26th of foot

Yeah, back in the day Peter used to Host pub quizzes in and around Lanarkshire. He would be accompanied by a Sellik ex-player or two for a Q and A before and after the quiz. We are talking thirty years past, you would see the advertising posters for the various pubs holding the events and Peter self styled himself as, 'Peter Martin - the biggest Tim in Newarthill'. I attended a fundraiser he was hosting in Thorniewoods Juniors social club at that time, he was showing films of the England v Scotland game of 1967 and the European Cup final of the same year. There was a Q and A and an interested party who clearly knew him, asked why he had changed his name? He explained it was because he felt his surname would lead to him being disadvantaged because of sectarianism. Interestingly, Peter Martin has been the recipient of two bans from Sellik Park by Peter Lawwell. On both occasions, it was because he had demanded ra Sellik Board invest at the necessary level to ensure Sellik were competitive among the top European clubs. Peter wanted to be seen to out-Yahoo Peter.

Goodfellas. Martin Scorsese's masterpiece, 'Goodfellas' has a particularly powerful scene when Tommy De Vito(Joe Pesci) is about to be elevated to the status of, 'Made Man'. He is replete in his Sunday best, about to enter the business front premises and remarks,"the books will be opened for a shoeshine boy". It's not just Tommy experiencing excitement, both his long term friends, Henry Hill( Ray Liotta) and Jimmy Conway(Robert De Niro) realise the potential benefits of being associated with a Made Man. They wait in a Diner for the confirmatory telephone call and in a ten second montage, emotions erupt ............. The ambience inside the PQ Gang Hut has been sombre of late. Prayers for Neil are not being heard, Peter has taken his hand off the tiller of Scottish football, and treasured dismembered member, Michael Stewart left Sellik TV in late Autumn. Party hats are discarded, the streamers and balloons hang limp amid the still, rancid air. However, today's announcement from the Chamber of Secrets has stimulated agitation. One of their own is about to be made up and all members can share the benefits. Sellik TV have announced changes in the line up, former Radio Snyde front man, Peter Martin is no longer doing commentary. Another Radio Snyde front man, Gerry McCulloch is moving from Hosting duties to providing commentary, and Gang Hut associate, Creepy Connie McLaughlin is the new Host of ra Sellik TV. Now, Connie rawking her inner buzz, will bring a new reality. Last month, Gerry told us the SPFL Premiership table was "fake news"; I don't know if Connie will be courageous enough to challenge Gerry's reality? I suspect her hardest decision will be to inform her brother, Chris that she has secured the gig. As the fireworks explode above PQ and the Gang Hut chorus Hail, Hail; spare a thought for calamitous Chris. Only last year, his squeeze, Eilidh Barbour left him for a Sky female golfing colleague. Apparently, Chris did not have feet big enough to fill the spikey shoes? Further, Chris's bi-weekly appointment with Peter's cheese will soon be confined to warm nostalgia. Let's hope Connie and Eilidh are not sharing a beard? It would be too much. As emotions erupt in the Gang Hut, those listening carefully will hear Chris screaming, 'it should have been me'.

It's over forty-five years since I sat in a Science classroom, but I remember nature hates a vacuum. It appears certain members of Sportscene/Sportsound and Sky Sports Scots regulars have filled the vacuum. Seriously, our Club should suggest Michael Stewart Referees our games on the pitch. Why wait for the deliberation and the complexities of TV schedules?

I agree on both counts. It could have been, should have been a red card. Further, Rangers games are being re-Refereed.

Indeed, Jim Denny was shot by the Yahoos during a reserve game at ra Piggery. I remember it was reported in the Rangers News. Jim had a spectacular debut in the 1971 Scottish Cup final replay. He debutised for Sandy Jardine and played very well. He made another several dozen appearances over the next several years without reaching those heights. In the Rangers - Player by Player book, Jim's biog' describes him as, "a player of medium height, medium pace, and medium ability". I suspect even Jim would be embarrassed by such over reaching praise? I would have happily shot Ally Scott.

I am an admitted antediluvian, I assume the emoji implies Billy Bowie plays in a string quartet? Violin or Viola?

We created three good opportunities in the first half, two went past the post, the other cleared the bar. Hagi scored a wonderful goal. Did the Saints keeper have a save to make this evening? Certainly, Greegs had a couple, one spectacular.

After Roofe's first half tackle on Davidson, I am wondering if a half time substitution might be the wise move? Itten through the middle? I suspect the Saints management team might be having heavy words with the Ref' at the break.

Rangers 2 St Johnstone 0 FGS : Hagi.

Storm Alfredo. These last several years, the Meteorological Offices in the UK, Ireland, and the Netherlands have an agreement to use the same name for large scale cyclonic wind storms. It alternates between male and female names, utilising 21 letters of the alphabet. Apparently, the result is far more people in these countries now take greater interest in the mostly unpredictable life expectancy of storms. Often, they begin out at sea, gathering energy before hitting landfall, where the kinetic energy begins to discharge. In Scottish football these last few years, we have a perma-storm that has become most predictable. It begins on a Parks team coach driven by Jimmy Bell, and is discharged regularly at Scottish football grounds. Watching the energy dissipate has become a familiar choreography, and such familiarity has bred contempt. It doesn't matter the provocation, it doesn't matter the circumstance, and it doesn't matter the prevailing conditions. No mitigation can be accepted. The select grouping that is Scottish football storm watchers much prefer it this way. The contemptuous NEVER tell us, certainly NEVER highlight Porteous wiping out Morelos in the first minute, or Scott McKenna running his studs down his calf, or Scott Brown slapping the back of his neck. The Columbian being pelted by coins and scalding drinks to a backdrop of painted bedsheets in guttural Spanish proclaiming his Mother to be a whore, are quickly glossed over. The storm watchers are impatient to get to the end of every Storm Alfredo because they know it ends with another episode of fast track justice, resulting in another multi-game ban. In many ways, BBC Scotland's Michael Stewart is the epitome of such particular observation, "I'm sick and tired of Morelos and the Rangers manager defending his actions". Steven Gerrard is correct, the Buffalo's actions at Easter Road were indefensible, he has been handed a further three match suspension. Similarly, Gerrard was correct to highlight consistency. Remember Dundee United's Ryan Edward's straight legged studding of Morelos at Ibrox? It resulted in a ten pence size puncture wound on the Columbian's upper thigh, no card awarded, no foul awarded either, game restarted with a drop ball. Michael Stewart completely agreed with the Referee's actions. It's about posterity with Mikey, he is playing his part to ensure nothing remains of Morelos injustice. The storm watchers know Alfie is a free hit. Irvine Welsh has not lived in Scotland for quarter of a century. Dublin, New York, Chicago, ..... etc are his homes. He returns to Caledonia's craggy majesty for drug dealer's funerals and the occasional Hibee game. He was a guest on David Tanner Hosted Hibs TV and gave more energy to the storm, he wanted Alfie macheted into pieces and distributed to the corners of the globe. He also referred to Morelos as, "a sticky bun". Step forward Stuart Cosgrove, big mate of Irvine. DrStu' does not refer to the sticky bun remark, again posterity. However, he is consistent with his 'not getting Rangers supporters standing on the sidelines raging and beeling'. Irivine's machete comment was, "comedic exaggeration" and Rangers supporters complaining to OffCom are stupid(for posterity) because Hibs TV broadcasts via the world wide web. Today, Scott Brown's flying elbow into the face of Killie's Tshibola has been cited for further consideration. Has Gerrard sparked a storm of consistency? Michael Stewart was first in, on last night's Sportscene, he noted Tshibola had to lower his head to receive Brown's elbow and the reality was, "Scott was just fending him off". Remember, Mikey was not sure Brown was worthy of a red card at Livi' either. I hope this is the start of a Club attempt to cap this particular storm. Posterity is a long time.

Last night's fixture at Rugby Park had a few instances requiring further examination. Broony's flying elbow into the face of Tshibola's face, Sellik's penalty, and Edouard's second goal looks clearly offside. During Sky's commentary, both Crocker and Walker dismissed Broony's transgression as nothing, Michael Stewart on Sportscene also agreed, "nothing there, ah mean look, Tshisbola has to lower his head to be hit". We await tomorrow's ruling on the incident, will there be consistency? Remarkably, Crocker, Walker, and Stewart appear to be singing from the same hymn sheet these days. All agreed Sellik's penalty was of the softest variety, but still a penalty. Apparently, the Killie keeper was, "stupid". interestingly, another point of agreement was the Linesman flagged for the penalty. Now, if this was Rangers, the Linesman's name would have been broadcast on both Sky and BBC(Sportsound and Sportscene). All agreed again on Edouard's goal being well offside. Again, the same Linesman failed to flag. Again, no name. Do any Gersnetters know the names of last night's officials(other than Clancy)?

Cosgrove has spontaneously combusted. The initial flicker began in his ego and flamed into his copious bile. I am rawking DrStu's Irvine Welsh explanation from yesterday and I am sure he'll understand when I employ, "Comedic Exaggeration"? I will be in attendance at PQ within the hour, selling cups of accelerant and bags of marshmallows - £5 a pop.

Gerry is Falls Road born and bred. He was a fairly long term Journo on the Herald, about a dozen years. Mostly, he covered the local government beat. At the last local elections, the SNP took control of Glasgow City Council for the first time. The Convenor, Susan Aitken immediately brought in Gerry Braiden as the SNP group's PRO. i believe at the time of the Fanzone battles between Rangers and the SNP, Gerry's remit was slightly changed to include being Aitken's personal PRO. Just in time as it happened during Aitken's husband getting council approval for a fully renovated council owned shop property at Trongate, to be opened as an Artists' Studio, with the peppercorn rent of £1 per year. Gerry is BIG pals with Stuart Cosgrove, Kevin McKenna, Angela Haggerty, ..... etc.

Dominic McKay's hobby is sailing. He has come a long way from the calm waters of Hogganfield Loch to a couple of trans-Atlantic jaunts. Apparently, his ambition is to circumcise the globe, well that's no skin off my nose. I think he should embark in June, I wish him fair winds. Preparing to Jibe Loyal RSC.

The day after Peter announces his intention to go, it's reassuring to see ra Sellik players reaffirm they had already gone. Neil holds the fort alone, pray for Neil.

Aesthetically Pleasing. It's a thing of beauty, easy on the eye, just aesthetically pleasing. Of course, I'm talking about Alfie's goal at Easter Road on Wednesday evening. It begins with Morelos a yard from the Hibs corner flag, he passes back up the line to an advancing Tav', and he lays off inside to Jack. Ryan looks up and sees a retreating Steve Davis and when the Northern Irishman receives the ball, he reverse passes to a waiting Aribo on the eighteen yard line. Joe is facing the ball, back to goal, his peripheral vision notes Alfie off to his left and he reverses the ball with one touch from the outside of his left foot. Morelos does not break stride, he steps on to the ball and sweeps past the Hibs keeper at his near post. The goal is the epitome of rapier like penetration. It has added lustre, three Hibees are left lying on the turf. Boy wonder, Ryan Porteous is on his arse, Hanlon is prostrate, and Marciano is getting there, having dived after the ball hits the net. Indeed, for those of us wearing blue tinted glasses, a worthy match winner of a goal. The PQ Gang Hut were initially too busy feasting on their oft served cerebrally hatred of all things Rangers. Morelos is the Devil and Irvine Welsh is the Lord of the Flies. Machetes are being wielded and hungry seagulls await at the four corners of the Leithers' globe ie Newhaven, Portobello, Muirhouse, and Port Seton. Pieces of 'Sticky Bun' are on the menu. Morelos is guilty, they all said it, several times. Who the fcuk is McGregor and what did he do? The goal passed under the radar, well apart from the bit where the guy that notched, should NOT have been on the pitch to score. Gersnetters will not be surprised to find one BBC Radio Scotland panelist, Michael Stewart returned the discussion on three different occasions to the Buff's winner. Immediately after the strike, Michael was unsure in being sure, "there's a mishit pass, it's a bit fortunate". At the end of the game, he returned with, "it's a mishit, a deflection off a Hibs player, and Morelos looked offside". He qualified by adding, "ah need to see it back". Thirty minutes on and he started, "I've not seen a replay, but that goal ........"? It was third time unlucky for Mikey, Big Dick stepped in and took him through it. Morelos was a yard and a half onside because of Porteous, there was no bobble nor deflection, to say otherwise would be to detract from a good goal. Mikey finished with, "as said, ah need to see it back". Sportscene arrived before midnight and again, Alfie was guilty. They also showed McGregor rag dolling Kamara on to the track, before standing on his calf. Chris Iwelumo found McGregor guilty too. Then, wee Jonathon, Shelley Kerr, and big Chris went on to pay true homage to an exquisite Morelos goal. Get in step Mikey?

You are correct, Clerr left her position last Friday. Her current employers are the Scottish Government. According to this morning's Daily Record(printers of ra Sellik View and match programme), a three person panel of former top Referees and players convened this morning to decide upon retrospective action for both Morelos and McGregor. Wouldn't it be simpler if Michael Stewart was given the job? He could begin Sportscene each week, announcing the punishment handed down to Morelos and Rangers. Then, he could explain his reasoning, utilising the national broadcaster's specific visual aides, and conclude by reaffirming his admiration of the Green Brigade(a big knowing wink straight to camera). Ah mean, Michael is doing most of the work, he should be remunerated for it.

Reference Dominic McKay. Anyone who has had the misfortune to regularly dip their toe in the toxic broth that is Phil McFournames output over the years, will know his Scottish football source is named, 'Rugger Chap'. Rugger Chap is renaissance man, like Phil he has eaten the boiled ham raw. There is an unequaled level of expertise from Analytical Accountant to Consultant on Company Law. Amid ra Sellik Twitteratti, there appears to be an acceptance that Peter should continue to exercise his green gingers on the Allotment. Jum Spence is very agitated about McKay's arrival, whereas Phil McFournames and the Hag' have acknowledged it, with no further comment. Of course, Old Aloysians will enjoy soft murmurings over this evening's port.

I note Pie and Bovril are now carrying the Hibs TV clip of Irvine Welsh saying what has been reported.

Actually, thinking about it; by the time our home game against Killie is concluded, we will have played 29 League fixtures. Twenty-nine is the magic number for the Null and Voiders, it's just over 75% and if Doncaster, Rod ra Fraud, and Shifty McGifty want to call it ................. ? Well, they have last season's precedent.

The initial post was two months past, it seems a log longer. We played 16 games in two months, won 14, drew one, and lost to St Mirren in the League Cup. The arithmetic equates to a game every four days. It has been a tough schedule and it sees us continuing to sit top of the Premiership, currently 23 points ahead of ra Sellik in second position. Specifically in January, we played five league fixtures winning four and drawing with 'Well sat Fir Park. The victories at Ibrox were 1-0(Sellik), and 5-0(Ross County). Results away were Aberdeen(1-2), Motherwell(1-1), and Hibs(0-1). Thus, 13 points from a possible 15. The Scottish Cup game against Cove Rangers has been postponed, the national cup competition may be another victim of Covid? February appears kinder, we have four league fixtures; two at home against both St Johnstone and Killie, and two away in the plastic worlds of Hamilton and Livi'. The other two games scheduled(home and away) involve Europa Cup tie against Royal Antwerp. At this moment, ra Sellik have three games in hand and are due to catch up and surpass us by the end of February. I believe if ra Sellik play all scheduled and rescheduled fixtures, they will have played one League game more than Rangers by the time we run out at Livi'? Of course, ra Sellik have been knocked out of the Europa, so have free midweeks. If our separated Brethren win all seven of their February league fixtures, gaining 21 points, then they will achieve 70 points. Again, currently we are on 72 points and any extrapolation of between zero and 12 points can be added to that total. I want to see us continue to lead the Premiership by at least 14 points and qualified for successive last 16 of the Europa Cup, by the end of the month. In the mean time, one game at a time.

Reading about Dundee United's financial woes prompted an investigation of the Twitter feed of the world's biggest Tangerine Terror fan, Jum Spence. We know Dundee is a three club city because Jum told us so in his Courier column. As Rectum of Dundee Uni' and remember he is Rectum to ALL undergraduates, Jum does post plenty about United, Dundee, and ra Sellik. Constantly, he feels the need to tell readers his older brother is a big Hoops supporter. Anyways, Jum has posted congratulations to his fellow United supporters for handing over a second tranche of £100,000 to the club, quite right too. We know Jum hates Rangers and I thought since he is Rectum to all, he must occasionally mention the famous. I remember the last time I looked, after our 1-2 victory at Tannadice, he was obsessed with Rangers, to be exact, obsessed with Alfredo and ensuring Compliance Officer action. Thus, it took 15 minutes to plough through the stuff mentioned above, his promotion of earners he is involved with ie Podcasts, mass timings, musings of the Pope, daily playlists, concern for police officers, promotion of Dundee culture, ................... etc; and finally I found it. It's a fortnight old and it's a screen shot of Motherwell's Twitter feed, a splash of claret and amber declaring the half time score at Fir Park, 'Well 1 - Rangers 0'. Jum leaves us on tender hooks, he doesn't even provide the full time result. Awe Jum, Rectum to all whilst exhibiting bitter emotions. Still, it keeps you warm in bed at night.

They should be. The club should ask both Welsh and Hibs TV for an apology. Black Lives Matter, even in Leith.

No mate. I've picked it up from the match thread on Pie and Bovril. Firstly, it's highlighted by a couple of St Mirren fans, they find it to be hilarious. Hibs fans come on and quote a Hibs Podcast, 'Down the Slope' - I have taken the quotes from them. The quotes are appearing on other Forums too.

Hibs TV? David Tanner was tonight's commentator, author Irvine Welsh was the guest. I think we must all accept that club TV stations are deliberately pro/biased in favour of the club mentioned in the title. However, I fear Hibs TV have crossed a line tonight in broadcasting Irvine Welsh's post match comments. Welsh has serious previous, he founded and named his punk rock band, 'Stairway 13'. He was vocalist, guitarist, and song writer. Tonight, his comments on Alfredo Morelos was thus : "Morelos should be chopped up with a machete and sent to all corners of the globe" He referred to Rangers as, "current Buns"; then paying no heed to irony said, "a great thing about closed doors football is no away fans, not needing to listen to that sectarian nonsense". we can ask what Humza says, what Broadcasting authorities say, what do the police say, what do Hibs say.................. ? More importantly, what do Rangers say?