Lenny the Lie-on

[pete 2,499]

After Celtic tried to sign Neptune the Roman god of the sea last time around, they ended up with fourth choice, Mowby Dick and gave us rangers supporters a whale of a time. Even his prize predator Keano failed to get into the deep end with Broxi bear and the Ibrox minnows. C-Reid and his zoologists from the deep dark depths hit us with their new circus act.

Lenny the Lie-on. A lie-ons roar can be heard for 5 miles a fact I am sure the SFA are well aware of by now.

A Lie-ons behaviour is such:

 

Threat Displays

 

Lie-ons exhibit a multitude of threat displays to let the other lie-on know that they are ratcheting up the agonistic encounter. Lie-ons rarely ever engage in a full scaled fight, but threat displays and intimidation are used extensively to settle arguments. The following is a list of possible threat displays in increasing order of ferocity:

 

1) Snort, grunt, and/or growl without looking in the direction of the antagonistic lie-on

2) Push away opposing lie-on with head, front paw, or hind leg

3) Audibly blow air through nostrils while glaring at opposing lie-on

4) Snarl and bare teeth with retracted ears

5) Snarling followed by snapping with jaws

6) Standing tall then leading to a lunge or chase

 

 

Defensive/Submissive Displays

 

If the lie-on wants to ratchet down the level of the agonistic encounter, the lion can use one of the following displays to submit to the dominant lion in the encounter:

 

1) Step aside and/or evade the dominant lie-on

2) Jump aside or straight up in the air

3) Lift paw in the air in a defensive/blocking manner

4) Duck down and lower body to the ground

5) Lower body to the ground (#4) and press head sideways onto the ground

6) Crouch down and retract ears and either wag tail or cease movement

7) Crouch down, retract ears, and slowly back away

1) Roll onto one’s back –– expose vital organs and display complete submission

 

All of this behaviour was very evident to see on Sunday as Rangers forced Lenny and the wisonce lie-ons into ultimate submission.

The king of the Jungle whipped by a dancing bear.

 

Actually this tale is insulting to a lion. A Lion has a Pride. Celtic can have no Pride at all.

Edited October 27, 2010 by pete

[bmck 117]

Top notch pete. Great read to wake up tp!