Scott7

And the cove rattlesnakes.

The August fixtures look pretty easy. Sheep, Kilmarnock, Livingston. We usually beat these team's. Don’t we?

Fluke.

Anderlecht have a bid of about 6 million euros for Roofe from the Scottish plugs Rangers. That’s not nice.

Tory boys too lazy without Ruthie to slap them about a bit and Labour trawling in the same waters as SNP.

Major Global Scandal, eh? You can just see the maps being unrolled in the boardrooms of Exchanges and Bourses across the world and reminiscent of the old Warrington vodka ads, a chorus of foreign accents demanding “Vere is Vigan?”

Are they saying that?

Today’s Judge has smelled a rat but reckons he’s not licensed (yet) to exterminate it so he’s passed the rodent on to a panel with a rat-catcher to supervise it. And he’s authorised Thistle and Hearts to get hold of a set of traps. Not too bad.

Hmmm. Beware of investment from the east. Genuine question. Why would anyone want to buy Wigan Athletic? A freak Wimbledonish cup win and that’s it. Think Wigan, think Rugby League.

Hard to keep up. Prediction fatigue is the excuse for the following nonsense. Blades 1-2 ‘Spurs City 2-0 Liverpool Norwich 1-1 B&HA Leicester 1-2 Palace United 5-0 Bournemouth Wolves 2-0 Arsenal Chelsea 3-0 Watford Clarets 1-2 Blades Mags 3-1 Hammers Liverpool 4-0 Villa So’ton 0-4 City

Again?

Get yer Tiger Shaw here. Cheap at £40. www.toffs.com/toffs-retro/toffs-classic-retro-royal-blue-long-sleeve-rugby-syle-shirt I’ve never bought a football shirt for myself but if I did, this would be it. Toffs call it a rugby shirt but it’s near enough. A young fella like you MacK might prefer their 1960s V neck Jim Baxter.

Why does this Mulraney geezer always dress like a gangster?

Would it look good on Tiger Shaw? Nope. Bin it.

The players won’t miss the moaners and whingers.

“I just can't put my finger on what annoys those on the far-right about a Muslim, Scots-Asian, SNP, Scottish Government Minister?!” His ineptitude.

I know it’s the Effy Cup and not the league but City should forfeit their quarter final tie and the match should be awarded 3-0 to Newcastle as a punishment for turning up in that rhubarb and custard abortion of a strip. On further consideration the Mags should be chucked out too for crimes against haircuts. Stokoe and Scoular will be turning in their graves.

Tut, tut, old chap. How can you suggest such a thing?

As many as that? Generous as ever, gs.

Burnley 0-1 Watford So’ton 2-1 Arsenal Chelsea 1-2 City

It makes sense for the Board to make management decisions. Nothing wrong with the concept. It’s the mindset of the Board that is the problem.

I didn’t know that. Defenders in the EPL will be breathing a sigh of relief. What a player.

True. David Silva and Aguero will be approaching veteran stage. I can see this team going down. Time for Allardyce or Warnock.

Some performance by City last night. Crisp and accurate long range passing and that’s just the goalkeeper. Must be great to bring on de Bruyne, Laporte and Sane as substitutes. If they can get a proper centre half they should be able to depose Liverpool next season

There used to be plenty of Jamesinas, Ianinas, Johninas and the like in the Presbyterian/Methodist north east fishing towns.