip show could have been achieved by voice over, but presumably someone (either himself or the producer) wanted a 'face' to grab the viewer. Either way, it shone out amidst the superb standards of BBC past as bullshit of the highest order.

 

Finally, the harshly accented voice of the people, Keith Jackson - the Scottish football equivalent of a crow croaking outside your window at half four in the morning, and about as welcome - was on radio the other day to repeat the media mantra about how our demise and subsequent rise has, so far, been a missed opportunity.

 

It's maybe unfair to call this one bullshit, since many of us onliners initially bought into the concept, too. But I believe it's a myth, nevertheless, given the benefit of hindsight, and if we deny it even now I think we're bullshitting ourselves.

 

The idea is that, starting afresh, we would populate the team with young, dynamic Scottish talent, sweep up through three divisions playing a refreshing brand of modern, passing football, developing a cadre of players to either turn into club legends or sell on for a king's ransom; all this done, we would re-enter the top league with a bounce, a healthy bank balance, possibly whistling a a jaunty tune (state approved, of course), set fair for the promised land.

 

Well, it sounds great, and I fell for it at the time as well. But it's a bit much, given what's happened since, to bitch and moan about it not actually happening. But listening to the likes of Jackson with his crass reductive argument - it could have happened, therefore it ought to have happened, and the fact it didn't happen means it is a disgrace - reminded me how much of this fantasy is being fed into the history of this period.

 

It's the same as the argument that w fans were actually to blame for Craig Whyte because a few hundred (at most) clapped him down Edmiston Drive when he took over. Even if all 42,000 of us had taken turns bestrewing his path with rose petals it still wouldn't leave us culpable - he was installed over our heads and whether we cheered or chastised made no odds. But this is the argument some people would like to put forward...it reflects poorly on them, I suppose, but it reflects poorly on us if we accept bullshit as well!

 

As to the 'missed opportunity' theory, it's certainly true to an extent, but when you think about what would actually have had to have happened as opposed to what did go on, and take into account the behaviour of the people who have been running the club, you see how unlikely it really was. Consider this series of unlikely events which would have been required for the 'dream scenario' portrayed above to have come about:

 

Rangers would have had a decent youth set up prior to disaster to provide the exciting talent; uh-uh

 

When disaster overtook us, these young players had a chance to get used to the idea before being flung in; nope

 

The management team coaching them would have experience at handling young players; zilch

 

The tartan Ajax would have a few games, at least, to prepare before the glare was really turned on them; nada

 

The club's financial position would have been sorted out within about a week between disaster and the season starting; if only, it's still not sorted

 

The club's owners were able to fully endorse such a long term plan of action; well, they didn't

 

There was no off field nonsense to distract such an inexperienced pool of players; to say there was is an understatement

 

Any incoming experienced player actually performed; I'm talking about you, Ian Black.

 

in short, the club would have been stable and fully behind this glorious dream of the future. And we all know that we just couldn't have been further away from that if we'd tried.

 

I hoped the dream would happen, but watching the car crash that was last season unfold it was pretty soon obvious to us all that there was just no way it could have. Hardly a day going by without some kind of crisis, destabilising in the extreme, with a revolving cast of characters in the boardroom farce who only made things more unsteady. Ironically, one such figure, Malcolm Murray, stepped down/was removed (delete as you believe) for leaking information to....Keith Jackson.

 

Not a facet of the death of the dream Keith will be in a hurry to bring up the next time he bemoans the missed opportunity, I fancy. In retrospect, it was only a dream, and I was foolish to think it could happen given the circumstances. But football and being a fan is all about dreaming, no matter how big or little the club you follow is. And no amount of bullshit by bar room oracles in the media will stop that...but less lies about our club would be quite nice.

[amms 0]

Excellent Andy, as ever. I particularly enjoyed "a healthy bank balance, possibly whistling a jaunty tune (state approved, of course), set fair for the promised land."

[craig 5,199]

Fantastic piece Andy. You are wasted in a shop

[andy steel 0]

I went back to school 5 years ago and have now (thank God) only six months left before I emerge, portly and overage, the proud possessor of one of your actual degrees. Surely to God I can do better than filling shelves with that behind me. Mind you, if that's all there is, I'll take it.

 

Thanks to Frankie for posting. Sorry if the article is a bit gloomy...it's hard to find anything to write about that isn't boardroom stuff in this quiet, quiet international week. I wasn't bothered at the time but I wish we had just played Dunfermline now, you kind of feel the momentum of some good wins has evaporated a bit.

[andy steel 0]

Excellent Andy, as ever. I particularly enjoyed "a healthy bank balance, possibly whistling a jaunty tune (state approved, of course), set fair for the promised land."

 

You can't be too careful! Look at Spurs-West Ham fans the other week, and all the Italian cobblers. And posters of a certain age will remember Alexei Sayle as a mediaeval jester in 'The Young Ones'...

 

'What was your crime?'

 

'Whistling on a Tuesday, jester....'

 

'You bastard!!!'

[Frankie 8,665]

I went back to school 5 years ago and have now (thank God) only six months left before I emerge, portly and overage, the proud possessor of one of your actual degrees. Surely to God I can do better than filling shelves with that behind me. Mind you, if that's all there is, I'll take it.

 

Thanks to Frankie for posting. Sorry if the article is a bit gloomy...it's hard to find anything to write about that isn't boardroom stuff in this quiet, quiet international week. I wasn't bothered at the time but I wish we had just played Dunfermline now, you kind of feel the momentum of some good wins has evaporated a bit.

 

Nah, it may be a bit gloomy but it's well written as completely valid as always.

 

Was just injecting a bit of fun into your introduction...

[amms 0]

I'm very much into gloom currently too, darker evenings and country music might be contributing too.

[Frankie 8,665]

I'm very much into gloom currently too, darker evenings and country music might be contributing too.

 

I like this time of year actually. I'm blaming any gloom on the seemingly constant and never-ending international breaks...

[The Real PapaBear 0]

quite superb, Mr Steel - an excellent summation of why things were never going to be what we all fantasized they would.

[forlanssister 3,114]

but less lies about our club would be quite nice.

 

As too would less lies from the club....