26th of foot

John Souttar has signed a pre-contract agreement to join Rangers next season. Of course, he could join Rangers as early as this month, depending whether both Hearts and Rangers can achieve a mutually acceptable transfer fee? I have waited until today's announcement to comment upon BBC Scotland's Tom Anguish's take on the probability of Souttar joining Rangers. Last Sunday, Tom spent thirty minutes talking Scottish transfers this January window. Souttar's proposed leaving of Hearts took up 15-20 minutes of the chat. He talked of three English Championship sides that had expressed interest; Stoke City had the advantage of his Brother playing there, Sheffield United had recent experienced Premiership status for three years and, Blackburn Rovers are on the cusp of promotion. According to Tom, the remuneration on offer at all three English clubs would be excellent. Tom thought English Premiership clubs should be involved too, he lionised Souttar as a player, "he's young, will only get better and, he could could be sold on again to a top side in two, three years for serious money". He was reminded by Host, Kenny Macintyre that Rangers were also vying for his signature? Tom was annoyed, he waffled again about Souttar's serious potential then, "it's reported Rangers are showing an interest, why isn't it two Scottish clubs"? Kenny intervened, "are you talking about involvement from Celtic"? Tom gave vent to his anguish and frustration, "of course, Souttar suits their model, buy cheap, sell later for a higher fee. The player will benefit from regular European football and be in constant domestic competition for honours, ------- (silence for a couple of seconds, then the afterthought) ----- and of course Rangers can offer that too". The very thought of Rangers involvement had Tom fulminating, now he has signed; I suspect Souttar's potential will be quickly dialed down? Tom has got to get a grip of his anguish. John Souttar has become another player you will NOT be interviewing, simply because he has signed for Rangers.

Bairns and Dandies. After four weeks, Ernie had ridden his milk cart off into a setting sun. There was a battle between the New Seekers and Don McLean to succeed Bennie Hill as the UK's number one. No doubt boosted by the Coke advert, 'I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing' beat 'American Pie' to the top spot. The good old boys might have been drinking whisky and rye but the rest of the country was preparing warmer draughts as the National Union of Mineworkers(NUM) announced an official national strike, their first since 1926. Joe Gormley, Mick McGahey and, Arthur Scargill became both famous and notorious as they led a campaign for better conditions, a moratorium on pit closures and, an increase in pay. The Tory Government was headed by Prime Minister, Ted Heath and he announced a three part strategy to ensure power stations continued to receive supplies of coal. The RAF were ordered to set aside airfields to stock pile coal, Lord Wilberforce was instructed to lead an inquiry into Miners' pay and, COBRA was created to coordinate national and regional crisis. A wee aside, nearly forty years ago I spent a year as a Staff Officer preparing briefings for COBRA and COBRB. You never hear of the second one - Cabinet Office Briefing Room B(Bravo); because everyone wants to say they were briefed in Cabinet Office Briefing Room A(Alpha). The biting point on the strike would come in a month's time. More importantly, at Ibrox a crowd of 20,000 welcomed Falkirk on Saturday 8th January'72. The Chair of the Scottish Players Union, Alex Ferguson was included in the Bairns line up and, the former Ranger had already called upon all Trade Union members to support the official strike. The teams ran out, Rangers - McCloy, Jardine, Mathieson, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, Johnston, Stein, A MacDonald and, I McDonald. Falkirk - Rennie, Abel, Jones, Bruce, Markie, Gibson, Hoggan, Ferguson, Somner, Shirra and, Setterington. The People versus the Steeple was finished in ten minutes, Greig opened the scoring on the 2nd minute and Bomber Jackson added another from a corner on the ninth. Keeping warm was the main concern for the next eighty minutes. Just below the Derry(corner of the Copland and Sandy Jardine stands) a fire had been lit and several dozen fed cardboard boxes into the flames. The Polis dispersed the cold and extinguished the fire to a chorus of boos. Another former Ger in the Bairns ranks, Dennis Setterington took his cue, slipped a ball through for Shirra to knock past McCloy on the hour mark. It was an uneasy half-hour until young Iain McDonald came in off the wing, drifted past a couple of defenders to place the ball past the Falkirk Keeper in the last minute. As we filed out of the Stadium, the rumour was Wullie Henderson had endured an Albion Training ground spat with Willie Waddell. I am sure it's a false memory but I swear three of us stood waiting for the Tannochside RSC bus at the bottom of the lazy S, in the dark. Kick off at Pittodrie was 3 O'Clock, the bus departed before nine. The conversation was warming, Wullie had walked out of Ibrox two days before, vowing never to return. We reached Stonehaven after Noon, purvey was taken. The Scotch Broth and Steak Pie was the highlight of the day because the match was a hard watch. Thirty-five thousand crammed into the hill o'dung, the old high terrace ran the length of the pitch and the North Sea wind cut through everyone viewing second against third. Aberdeen - Geoghegan, G Murray, Hermiston, S Murray, Young, Buchan, Miller, Robb, Harper, Willoughby and, Graham. Rangers - McCloy, Jardine, Mathieson, Greig, D Johnstone, Smith, McLean, Johnston, Stein, A MacDonald and I McDonald. A number of running spats between the players culminated in Colin Stein being subbed, we put on Aberdonian Bomber Jackson to kick Joey Harper. The Ref' blew the final whistle and we were jealous of the ball being stretchered off, we had a mile walk over the Golf Course to our bus. Aberdeen had triumphed 2-1 at the start of the season in the Dryborough Cup final against ra Sellik. The game at Pittodrie attracted a crowd less than 25,000 in August, a zero-zero League fixture against the Famous in the second week of January drew an attendance of 11,000 more. Things don't change. The guy playing left back for the Dons, Jim Hermiston would leave Aberdeen a couple of years later. He joined the Polis and remarked he earned more Policing Pittodrie games as a Constable than he did as a player in a successful Dandies team. Joe Harper finished the season having scored 45 goals, Colin Stein achieved 25. Aberdeen would sell half-a-dozen of that side within a couple of years for nearly £500,000, bib big money back then. Finally, Alex Willoughby was a cousin of Jim Forrest and like Jim, a favourite of the Bears. He scored 39 goals in 75 appearances, a tremendous return for a midfielder He played with his cousin at Rangers, Aberdeen and, Hong Kong Rangers.

Fifty-four starts, 25 goals - another 20 appearances as a Sub', another 8 goals.

Michael Stewart will be contacting Irvine Welsh for the loan of his machete.

There's a Buzz about the Place? Sunday's Off the Ball was a Godsend, literarily. The guest again(and again ......) was Big Issue Editor, Paul McNamee. The opening and show running topic was Religion and Football. The stimulus for this was the lesson the previous Sunday conducted by the parish Priest, Father Jim Lawlor of the Immaculate Conception church in Maryhill. An Oxford graduate, Fr Jim took Sellik's recent signings of three Japanese players and framed them as, 'the Three Wise Men from the East'. The gift they bore was an excuse for Sellik to post season tour Japan for the next five years. It's no surprise that the exercise in resurrecting Fr Jim's image has been taken up by PQ. A couple of decades past, Fr Jim was parish priest of Our Lady of Fatima church in Dalmarnock. He told a sorry tale of regularly setting out from his sectarian daubed Presbytery to walk the five hundred yards of Springfield Road to Sellik Park to watch his green'n'grey hooped favourites. He could not negotiate this distance without the threat of assault. The then Chief Reporter of the Daily Record, Anna Smith was looking for a Priest on such a journey, Sellik needed him more. Glasgow City Council in conjunction with the club had submitted plans for redevelopment of the entire area surrounding Sellik Park. A non denominational school was demolished, three streets next to the ground were demolished, another dozen streets south of London Road were demolished, a pylon line relocated, a couple of factories demolished, an entire duel carriageway road was constructed, ........ etc. The Commonwealth Games spin off was planned to enable Sellik and an embattled Priest was a good bit of necessary leverage. Fr Jim went from the front page of the Record to Sellik View columnist. As an aside, Anna Smith now lives in the same spit in the wind coastal village as Phil McFournames. Anyways, as part of the Commonwealth Games Village plan and a declining congregation, Fr Jim's church in Springfield Road became a casualty and was similarly demolished. Fr Jim continued his journey, he was transferred to Penilee and his new charge was the parish of Our Lady and St George. Fr Jim became a lost soul and this time he was the focus of the front page of the Scottish Sun. It was Sunday evening and two elderly female parishioners were entering the church with intent to clean the interior. They were shocked by the scene confronting them, running into Sandwood Road screaming. Fr Jim was atop the altar, naked from the waist down, bouncing up and down upon a vibrating dildo. He was surrounded by an array of other sex toys. The Police arrived to find Jim continuing to enjoy the buzz, he was charged with Indecency and Lewd Behaviour. Fr Jim resigned his position from both church and Sellik View. He took to a Retreat for several months to re-find his faith through prayer. The Procurator Fiscal quietly dropped the charges and a reinvigorated Fr Jim took over at St Simon's in the west end, served on the Chaplaincy team at Barlinnie, followed by promotion to the Immaculate Conception, Maryhill. Fr Jim returned to literary ways, he penned a tome entitled, 'Cardinal Sin - Power, Abuse and, Truth in the Catholic Church'. A contribution very well received by the independence website, 'Bella Caledonia'. I was informed by a Publisher that Cardinal O'Brien was in a state of high dungeon on hearing of Fr Jim's intent on writing a book. Of course, the proffered titles including, 'A Second Coming', 'the Risen Lord' and, 'My Special Devotion to St Bilbo of the Blessed Dildo' did not help. Let's hope Fr Jim's resurrection achieves continued success.

RABid Pomposity. Increasingly, in Scotland we are becoming used to an application of Laws and rules that are applicable to the majority. However, there exists a growing elite of those connected to the raft of 130 Scottish Government Quangos that have other avenues open to them. Friends and family enjoy the benefits. Even information is something rationed to those and such as those, if it suits the authorities that be. We were told before Christmas that bringing forward the winter break was, "an application of common sense" by everyone clutching the provided script. At the end of the first week of the new year we have all viewed English football playing on as normal, attracting huge festive crowds. We might want to be comparative? Information is needed and the constant service provided by Prof' Jason Leitch in this regard throughout the first two lockdowns, would have been most welcome on the national broadcaster, BBC Scotland. Leitch did NOT appear and we were NOT told if he had even been invited. Has Humza withdrawn Leitch again? We don't know and we won't be told. We learned from Off the Ball that Tam and family celebrated New Year on the Isle of Arran and RAB Cosgrove was hospitalised. Arran has become PQ's Martha's Vineyard, lots of holiday homes but no one appears to be affected by the 13 CalMac cancelations of Ferry sailings from the island after Ne'erday. Maybe another service is available to those in the know? Similarly, games being played behind closed doors does not impinge upon members of the PQ Gang Hut. They don't even have to pay for live streams, they hit the canteen then sit down and view their teams courtesy of Beeb Engineers. PQ even altered their schedule, shortening RAB's show by an hour to allow him to attend St Johnstone's League Cup final victory. RAB utilised his National column during November to break a GMB strike, pointing out a national Union's funds included English, Welsh and, Irish monies. Clearly, he put his nationalism before his socialism, he is one of those and such as those; was his hospitalisation private? RAB lionised the healing powers of Amoxicillin on Saturday and then proved that such a collection of anti-bacterial drugs does NOT improve cerebral performance. Cowan was relating Lulu's testimony of her departed co-star in the 1967 film, 'To Sir with Love'. RAB barges in, "Aye, ah've seen loads of stuff written about Harry Belafonte". Cowan interrupts, "do you mean Sydney Pottier"? There are loud guffaws, anything to mask the fact that a broadcaster in his seventieth year has made a cnut of himself. Cowan then evokes Only Fools and Horses where Grandad and Rodney have an argument over the pronunciation of Pottier. RAB then gets the Grandad and Uncle Albert characters mixed up. Time to bring on the guest. It's John Barnes, late of the PQ parish. Currently, he is Killie TV's commentator. He is from Ayrshire and was the recipient of Jim McLean's right hook back in the day. RAB and Tam do the tired and lazy Rangers supporting accusations, then move on. Barnes is telling a story about working for BBC Scotland in Teblisi, Georgia nearly 20 years back. He tells of a frightening place, a nationalist Government out of control. He had left the press box at half time and could not re-enter because of, "one of Shevardnadze armed goons". RAB flashed his 70th year credentials again, "who was Shevardnadze playing with at the time"? Barnes explains he is talking about Georgia's then President, Eduard Shevardnadze. Increasing embarrassment is a no no for such a pompous prig, quickly he brought the show on to much more comfortable ground. He reminds us he was an Executive for Channel 4 and regales us with tales of ...................... heard it all a dozen times and, more. RAB was quite important. 'Walter - A Life in Football' came up and RAB clearly angered he was not involved wondered aloud about the reaction of the documentary's Director, Martin Conaghan when first told he had the gig, "Ah prefer to do Henrik". The Walter piece is decent although the lack of attention to Walter's second tenure at Rangers probably equates to BBC Scotland's determined start to queer relations with club and fans. The biggest advantage is Cosgrove's non involvement, see what he brought to the Mark Walters film? RAB is our Tony Blair, a property portfolio wielding, sense of entitlement holding, frequent story telling lazy bore. Arise Sir Stuart of Pacific Quay.

Nicola has put aside ten bob and, it's ring fenced.

Bearger, Welcome back; hopefully, you will post regularly in 2022? Bluebear's Prediction League would benefit from your participation.

First Footers and, "Jim fcuking Brogan". Our Ne'erday'72, first footers were the Maryhill Magyars, the Plastic Whistle, the Harry Wraggs, the ............... the Cuddly Toy of Scottish football, Partick Thistle. Half a century past, the Jags still had a working class support and the team could bite. They had defeated us 3-2 in the League's opening fixture at Firhill back on the first Saturday in September. As Davie McParland handed over the black bun and a dram at the foot of the marble staircase, he told Wullie Waddell they were in compensation for transfer of League Cup from our to their Trophy Room several weeks before. Forty thousand stood on the Stadium terraces awaiting the teams. My mates and I travelled to Ibrox that first of the first on the Tannochside RSC bus. The club was regarded in those days as, 'a Church Club'. Singing on the bus was confined to hymns, trips to Dundee and Aberdeen included a pre-match purvey where Grace was said and, the Committee wielded a big disciplinary stick. Ne'erday on the bus was different, the vast majority of members got on in a state of dehydration and sat down to pass the Ne'erday bottle. By the time the wheels reached Hamilton Road, the membership was largely inebriated again. The Bus Convenor interrupted the quiet revere by announcing any members identified as being on the Easter Road pitch on Christmas Day would be in front of the Committee. Thankfully, I had attended the Hibs game with my Old Man, two of the mates who gone on to the playing surface to celebrate Colin Stein's last minute winner; knew exuberance was NOT an acceptable excuse. Any type of exuberance on the Saviour's Day was not acceptable in Tannochside. Anyways, that was next Saturday's worry as the teams left the tunnel. Rangers - McCloy, Jardine, Denny, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, Johnson, Stein, A MacDonald and, I McDonald. Partick Thistle - Rough, Hansen, Forsyth, Glavin, Campbell, Strachan, McQuade, Gibson, Coulson, Rae and, Lawrie. Rangers began well, the young injury ravaged winger, McDonald was providing penetration. Thistle ended the half better and deservedly scored on the stroke of half time through Denis McQuade, a wonderful top corner header. The Subway Loyal was alive and kicking back in the day too, and I doubt half the 40,000 attendance was still in place when Rangers both equalised and grabbed another injury time winner? John Greig brought us level on the 85th minute, and substitute, Derek Johnstone nodded home at the back stick to make it 2-1. An excited bus on the way home burst into song, we were ready to meet Spaniards by the score and the chorus at the Olde Club(Tannochside Miners Welfare) was, 'Bring on the Celtic'. We were two days away from visiting Parkhead. My Old Man secured two Main Stand tickets for the game on the 3rd, I was the fifth squeezed into Dad's mate, Campbell's Austin Maxi. I was fifteen but considered a boay among four adults. The forward area of the Stand was mixed and the row immediately to our front had two middle aged couples, both men wore the favours of our separated brethren, the wives were staunch. The teams lined up, Celtic - Connaghan, Hay, Brogan, Dalglish, McNeill, Connelly, Johnstone, Lennox, Deans, Callaghan and, Hood. Rangers - McCloy, Jardine, Mathieson, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, Johnstone, Stein, MacDonald and, Johnston. The attendance was given as 70,0000 but these were the days of the biscuit tin, who can say? The game was typically frantic, surging from end to end. We looked comfortable until Harry Hood took control of the ball wide left of our penalty box, his ranging cross evaded everyone apart from the diminutive Jinky, who had to stoop to nod in at the back post on the 35th minute. The second half belonged to Rangers, we pushed them back and controlled the game. We had to wait until the 81st minute for Colin Stein's equaliser. The Lone Rangers latched on to a through ball, rode a tackle to get the shot away. Connaghan got a hand to the drive but the ball found the net. We were on to a third straight injury time winner, the remaining ten minutes were played in Celtic's box. In the first minute of time added on, McNeill took a free kick just outside his own box and found Harry Hood. As players ran past, Hood turned and curled a ball across our box, a late running Jim Brogan flicked his head and Karma had bitten us on the bum, again. In over 200 appearances, left back, Jim Brogan scored six goals, only one with his napper. The drama was immediately to our front, three of the four were in drunken slumber; however one of the females woke amid the eruption to ask, "who scored"? The awake chap punched the air screaming, "Jim Brogan". She replied, "Jim fcuking Brogan"? He lamped her as her mate awoke to remove her shoe and banjo him in turn with the heel. All four were removed by Glasgow's finest. We had played Celtic on four occasions in four months and lost all four. The following Friday brought news that ran interference with such an unpalatable fact, UEFA had drawn the ECWC quarter-finals. The eight teams remaining in the tournament were Rangers, Bayern Munich, Moscow Dynamo, Torino, Red Star Belgrade, Steau Bucharest, Dynamo Berlin and, Atvidabergs. The final club were the Swedish cup winners and clearly the weakest of the eight; however, they had knocked out the then current holders of the trophy, Chelsea in the last round. We drew Torino, daunting because a decade prior they had signed both Dennis Law and Joe Baker. We had eight weeks to prepare.

I believe his constituency is, 'Section B Broomfield'?

"Celtic have recently signed four Japanese players and sadly such provocative behaviour is both deliberate and not uncommon. The Drama Channels decision to begin transmission of all three series of Tenko today is anti-catholic and anti-Irish". Cathcart MSP, James Dornan expressed outrage at the Drama Channel's attempt to subjugate the peoples of Ireland. Today, Sky's Drama channel is beginning to broadcast all three series of the Japanese controlled internment camp drama set in Singapore during world war two. Civilian wives and children were separated from their Fathers and interned in a jungle camp where they faced appalling conditions including malnutrition, disease, violence and, death. The Imperial Japanese Army characters, Major Yamauchi, Captain Sato, Sgt Shinya and, Corporal Kasaki were characterised as, "a separate entity" by Kabuki Theatre spokesperson, Hitori no Otoko(One Guy). Tenko begins on Drama Channel today at 14.15 hrs. Celtic have been so far unavailable for comment but a Drama Channel spokesperson, Sum Cnut said, "Banzai".

That clown that plays centre half furra Sellik has his own calendar? Let me guess, December 7 is a picture of him and his four Japanese team mates inside the cockpit of a torpedo bomber; all shouting, 'Tora, Tora, Tora'?

A Divine Wind is about to blow through Scottish football.

I believe it is customary at this point to express an opinion to those Gersnetters still in possession of a lumb. May it aye reek. I suspect this will apply to Gersnetters from Ershur?

The compilers of the Guinness Book of Records for a couple of decades were the McWhirter brothers. Norris and Ross regularly appeared on a childrens TV programme called, 'Record Breakers'.Roy Castle was the host. In November 1975, the PIRA Active Service Unit known as, 'the Balcombe Street Gang' assassinated Ross McWhirter on the doorstep of his home. A heart attack claimed Norris in April'04. I don't know who the Green Brigade can get after to right this heinous wrong?

Fortunately, Charlie Ridiculous was a sublime footballer. Over the decades he has put quite an effort into maintaining his 'Ridiculous' soubriquet. Thirty-five years past, he was holidaying in Ibiza when on a night on the town he decided to steal a chip from a young female fellow tourist. Lori McElroy was an Undergraduate Law student from East Kilbride. She told him to move on because, "I am not impressed". Charlie was a Sellik superstar and slapped Lori. She returned and took out a civil action against Charlie. He was convicted on a charge of assault and fined £1,200 and ordered to pay costs. Twenty-odd years past the then retired Charlie took to Scotland on Sunday to tell us he was a Businessman and as such, "ah love a profit". He was in partnership with Jim Milligan, a friend of the notorious McGovern family. They had half-a-dozen bars in west, central Scotland operating under the name, 'Cafe Cini'. Essentially, wine bars with the added attraction of big breasted waitresses. In the same interview, Charlie waxed lyrical about his favourite all time film, 'Goodfellas' and how it was filled with sage business acumen. You may remember the character in the movie that owned the established restaurant? He could not get the wise guys to pay their bills and made representation to Paulie, the local Goodfella Boss. He offered a partnership and immediately the eatery was being utilised for ordering everything wholesale on credit. Fur coats, crates of spirits and, lobsters went through the front door and out the back to be sold on. Six months later the restaurant was bankrupt and the Joe Pesci character set it alight for insurance. Cafe Cini in Greenock burnt down, followed the next month with Cafe Cini in Union Street, Glasgow being closed for several months unpaid drinks deliveries. Charlie was in the High Court alone, he did not know the whereabouts his partner, Jim Milligan. The speculation was Jim had absconded to the Republic of Ireland and taken up partnerships with Slab and Mex' Murphy. Santa Ponca hosts a couple of bars where the Patrons are replete in ponchos and balaclavas. The PF took the view Charlie was a Patsy, he had lost his entire investment and was expected to come to an arrangement to cover outstanding debts. The McGovern family told Charlie to leave the country. SKY offered Charlie a platform for constant daft Bhoyness and Charlie has never disappointed.

Ra Sellik should inform the SPFL that a change of rules are required. Back in the 60s in deepest, darkest Lanarkshire we had a rule, 'nae toebashers'. A goal was only legitimate if the instep had been utilised. I am surprised Michael Stewart has not used Sportscene to highlight Alfredo's toebashing tendency. Surely, Morelos should be cited?

Rangers 2 St Mirren 0 FGS : Morelos.

......... but, but, but ................... "he's not that type of player". says Michael Stewart.

Please allow me to extend Festive Felicitations to all Gersnetters. On the Feast of Stephen, we should all be mindful of Shagger's secret to maintaining clean sheets, "no letting in any goals" and keep uppermost in our minds the essence of Scottish football, "Sporting Integrity". Wishing you all lot's of pudding and pie.

The Establishment Club. The SPFL Board aka Peter's Place Men decided upon the voting options available to the clubs in lieu of the onset of Covid variant, omicron. Neil Doncaster, Rod McKenzie and, Murdoch MacLennan provided the required analysis, the preferred options and, the get out of Jail free card(Dundee's John Nelm's spam folder) to the SPFL Board and assured Peter that ra Selllik's growing injury crisis was a most manageable problem. They were pursuing the common sense approach and were confident of the outcome. Sellik have cultivated a raft of politicos these last three - four decades, at one point the two Boards running the club contained a former Vice Governor of the Bank of England and three Cabinet Ministers. The Kerrydale Soup Kitchens were serving Vichyssoise and Bouillabaisse. Pottage dripping from his chops, Billy Bunter aka Ian Blackford furthered his Humble Crofter credentials, "the proposal to bring forward the footballing winter break is a sensible proposal". John Swinney was bad cop to Blackford's PC Murdoch, "the League Cup final may have been a super spreader and I urge football supporters to refrain from attending festive season fixtures". Look closely, the seemingly mixed message is the same message. The compliant Scotttish media was on message, the consensus among SPFL clubs was to utilise the winter break as a circuit breaker. Bringing it forward by a week was good sense, the only dissenting voice was as ever, Rangers. Of course, it was important last night's fixtures were completed and Boxing Day's matches be played in front of a maximum of 500 spectators at each game. Sellik could handle a Covid hamstrung St Mirren and bottom of the table St Johnstone, couldn't they? Pat Bonner explained on Sportsound, "every team will have played the same amount of games, no one will have an advantage". Last night's Sportsound was hosted by Big Dick; he was joined by Wullie Miller, Pat Bonner, Michael Stewart and, Alan Preston. Mikey thought the SPLFL decision was, "the sensible approach". Preston approved, "common sense has been applied" and, Wullie was comfortable being part of the majority, "it's only Rangers that see it another way". We were not informed of the other way but found out concurrently Aberdeen Chair, Dave Cormack was e-mailing Nicola appealing for a significant rise is allowed Boxing Day attendances. St Mirren Boss, Jim Goodwin was tasked with leading his lambs to ra Sellik slaughter and he was definitely off message. Strange, he had been photographed at Hampden on Sunday sitting in ra Sellik end with his son replete in green'n'grey scarf. Jim told us the SPFL had broken their own rules, bent over backwards to ensure the fixture went ahead, "I have been allowed to recall four teenagers from loan spells at Lowland League clubs but not the three more experienced loanees at League one and two clubs". He went on, "I have a bench with no Premier League experience whatsoever, there are several players in my dressing room meeting each other for the first time". After the match, when Karma prevailed the atmosphere on Sportsound was best described as 'choking'. Goodwin received some deserved plaudits but mostly there was an atmosphere of every shoulder being applied but Ange could not oblige. Big Dick left it to the end, "the League table looks like this, Rangers are six points ahead. Hibs move into the top six, Aberdeen drop out and St Johnstone are anchored at the foot". Everyone agreed the SPFL took the sensible approach but we never did find out what the other way entailed? As a BBC License Fee paying Rangers supporter, perhaps I can articulate : The Imminent Scottish Football Shutdown. Due to a new Covid strain called Omnibollocks which is unique to footballers, the SPFL look again to give into Sellik's demands and postpone all football until Sellik are happy. Symptoms of this new strain are pulled hamstrings from over exuberant goal celebrations against lesser opponents. Apparently playing AngeBall heightens risk of infection. Boffins claim this new strain first appeared at Sellik Park in 2008 after the club's post season tour of Japan. It may be an offshoot of Sportingintegrititus prevalent in ra Stade de Gadd at this time. It is not believed there is any connection to SeparateEntititus which has surfaced in connection with former employees spending time at Her Majesty's pleasure. Further, Sellik have proposed a contingency plan to the SPFL in case the league cannot be completed. Apparently, the true test of Champions is the ability to pass the ball more and it is accepted that points accrued is sectarian and anti-Irish. If Sellik's proposals are not endorsed completely, the club will make application to play in Palestine. Just saying like.

Apparently, the Referee was intent upon ten minutes injury time tonight in Paisley. However, he cut it to seven when he heard half-a-dozen of the St Mirren players had school tomorrow.

I note Sellik have issued a new statement on the 500 supporters allowed to attend the Stade de Gadd for the upcoming old firm match. Today, the Club has decided to award every season ticket holder who is NOT on the Sex Offenders Register a ticket for the game against Rangers. The 50 tickets remaining will be offered to Glasgow City Council.

I suspect it was Nicholas Fairbairn? Not Guilty after hooking a Polis, lubrication is involved.

Extending festive felicitations to an Edinburgh and Borders Bobby got you huckled, we demand more detail?