26th of foot

Just a small musing from last evening, not once was the word, 'coefficient' uttered on BBC Radio Shortbread last evening.

der Berliner, Your referenced Wiki page proves my point. 2018/19 season : ra Sellik lost 3-2 to AEK Athens in the third qualifying round. 2019/20 season : ra Sellik lost 5-4 to FC Cluj in the third qualifying round. 2020/21 season : ra Sellik lost 2-1 to Ferencvaros in the second qualifying round. Three defeats in three years in the qualifying rounds.

I wonder if Smokey will get a refund on his flight to Bulgaria?

PQ shut down football broadcasting last evening before 22.15hrs. Post match discussion, including everyone having their say, and interviewing both managers, lasted barely twenty-five minutes. The Scottish champions, carrying the Scottish standard into Europe's premier tournament have been papped out for the third year on the trot, in the qualifying rounds. Here's the thing, we will NOT see those goals again on the BBC, they will be confined to the file labeled, 'AEK,FC Cluj, and Ferencvaros'. Can any Gersnetter remember the AEK goals? I know someone will retrieve the goals from YouTube, the point is our national broadcaster will bury them. I remember seeing the Gothenberg goals that kncked us out a quarter of a century past, every weekend for a year. Lennon's interview with Kheredine was car crash material. It begins : Kheredine, "What went wrong, Celtic were the better side"? Neil : "awe come on, comfortably so, comfortably the better team". Lennon then paints a self preservation picture, "it's hard work and I'm fed up with it. There are players here who don't want to be here". Kheredine misses the opportunity to reveal identities of said players, but offers, "it's the Europa League, can you look forward to it"? Neil indulges in a bit of revisionism, "we'll have to, it is what it is. You know Kheredine, we work hard all year to get here, the graft in winning the title for what, gone in no time". Haud the bus, the hard yards were put in by Neil Doncaster, Rod the Fraud McKenzie, and Shifty McGifty. Finally, the entire Gang Hut laments Edouard's injury, they all question Lennon's decision to play Christie as the main front man. A couple of them even question the young Polish player, Klimala not being brought on to the pitch. No one, not one says, 'Leigh Griffiths'. Where is Leigh on the Hollicom provided scripts these days? Mental health, pray for Leigh, drug habits, debts to gangsters, overweight, ................................. etc. Scotland's best finisher, Clarke needs him for the Euro-qualifiers next week, he is not in Clarke's squad, he wasn't in Lennon's squad for last night, .............................. Leigh has been disappeared.

Tom English is beelin', describing ra Sellik's elimination from the CL in the qualifying rounds for the third time in three years, "ah mean, AEK Athens, then Cluj, tonight it's Ferencvaros; it's so unnecessary, so avoidable, awchh". His description of the second goal by Ferencvaros is even better, "it's a big hoof, a BIG hoof, it goes a mile, el Hamed falls over, and a poke, well maybe more than a poke past the keeper". Pat is most descriptive, "it's a shocking goal, shocking, really shocking". James McFadden declares, "Sellik were the better side, some of the chances they missed, and I've just seen Ryan Christie's goal, he was on side". Big Dick reminded him it was Elyounoussi who was flagged offside. Faddy stutters, was it, was it"? Poor Kheredine, we are waiting for him to interview the Lurgan Bigot.

I have a link to Sellik TV, watching Gerry McCulloch, John Hartson, and Michael Stewart doing half-time analysis. All are using the 'we' word when referring to ra green'n'grey hoops. Perhaps, the PQ Gang Hut could do similarly, bring that bit of authenticity to proceedings?

Stewart's Melville College.

BBC Radio Shortbread has a near full house tonight. Ra Sellik are in Champions League qualifying action this evening against Hungarian league winners, Ferencvaros. Big Dick hosting, Liam McLeod commentating; both Dandies are most representative of visiting Dons supporters at ra Stade de Gadd, when they entertain by chanting, 'we hate Rangers more than you'. The Blarney Bhoys, Pat Bonner and Tom English are offering heavily supportive comment. James McFadden rawks further Sellik credentials, and Kheredine Idessane brings that privately educated Yahoo perspective. We must forgive Chris McLaughlin, he cannot be party to Gang Huttery tonight, as he has just appeared on BBC Scotland TV news presenting ra Sellik's ire at today's Scottish Government decision to refuse fans' entry to the chamber of secrets this coming Sunday. Reference contrast, tune into the same station in a fortnight's time, when Rangers begin their European journey. You will hear disinterest and constant criticism, inter spaced with sniggering and guffaws.

Peter will be beelin'. Scottish Sports Minister, Joe Fitzpatrick will be summoned to receive the necessary discipline. Joe will be told ra Sellik's interests are paramount to public health. Hollicom will activate the Holyrood reaction squad, and Chris McLaughlin will be given an assurance he will never have to report bad news to ra Sellik support ever again. Whilst the above concurrent activity is happening, Peter will play the vicTIM card. Those rugger types enjoying the vast open spaces at Murrayfield, will be the next target for the Green Brigade. We await the 'Banjoed in a Barbour' headlines.

Reference his immediate future, he will not enjoy driving his Lambo' around Lille, the place is full of cobbles.

The Brotherhood of the Big White Sannies. The BBC Scotland rehabilitation of Sellik TV's Michael Stewart is complete. He appeared on BBC Radio Scotland on Saturday's Sportsound and took responsibility for the naughty step. He watched Rangers TV inside a PQ studio, gave a single minute half time report based around Rangers having insufficient creativity. He provided a two minute full time report on Rangers 2-0 home victory against Killie. He provided the facts then interpreted those facts ie Rangers dominated possession, BUT ................., then Rangers dominated territory, BUT ................. Rangers had most attempts on goal, BUT ........................ In summation, five facts, five BUTS. Then, Michael disappeared before Craig Levein came on to provide insight to the upcoming Dundee United/Sellik match at Tannadice. Pat Bonner joined Craig to provide balance, Michael switched to Sellik TV where his lack of balance is legitimised. Saturday evening's Sportscene had Michael on, replete in the now compulsory Big White Sannies. Between gigs at PQ, Michael can entertain the Gang Hut paddleboarding on the river in his Big White Sannies. Again, Mikey takes control of Rangers analysis. We are presented with a couple of minutes of areas of available exploitation ie Kent should be running into the highlighted shaded area. I thought we are defending well, no goals conceded in five league games. If Michael's hand is firmly on BBC Scotland's tiller of Rangers analysis, maybe that could be highlighted? Particularly, since the Killie/Sellik game, Michael did not want to talk about Sellik's £7 million centre-half, Jullien. Clearly, Hollicom tell Michael his actions, and PQ accept it. Is PQ a branch office of Hollicom? He is not alone, Cosgrove is extremely fond of telling Rangers supporters what to think - we should forget about the Rangers Tax Case Blog, every aspect of Hagi's signing is wrong, Rangers supporters are H-u-ns and typical orange wankers, ... etc. Our participation is not needed, other than to pay our license fees. PQ are now resolved to talk at us, using the voice of Sellik TV. Finally, Cowan asks on Saturday, "how do we know William Wallace is not a Rangers supporter"? Answer, "William Wallace paid his face painter". In between Cosgrove guffaws, he stutters, "incoming".

Did Peter tell Chris McLaughlin to pen this, or is Chris eventually showing some initiative?

How do you solve a problem like Leigh? Alison McConnell is a safe pair of Hollicom hands. Once again, she dons the jersey and gloves for her beloved Sellik. A whole article about Leigh Griffiths again, and again no mention of convictions for racism, girlfriends birthday parties with no social distancing, being overweight, having compulsive gambling issues(sorry, mental health issues), midnight journeys from Bothwell to Castlemilk, ....................... etc. Plenty of reiteration reference quality as a striker, a cheeky chappie, a Scottish international necessity, the answer to Steve Clarke's need, ......................... etc. Alison's Hollicom provided answer, Leigh needs to go out on loan. May I suggest Las Vegas Lights.

A wee addendum to Jum's performance over the weekend. I was thinking, George Galloway is from Lochee too, he supports Dundee United/ra Sellik as well. Further, George will be no stranger to a Hollicom script. Surely, Dundee University needs two Rectums? Certainly, enough effluence is produced by the Lochee Two. Time for Undergraduates and Post-Graduates at Clootie City's seat of tertiary education to demand Two Rectums.

Today on BBC Shortbread. Sellik TV's Michael Stewart is on the naughty step, Big Dick has announced, "Michael will be keeping an eye on today's game at Ibrox". Tom English then leads a sniggerfest on the Morelos situation. Apparently, Tom has informed information that no bids have been received for Alfredo. Michael thinks Morelos has had his head minced. Guffaw after guffaw ensues. Unbelievably, it's Big Dick who offers, "he finished last year as the Europa Cup top scorer on fourteen goals". I hope Michael has enough time to join his colleagues on Sellik TV at Tannadice.

Alfredo Morelos is not in today's team, not in the squad either. We start with Roofe and Itten up front.

Jum goes full Tonto! The current Rectum of Dundee University, Jum Spence has a weekly column in the Dundee Courier. It's where Jum gets to wave the Saltire whilst sitting extremely comfortably with his preferred prejudice. Jum never strays far from his provided Hollicom script during broadcast. He Tweets the benefits of denominational education, mass timings, his brother's long term love affair with ra Sellik, and why Rangers supporters are intrinsically evil. His column is used most often to reinforce his weekly tweets. Jum articulated Dundee United's ire reference proceedings at Auchenhowie three weeks past, "Justifiably raging" at the mountain being constructed out of Covid testing molehills. What happened to that Mike Mulraney demanded SFA inquiry, don't ask Jum? The Aberdeen players' night out, Bolingoli, and Griffiths girlfriend's birthday party were only mentioned when the SFA instigated another inquiry. Jum was quick with, "every first year Law student knows a retrospective law is a bad law". Remember, Jum was allowed to resign for the second and final time from PQ, after telling the listenership that Rangers should be prosecuted under the proceeds of crime law. Jum knew about this because he lectured on it. It was pointed out no crime had been committed. In the Blessed Brendan's final year of tenure at ra Stade de Gadd, Jum utilised his column to tell the world, Dundee is now a three club city. Apparently, the tanned one's team was playing such attractive football, Dundonians were wrapping themselves in ra green'n'grey to appreciate ra Sellik way in opposition to offers from Dens and Tannadice. Yesterday, Jum announced, "the most successful club in Scotland come to Tannadice". Jum pinged the number of Yahoos that had stopped him this last week, to tell how much they enjoyed visits to Dundee United. The pubs, the food(the Peh), and the welcome. Of course, when Bears engage Jum, they shout abuse at him from across the road. We know this, because Jum reported the incident to PC Murdoch. We can only assume Police inquiries are continuing five years on? I wonder if Mike Mulraney was outraged? I would like to say to Jum, I hope your team wins. However, do we really know who the Rectum of Dundee University supports?

Rangers 2 Killie 0 FGS : Kent.

Every time Killie hove on to the horizon, we have the same discussion. I will make my usual contribution, because I believe we continue to make the same mistakes. The key to Killie is their powerhouse midfield trio. Both Dicker and Power sit in front of the central defenders. They are hard working, tough tackling, destroyers of forward momentum. They enjoy a third midfielder in the same vein(Tshibola so far this season), just forward and to their middle. This triangle allows penetration down either side towards the corner flags. Try playing through them, and the tough tackling begins. The path of least resistance is on the flanks, once you are down in the corners, the Killie full backs and whoever covers either flank further forward ie Burke and Brophy crowd you, allowing recirculation back across the midfield trio. This provides opportunity for interception and quick counter attack. We need players to go in and mix it, win the free kicks or turn them, inviting even more desperate tackles. How many times have we gone one up against Killie, then created three/four/five further chances to increase our lead, but fail to do so? In the last 15-20 minutes, the midfield trio step further forward, 20 yards or so; and the ball is intercepted more frequently, the ball begins to fizz across our box equally frequently. I think in Gerrard's tenure, Killie have taken more points off us than any other club? There is a trend there, and tomorrow will be no different.

Au contraire mes amis, The family Butler accompanied Pater and I to London because Pa decided upon Mater's motor, a fire engine red Morris Traveler. The cedar wood needed a linseed oil refreshment. It was while perambulating to the Junior Ganymede that bampottery and bawbaggery was afoot, chibbery livened the air. I bow to 1969, over half a century leads to temporary fog. The song I remember was, 'singing Kai aye yippee, yippee aye, Jock Steins a fcuking hippee'. I have never been a fan of foie gras, more salt of the earth in my preference for rillettes. I would consider a chablis accompaniment with goose based pate a crime, buttery burgundy should be reserved for crab/lobster, and the occasional ash covered cheese. Burgundy Pinot Noir is the thing for fowl liver produce. Of course, the very thing for all trencherman tit bits, is the sparkling perry, Babycham.

The English club faced most often by Rangers is Everton. Reference Chelsea, I attended the first three friendlies, all Rangers victories. The first was a 0-1 win at Stamford Bridge, a thirty yard screamer by Jardine in a '71 testimonial. The second and third games were weeks apart in the mid-eighties, home and away. I suspect they were arranged because both clubs were out of Europe. Rangers won both 3-2, Chelsea's Micky Hazzard was the stand out player in both matches. Interestingly, the game at Ibrox had a twenty minute hiatus because of floodlight failure. I have also witnessed a dozen friendlies against both Arsenal and Spurs; however, the only game where I saw real bad blood was a match at Loftus Road circa 1968. The game ended 2-2 with punches and kicks being regularly exchanged between players. It culminated with Rodney Marsh booting Kai Johansen in the face. The action in Acton was keen that evening as ten thousand Bears righted perceived wrongs. My old man booked a hotel in Kensington, it was our Butler who reported the violence.

We have to inject tempo, we must get in behind, we must go in where it hurts. We are not drawing fouls in and around the Livi' box. Let's run at them, draw tackles, we have not worked their keeper. We have been here before, drawing zero-zero at half-time in Livi' is most dispiriting. We need a player to grip the situation.

The magic hat is fully committed to stopping ten?

The Hollicom Pool of Talent? Where to begin? Wednesday has 3 SPFL fixtures, Rangers are at home against St Johnstone so PQ sat Billy Dodds on the naughty step to watch Rangers TV. DrStu' was at pains to tell us all that Clive Tyldesley had a fifty a day habit of mentioning England's 1966 World Cup win during each commentary. Billy did not confirm, in fact said very little other than to offer brief half-time and full time reports. Pat Bonner was at a loss, used to talking exclusively Sellik, he was sent to Fir Park. The question of ra Sellik possibly fielding an illegible player at Rugby Park was NEVER going to be aired on PQ, so Pat had no Hollicom provided script. He observed the faceless cardboard cut-outs in the Fir Park stands and decided they were away fans and they outnumbered the home supporters? Big Dick had to intervene, of course he had made a complete cunt of the faceless cut-outs at the weekend, he thought they were representative of dead folk . Motherwell have entered into an agreement with a mental health charity and agreed to the faceless effigies to represent those folk in sufferance who go missing each and every year. Maybe PQ should consider replacing both Pat and Big Dick with faceless cardboard cut-outs? You would think Pat would be comfortable with closed stands, he was working for BBC Scotland during Ronnie Deila's tenure at ra Stade de Gadd. Wednesday night's Sportscene also drew on the Hollicom pool of talent. The two guests were Stephen McGinn, grandson of former Sellik Chair, Jack McGinn and James McFadden. Last night's Sportscene had Julie Fleeting rawking the big white sannies. Clearly, Sellik's TV's Michael Stewart had paddled across the Olympic size pool in the sannies and provided Julie with the necessary flotation. Tune in to tonight's show to find out who is replete in the perfectly balanced Hollicom provided footwear? If you read back on this thread, a big part of it was the weekly media review on PQ, involving DrStu' and Dr Eamonn O'Neill. A decade of no balance saw the show moved off the national megaphone, and on to Talk Media Podcast. Friday had Angela Haggerty on with ra twa' nationalists, ooooohhh all warm and fuzzy. They discussed John Swinney and the SQA, and all arrived at the conclusion that John should not resign, should not face a vote of no confidence, because the people of Scotland don't really want it. The tartan trio are imbued with such arrogance that they speak for the common weal. Angela's Twitter feed is excellent, everyday we see another Sellik minded type stepping soaking wet out of the Hollicom pool. As well as Cosgrove and O'Neill being bigged up by Angela, she reveals her new born son, Francis has former Sellik View Editor, Kevin McKenna as his Godfather. Of course, Kevin was allowed to resign that particular designation, in light of the revelation he thought the IRA bombing of the Enniskillen cenotaph was, "a legitimate act of war". Recently, a number of photographs have surfaced of Kevin happily posing with a number of Sellik Boys' club officials, currently in the jail. Further, the benefits of swimming in the Hollicom pool has seen both DrStu' and Kevin pitch up as columnists on the National. Yesterday's Off the Ball had Davie Farrell as the guest, today's show has Connie McLaughlin as the contributor. Even when Sellik are not playing, you have to establish your Sellik supporting credentials to have an opportunity at a PQ standard of life. Michael Stewart appeared on Sportsound on Saturday, he banged on about the unfair nature of the SPFL's dealings with the Aberdeen Eight and Bolingoli. Why were Hearts told to cease training? Further, why was Hull City training at the same facility in Edinburgh allowed to continue training? Well, he would NOT be allowed to voice off on such matters on Sellik TV. Actually, on PQ no one listened. Finally, a wee bon mot from yesterday. Jason Leitch was on for 40 minutes again, I don't know if he's dropped the Professor bit or maybe the SQA have downgraded him? However, he provided the Scottish Government guidelines across the spectrum. The question not asked by DrStu', was asked by Big Dick right at the end of his contribution. He wanted to know if anything was stopping Hearts moving to Hull to continue their training? A stuttering Jason offered, "the First Minister wouldn't like it". Anyways, ra Sellik are back on CL qualifying duty during midweek. The Blarney Bhoys will be reunited at ra Stade de Gadd and no one will deviate from the Hollicom provided script. The Icelanders will also be told not to even think about raising the question of ineligibility of players. The precedence set by ra Sellik against both Legia Warsaw and Sion must not be recalled. The Hollicom pool surface must always remain calm.

Livingston 0 Rangers 2 FGS : Morelos.