26th of foot

Here, in deepest, darkest Lanarkshire; we have an annual open air music festival. It's been happening for a couple of centuries in Larkhall. Numerous bands arrive and create a colourful cavalcade. I believe the local pride is a rambunctious grouping called, 'the Larkhall Purple Heroes'? Their drum skins are sponsored by Cadbury's Heroes, and those tins of Cadbury's Heroes prevalent in all stores at this time of year, are indeed a homage. Small drums honouring the carefree cavalcading Larkhall Purple Heroes. What is it with Quakers, brewing and confectionery?

The feeding frenzy is a conditioned response. The SFA want to be seen extracting their pound of flesh. Rangers as a club seem to have been made aware of the incident within minutes of police intervention. The timeous suspensions and ensuing statement have been congratulated by the the Scottish Government. Rangers are holding the trump card. I note Rangers have been fined approx £4,5000 by UEFA for a Covid contravention during the Galatasaray game. It's good to know during lockdowns/Tiers/local restrictions that members of FARE still get access to Ibrox.

I agree on the antipathy bit. The Chris McLaughlin thing at Easter Road was five years ago, the Richard Gordon/Filip Sebo quip a dozen years ago, James Cook's apology for deliberately portraying McCoist as sectarian was 7-8 years past, The Kevin 'the H-u-n' Thomson file was 13-14 years ago, Michael Stewart's latest outburst was back in March, Cosgrove's lies continual and continuous, ....etc. We need a time line on all the incidents, how many apologies have PQ offered the club in the last three season? Half a dozen at least. The length and scale of PQ's organised careful hate is illustrated by a demonstration that took place in the PQ car park ten years ago. The Police estimated a shade over two thousand Rangers supporters turned up prior to a Saturday match. It was peaceful, lasted half-an-hour, some chants, a letter was submitted at reception highlighting BBC Scotland bias. I was not involved, I stood on the periphery watching. I listened on my radio, Pat Nevin thought Rangers supporters demonstrating was a hoot, and demanded to know why we were demonstrating? Of course, the last thing the Gang Hut was going to do was go out and voxpop the gathering Bears. Instead, they took photos from the top floor, pictures of individuals, these photos began appearing on Sellik forums, a few at a time, asking if anyone could identify the subjects? I suspect Carson will adopt the path of least resistance, he'll kick the can down the road.

Goodbye Donalda, Hello Steve. Half a century past, there was an annoying chart single(weren't they all) by Cliff Richard, 'Goodbye Sam, Hello Samantha'. The gist was Cliff leaving the boys behind in favour of girls. Also, he waved cheerio to both Joe and Lou for the delights of Joanne and Louise. Confusing really, given Cliff's public admittance of asexuality, the colostomy bag, and his then decade long correspondence with both Kray twins. In the hypocrisy stakes, it's small potatoes compared to the Beeb's tolerance of Jimmy Saville's predatorial behaviour and subsequent cover up. Auntie Beeb is a continuum, soon to be a century of principle. You pay your license fee and look what you receive in return; several national radio stations, dozens of regional radio stations, plus a similar division of TV provision, and the jewel in the crown, the world service. Outstanding value, not replicated any where else in the world. The vast majority of those employed by the BBC believe in public service broadcasting, proud to provide the service. There have been historic notable exceptions, the afore mentioned Saville and the Beeb's live coverage of the Police raiding Sir Cliff's Berkshire home. Did the BBC satisfy public interest? Last month, BBC Scotland announced a substantial loss, the two year old BBC Scotland TV Channel was crashing and burning. The flag ship show, 'the Nine' was on occasion attracting under 5,000 viewers.Voluntary redundancies were required and a couple of dozen well kent, most experienced broadcasters decided to take the packages and run. Gordon Brewer, Isabel Fraser, Brian Taylor, Reevel Alderson, Kenneth MacDonald, Bill Whiteford, ...... etc left the PQ building. Chief Political Editor, Brian Taylor departed in a spirit of bonhommie, still flashing his Arab credentials, but not referring anymore to his time at St Andrews Uni' with Alex Salmond. Bill Whiteford withdrew, continuing to fly the flag of principle high. Bill Whiteford presented Drivetime for two decades, interviewed all the political heavyweights with the same gusto, he wanted to inform his listeners. Educated in Aberdeen, living in Stirlingshire, his interests are hillwalking and motorbikes. I have never heard him express any interest in football. On Friday morning, he presented his last show and his guest was newly appointed Director of BBC Scotland Steve Carson. He succeeded Donalda MacKinnon. Listeners questions were interspersed with those of the Host, and BBC bias was soon to the fore. Whiteford set up Carson by reminding him Rangers had won their Europa Cup game the night before 1-0, further the club's Europa record so far, was a perfect six points. Bill continued, "why would Rangers supporters listen to BBC Scotland when we give them no coverage, we have no interviews with the manager or the players"? He pointed out a competitor, STV had the interviews exploiting a local good news story. At this point, I should mention Whiteford had Tweeted his farewell message, "that's me aff then" alongside two photographs, one of the PQ Clydeside building and the other being the American Embassy in Saigon in 1975. Depicted is the last Huey helicopter leaving the roof of the Embassy. As the rotary wing began to flare, Steve Carson began to splutter. He grasped for, "it's a matter of huge regret" and, "we are making every endeavour to resolve". Choppers have a real whine going as the wing bites purchase from the air, not nearly as high pitched as Steve Carson answering a perfectly reasonable question. Rangers supporters, particularly the elderly, the infirm, those in remote areas, .... etc all pay their license fees, why NO SERVICE? The Gang Hut cabal will love Steve as much as they admired Donalda. He was Head of TV at RTE, married long term RTE Presenter, Miriam O'Callaghan, they have eight children. I suspect uttering regret, endeavour, and resolve will be Steve's comfort blankets? The situation at PQ is akin to the Saville/Richard situations, a cabal have been allowed to deliberately manufacture a situation whereby only those taking the rite of passage get a slice of the economic pie. Inside BBC Scotland, rattling it into the H-u-ns improves your standard of life. Well done Bill Whiteford, a principled man.

Postman Pat and his black and white cat. After enduring our excruciating second half on the drastic plastic at Rugby Park, I listened to BBC Radio Scotland's coverage of the Scottish Cup semi-final between Aberdeen and ra Sellik. As stated before, Pat Bonner has the blessing of a Producer to only talk about ra Sellik. He has never covered a St Johnstone - Livingston encounter, and never will. Truly unique, a club like no other requires a specified on message representative to tell it like it is, on the national broadcaster. I know many Gersnetters were like me, heartbroken at the news of Postman Pat being revealed as a member of the Yakuza. It's quite clear in every depiction of the Greendale Hero, he has three fingers. Obviously, in an act of homage, he has severed the missing digits. Cauterisation after yubitsume demands respect, it does demand questions about his numeracy, why sever two digits when only the little finger is demanded? Maybe St Cadocs in Newton Mortgage is hardline Yakuza? Parishioner Pat shares a pew with Compliance Officer, Claire Whyte's family, her hubby is both Headteacher and Chair of St Cadoc's boys club(separate entity) and this fact might solve the issue of numeracy. Today, with fifteen minutes remaining, Pat told the nation, "I've counted ten misplaced Celtic passes in the second half". I don't think misplaced passes were the issue, more like Pat was flashing his credentials in achieving a personal limit, being able to count to ten. Limited numbers of prints depicting Pat cradling Jess are available from ra Sellik shop. Pat is the thin edge of the threatening wedge emanating from Newton Mortgage.

All's well that ends well? I don't know, the second half was excruciating. We cut them open three or four times and did not capitalise. The number of opportunities not taken at Rugby Park by Rangers in these last three seasons is approaching the ridiculous. Further, there is something about that surface that drains the energy out of Rangers players, the hour mark arrived and we miss tackles, headers, interventions, ..... etc and simultaneously begin to give away free kicks, corners, deep throw-ins, ..... etc. I find the current SPFL Premiership table soothing.

The hour mark will dictate, if it remains 0-1. Kamara and Defoe for me, the Finn to calm the midfield and Jermain to sniff a second.

Kilmarnock 0 Rangers 2 FGS : Morelos.

Tomorrow's game is a hurdle. Steven Gerrard's Rangers have visited Rugby Park on six occasions, winning two, drawing one, and losing three. The wins were a last minute Goldson header in the league, and a 1-3 victory in the League Cup. The draw was a 1-1 Scottish Cup tie, and all three defeats were 2-1 in the league. The pitch is a factor, whether we like to admit it or not. I know we have a similar surface at Auchenhowie and I am sure we utilise it during the build ups to visiting Rugby Park. The ball moves slower in possession keeping cross field passing. It moves quicker when put over the top. The bounce varies, and we have had two players(Murphy and Waghorn) seriously injured on the surface. We must overcome the trepedation. I have said this before when a Killie match comes on to the horizon, and I'll say it again because it's a fact. Killie play a triangle of defensive midfielders around the centre circle. Tough tackling, hard running, and continually playing right on the edge; Dicker, Power, and Mulumbu hold position, no matter the score, state of the game. Often, Mulumbu will be subbed by Tshibola, a doppelganger. The trio will show you the flanks, the biting tackles begin 10-15 yards outside the box, and any successful intervention sees an immediate ball flung forward for Burke/Brophy. Interestingly, all three defeats have seen Rangers score first, then have opportunities to double/treble our lead, but they are passed up. Killie squeeze twenty yards further up the park, and the ball is flung into our box from all angles. Europe will have left us slightly leggy, but we MUST start strong and fast, grab a couple of goals and force Killie to change it. Hoping for lots of positivity tomorrow.

Currently, Craig Levein is on BBC Radio Scotland as a guest of DrStu' and Cowan. Levein is shooting from the hip, targets are squealing aaahya, when hit. Mike McCurry has been peppered, Ann Budge lionised, Graeme Hogg got what he deserved, .................... etc. DrStu' prompts Levein, "your relationship with Michael Stewart"? Craig flicked off the safety, levelled the weapon, and sustained his fore finger on the trigger, "I never liked him, watching him with the young players, he would shout at them if they made a mistake, shout at them if they didn't pass to him, if he made a mistake, he was beyond criticism. He was a bully. I have said before, he played for Hearts at a rate of one pound per week, still the worst value of any player I signed". Mikey has been hit with so much lead, I suspect it would be easier to pick him up with a magnet?

Dundee United going out of business is a party streamer and balloon event. Street parties, a 100 gun salute by the Royal Horse Artillery, a Spitfire fly pass, burning effigies of Jum Spence, celebratory whiskies, celebratory pieces of porcelain commissioned, Kirk bells ringing, ...................... and a mass gathering of Bears outside PQ to blow a Guinness world record breaking raspberry at the Cnut, James Cook. I am indebted to Sgt Maj' Tam O'Hara for my reasonable response. A leither, born'n'bred Hibby to his tippy toes, he instructed me 40 years past that a bayonetting should only be followed by an attempt to shag said wound, if you were intent on showing disapproval. Gersnetters, keep your bayonets sheaved amid the salivating flowing anticipation.

Are Rangers exploiting a new niche, fitbaw porn'? I feel a stirring!

Bring on the Empty Horses. Ra Sellik had two consecutive defeats on their own midden, Rangers banjoed them two zip, followed by a 1-3 whipping from AC Milan. A three all draw at Pittodrie kicked off the crisis. Lenny was up to his old tricks, had lost the dressing room, and Duffy was begging for Mercy. Hollicom have exited stage left but the game remains the same. Neil is the man and a convincing cabaret is required. Tuesday evening arrived, seconds out, and Martin O'Neill delivered a performance of amusement, absurdity, and poignancy. One hour of Knockabout Martin on BBC Radio Scotland was the price worth paying to avail the audience that Lenny remained the man. Steadying the buffs required a whole raft of on message Yahoo Journos, they were on the oars at battle speed, a ramming interference was the order of the day. Gerrard has it easy, Neil faces tougher opposition, and the merest positive will be accentuated. Gersnetters will be aware this thread has ran for nearly three years, it's just as well because it allows us to see a recurring theme. Ra Sellik are truly unique, a club like no other, each and every year of the last three; they have been drawn in the Europa Cup group that in reality is a Champions League group. All other participants in the Europa Cup, including Rangers have been condemned to facing clubs sitting tenth placed in their national leagues. Sellik's victories count more towards the national co-efficient and their grip on the national standard is tighter. PQ CSC tell us this and choose the Blarney Bhoys and MON to tell us so. Last night, it was full commentary for ra Sellik's heroic 2-2 draw in France, Pat Bonner relayed the beating heart of Donegal. It was a typical BBC Scotland production, Rangers were relegated to the odd comment of Billy Dodds watching Rangers TV. Deliberately, they keep us on the sidelines, beelin' and raging. We can never be Scottish enough, strictly back of the bus. It's a considerable effort building the platform, can Neil augment the given sweat by defeating Aberdeen in the the Scottish Cup semi-final and once again placing ra Sellik centre stage? A lot of folks are relying on the misogynistic ego centric pulling the last rabbit out of the hat, will Shane Duffy stand strong? This moment in time is the best place we have been in over eight years. As ever, the PQ gang Hut are determined to extinguish any hope not borne of the great hunger. It's down to our appetite.

Surely, we have to find a way to get both Hagi and Kent involved? Neither Keeper has made a save, if we get the two above involved then we should at least work their Keeper?

Rangers 2 Lech Poznan 0 FGS : Kent.

Haud the bus, Jum Spence's favourites(no laughing at the back) sign McNulty last week, this week they are asking players to take a twenty per cent wage cut? Are Dundee United a well run club?

As Cosgrove keeps telling us, "Scottish football does not need Rangers". To celebrate the above, let's have another Sell Out Saturday.

Just a thought. Can carrot wielding Zombies catch Covid?

Another sign of rebellion on lat night's Sportscene, he was replete in a pair of brogues. After a month of slavish adherence to Gang Hut attire, he has ditched the BIG White Sannies. I hope he has not chucked the footwear into the Clyde? A clear hazard to marine navigation. Michael, like the rest of them utilise Twitter for self promotion. He prepares his audience by flagging up his next appearances. His last Sellik TV promo on Twitter, was the game in Riga. I suspect he has left, or been asked to leave? We should be told.

Seriously, have ra Sellik signed the correct Duffy? He was easily robbed of possession by Wright in the lead up to the Dandies second. I am expecting him to break into, 'Mercy'.

Script Rewrites? So, it's Thursday night and Big Dick on the national broadcast service is looking over the debris of 24 Europa Cup games. Rangers have won 2-zip in Belgium against a Liege side that had not lost at home in six years, whereas ra Sellik carrying the weight of the Scottish standard, slumped to a 1-3 home defeat against AC Milan. Kemar Roofe's spectacular clincher has seen a significant improvement in the national co-efficient, but no one mentions it. Instead, Big Dick is joined by Pat Bonner for the script rewrite. Tedious Pat is unique, he only covers ra Sellik games, which is just as well because he knows very little about other clubs and their players. He is a helluva nice guy, but how did he manage to secure the position? BBC Radio Scotland do not have anyone else who works to such exclusivity. Anyways, Big Dick concludes that AC Milan have won at Sellik Park by two clear goals, just like Rangers on Saturday, and similarly without getting out of second gear. Swallowing the brave pill, he asks, "are the roof and walls of this Celtic dynasty crashing down, is their dominance finally coming to an end"? Pat was momentarily silenced by such audacity, then stuttered, "oh c'mon Richard, it's very early in the season and no silverware is handed out in late October". Of course, Pat is correct and we Rangers supporters should be mindful of such veracity. However, where did Big Dick find such courage, the Gang Hut will be most unforgiving? Gang Hut Solidarity? Michael Stewart spent the entire evening on BBC Radio Scotland on Thursday evening, from the start of the Rangers game conversation to the conclusion of discussion on ra Sellik's demise at ra Stade de Gadd. Michael is a Sellik TV employee, it was a home game, he should have been on the gantry with Sutton and Hartson? Similarly, on Saturday he was posted missing from the chamber of secrets. Has Michael left Sellik TV? It may explain his vault face, heavy criticism of Lennon and Sellik. What's happened, we should be told? How embarrassing for Mikey, being replaced by the master of eloquence, Tom Boyd. Given the current circumstances surrounding ra Sellik, you wonder why the two heavyweights, ie those employed with the designations, 'Sports News Correspondent' and, 'Chief Sports Writer' are not engaged? Both Chris McLaughlin and Tom English were conspicuous by their collective absence during midweek. Kheredine Idessane replaced McLaughlin and he believed Lennon's new found praise for his players on Wednesday. Tom was covering the rugby. You can see the awkwardness of the situation for Chris, his sister, Creepy Connie is charged with preparing ra Sellik players with mental toughness. Neil might be of a mind to point this out. Tom doesn't do awkward either. From a number of characters pissing out of the Gang Hut, to another clearly pissing in by proxy. Phil McFournames has a 'very well placed source' who has revealed Dermot Desmond has given the nod on Mikey's criticism, such rationale makes it easier to explain both McLaughlin and English disappearing. Surely, Neil is not being deliberately isolated? I suspect there is more than enough material circulating for BBC Scotland to commission a soap, 'ra Sellik Soap'? The title is as much an oxymoron as current PQ Gang Hut solidarity.

Rangers 3 Livingston 0 FGS : Defoe.

On Flanders field, Liege met their Waterloo ....... it’s a night for mixed metaphors? What was going on at the end with the Liege coach, he’s taken that plucky little Belgium thing too far. Rangers lower the Standard to carry the standard.

Standard Liege 1 Rangers 2 FGS : Arfield.

Can I interest you in the purchase of a bridge in New York?