Uilleam

We need to buck up, tout de suite Dr

And I thought you were an East Coaster.....

Whose side are you on, boy? Whose side are you on?

Dessers was onside.

Two offsides, thankfully, but we are sloppy, and look like we are getting sloppier

Some legacy, the more cynical might conclude. Provided that Mr Pooley is instructed to apply his science to Soccerball, and not to Okkerball, then we can hope.

Aaaah, Tottenham......whose sick bay is as big as -might even be bigger than- that of Rangers. Bodes well.

Hannover? If there is a football club in Hamelin, we must establish contact immediately, and arrange for a loan of The Pied Piper. Clearly only he could charm our recalcitrant 'stars' to follow him down the M8, and onto a private jet, destination Whodafuckcares. Mmmmm.....What's Gazza up to these days?

Stats, schmats, Dessers fails the eyesight test. Here's an observation from Matthew Benham, owner of Brentford: "When I look at a centre forward, the first question I ask is not how many goals he's scored, but to what degree he improves the team". (Matthew Alexander Benham is a British businessman who is the owner of English Premier League club Brentford. He is also the founder and owner of Smartodds, a statistical research company for professional gamblers, and owner of Matchbook betting exchange. A graduate of Oxford University in physics who worked in finance in the City of London, he is widely known for his unorthodox data analytics-driven approach to decision-making in football. This guy is no mug, and worth a listen.) Now, the Norwegian striker, Erling Haaland, is often criticised for his general play, and work around the paddock, but excused because 'he scores goals'. Here is a stat: In the five seasons before he joined, the team scored an average of 97 goals/ season. In two full seasons with Haaland, they average 95 goals. Make of that what you will.

So there is a 'bidding war' hotting up, now? Good, oh!

Aston Villa are only the fourth side in Champions League history to score twice in the opening five minutes of a game, after Valencia v Lazio in April 2000, Standard Liège v Arsenal in September 2009, and Borussia Dortmund v Zenit St Petersburg in February 2014.

was not happy being likened to a preserved lemon. Allegedly.

Might be unavoidable.....

I wonder if noted Villa fan, HRH The Prince of Wales, will attend. It could get interesting, if he pitches up.

Mind you

Might be a tad tricky for you, if you are in the 'fanzone', down Digbeth:-

I note with interest, and some amusement, that The Man Who Invented Attacking Football is under pressure at New White Hart Lane, and that Okkerball no longer seems to be flavour of anybody's month, not even of those who take an homeopathic view, and aver that dilution of quality is the way forward. The gravy boat has not sunk yet, although the players, allegedly, are bitching and complaining behind his back. Frankly, he has never impressed me: up here he had -by far- the largest budget, scared, compliant, officials and his record in European competition was nothing to write home about (and that for a mob which tells us that it is out to show the world what it can do). To be scrupulously fair, his captain advised us, displaying not even the merest hint of a speck of a scintilla of irony, that rasellik is refereed to a different standard by continental officials, by way of explanation of recurring failure. For the avoidance of doubt, this standard, of course, means the application of the Laws of the Game, objectively, without, ahem, fear or favour. I concede that I am inclined, naturally, to take a disapproving view of any anybody who has any involvement with that outfit, viewing them as complicit in decades of child abuse, its denial, and its concealment. Laying my distaste aside, however, as far as football goes, I have a sneaking suspicion that he is being found out.

Diomande, obvs. Lad needs to learn how to punch, mind.

They may have to rescind, without the formal appeal process.

Wow! Prejudging an appeal!! It will be interesting to see how this plays out now.

The fact that you have to ask speaks for itself. I think that it is satire, because who from the SFA would be available to comment on a Sunday? And, of course, to make such a statement would prejudice any appeal.

Walsh is a bigot and a cheat.

Satanic intervention, there

And no Professor Bell to deliver a series of lectures