26th of foot

I saw the Stones at the Greens Playhouse in February'71 for nineteen shillings and sixpence(97.5pence). The tickets were sold in October'70, thus pre decimal. Billy Preston was the support and he was thrown in for free.

VAR succeeds in getting the majority of decisions correct. However, like the previous posts I agree it will remove spontaneity from the game. A dozen incidents of goal initially awarded, goes to a VAR check and, then cancelled; will condition supporters into different behaviour.

Lundstram was sound. However, I am going for Dame Shirley. Like her Glastonbury performance, Calvin strolled it at the back and overlapping on the flank in a big pair of Wellies. Hey Big Spender Loyal RSC.

Celtic 1 Rangers 2 FGS : Roofe.

"Diese Roundabout ist Wunderbar". The above is all Chris McLaughlin should have said on BBC Scotland's News bulletins on Friday. The Chief Sports Correspondent's five and a half year experience of Ibrox is adequately contained in those four words. Rangers qualify for the Europa Cup semi-finals and the Chief Sports Correspondent is nowhere to be seen and, he is not alone. On Thursday evening we had the the usual downbeat Big Dick in the PQ studio with both Richard Foster and Mark Hateley. They talked whilst watching the game on the telly. Still, PQ did not pull the plug at ten O'Clock as usual, the game went to extra time and they stuck with it. Big Dick finished with, "it's been a glory night for Rangers". The sentiment did not mature, by lunchtime Friday we were treated to another couple of Aberdonian Rangers haters, Tyrone Smith and Derek Rae. Tyrone is BBC Scotland's Senior Digital Broadcast Reporter for Sports Scotland and being based in Aberdeen, he was determined to expel the joy. He interviewed current ESPN Bundesliga Commentator, Derek Rae who began, "Rangers fans will be feeling quite confident in facing Leipzig because they defeated Dortmund but, they need to think again". You may remember Derek Rae's contribution during 2012? He took to BBC Scotland's website demanding all titles won by Rangers during the EBT years should be listed with an attached asterisk. All the usual PQ suspects regularly level accusations of failings to talk up the Scottish game. The English are delighted at West Ham's progress, there is genuine joy for Liverpool, Manchester City and, Leicester City; all achieving Euro semi-final status. It's good for the country. We know football is defined by rivalry and I know the fans of Everton, Man U and, our dearest separated brethren will be spitting venom at the very thought of their rivals good European fortune. However, when Progres Niederkorn knocked Rangers out, the stick of choice used to beat us, was the Coefficient. They lined up to say we let the country down. Talking of the country, what has the First Minister said about the football club in her constituency that has competed in nearly 70 Euro games these last four years and almost single handedly dragged the national coefficient to ninth in the Euro table? Nicola has said as much as Chris McLaughlin. The SNP has 108 MPs and MSPs and, not one supports Rangers. A true reflection of Scottish life? BBC Scotland continually echo a refrain, "we want to hear from Rangers supporters" and, Tyrone Smith based in Aberdeen could not even bring himself to contact the Granite City RSC. Derek Rae's lionising of Leipzig was not for Rangers supporters, it was a comfort blanket assuring the Rangers haters that the nightmare will soon be over. Fair's fair, Tom Anguish has a decent piece on the website but he doesn't want us dreaming too much because, "Celtic are a better side than Rangers". Tom doesn't say if Bodo Glimt are better than Dortmund, Red Star or, Bragga. This is new, modern Scotland and George Orwell's Dream Police are just getting interested. RAB Cosgrove is calling for a Posse. I am going to end this with a mention of 'A View from the Terrace'. The show is in it's third series and I enjoy it's eclectic look upon Scottish football. It covers everything from Ladies football on Orkney to the state of amateur football on Vatersay and Eriskay. A long shot of two teams in extended line walking the island pitch to clear it of sheep sh1t pre match, is evocative. I criticised the show for not mentioning Rangers triumph over Dortmund and, I think they rectified it by hosting a discussion on the next show predicated on Rangers victory being the finest result of any Scots club in a generation? Eulogising Stenhousemuir's efforts in feeding the local community during a pandemic is most worthy and the effort in telling the story should be applauded. Why did the show not extend the same effort to a fellow Scots club attempting to scale the dizzy heights of Euro football? Our views may be different but, we stand on the same terrace.

In near sixty years of watching Rangers, a young player - new signing gets five games. Game one - a decent prospect, needs more games at this level. Game two - great player, knows the weight of the jersey. Game three - future Rangers and Scotland Skipper. Game four - been over played, would benefit from several weeks in the reserves. Game five - never Rangers class, get him to fcuk.

Rangers 3 Braga 1 FGS : Roofe.

Thirty-five minutes into the game, Sky put up a stat' highlighting the lack of involvement of the St Boo front three, particularly Eamon Brophy - only five touches. I like Sakala, brings pace, urgency, busy, always available and, he scored a wonderful winning goal against Real Madrid. I suspect Sky could have put up a stat' showing he had fewer touches than Brophy? Why can't we find him, exploit that pace by slipping him in? I think he could be important on Thursday evening if we are to be successful.

St Mirren 1 Rangers 3 FGS : Roofe.

Situation no change. During my professional life the appearance of an Intelligence Officer at an O Group standing front and centre and proclaiming, "situation no change" always provoked a mixed reaction. Over a period of 24 hours everything changes, the moon state, first and last light, ............. indirect fire is heavier, ..... etc. I suspect we all have the capacity to get used to anything? As Rangers supporters we are numb and thus immune to the service provided by Pacific Quay. Alasdair Lamont was sent off to Braga to tell of volcanic craters, the sequel to Belgrade's tunnel of hate. Big Dick hosted, Liam McLeod commentated and, Mark Hateley provided colour; all from a BBC Scotland studio. It was the same last Sunday, Big Dick et al including the Blarney Bhoys squeezed into another-the same PQ studio amid the party streamers and balloons. They can hear the Champions League music, the soothing imagery of Zadok the Priest placing comforting hands on all and, realising they would all get to travel, following their beloved Sellik carrying the Scottish standard next season. Tom Anguish eulogised Tom Rogic, "he took that goal so well, it was a half volley, executed beautifully then stayed in the moment with an understated celebration, a determined man in the moment". Bodo Glimt is a distant, uncomfortable memory. More no change emanated from Chris McLaughlin. He took to the grassy knoll to inform us, "Sunday was a bad day for Rangers". We were reminded of the array of quarter and half bottles lined up on the Broomloan wall and, Chris nodded the large cranium like a Thunderbird puppet. Just a wee inquiry, anyone ever seen Chris McLaughlin and EIS Chairman, Larry Flanagan in the same room at the same time? The Andersons did a ton of those TV puppet shows over the decades, Supercar, Stingray, Thunderbirds, ....... etc; both Chris and Larry share the same Father, Geppetto. Chris saw the opportunity and duly exploited the bad day further. His piece on BBC Scotland's website was a plea to view Borussia Dortmund's anti-semitism work. He tied this into Scottish Government Minister, Maree Todd who parroted First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon's statement of disgust with, "thuggish Rangers fans". Chris labelled Sunday, "a day of Rangers hate" Tom Anguish preferred, "an ugly day" and, Big Dick opined, "a day Rangers would prefer to forget". It's amazing the things that can be clearly seen from within a PQ studio and the grassy knoll. I hereby demand the grassy knoll is to be known from now on as, 'Tracey Island' - in homage to Geppetto's creation continuing presence. A State of Emergency! RAB Cosgrove has not made any comment on our last two games because he left with family on Old Firm weekend, to visit his in-Laws in Sri Lanka. We know due to Edi Stark's interview that RAB has a villa with infinity swimming pool on the island. It is good to hear a declared Bankrupt can recover? Anyways, the day RAB arrived Sri Lanka declared a state of emergency. Army on the streets monitoring demonstrators protesting standards of life and ever decreasing conditions of employment. RAB relaxing on his inflatable on the infinity will sling them a rubber ear. It's only two months past RAB utilised his National column to condemn Glasgow's bin workers(Cleansing Workforce) for deliberately making Scotland look bad during COP 26. He revealed that the Glasgow Bin workers Union -the GMB leading the Strike to improve workers conditions in the First Minister's constituency were funded by the same monies that financed Better Together. Imagine, a Trade Union adhering to Robert Tressel's Oblong of Socialism - 'the plight of bricklayer is the same in Dundee as it is in Derby, Denby and, Derry'? Back to that inflatable in the infinity pool, RAB can relax knowing the fee from the National will cover the price of a new pool filter. A man in his 70th year allowing his Nationalism to trump his so-called Socialism, trashing the funding of Cleansing workers because he could not handle their papier mache big rat was named, 'Nicola'. Govanhill has a very real problem with rats, should Nicola declare a state of emergency? No, this is new, modern Scotland and in land where Ferries have painted on windows and cardboard funnels, the FM will propose a Rat Quango. RAB is perfect to serve, he has a considerable history of coining it in for serving on Quangos. Some would say he has made a career out of it. Unity is strength or as RAB prefers, keep trashing the Workers to fund your standard of living.

Braga 2 Rangers 2 FGS : Sakala.

A Twist in the Tail(of the Bank) and an Explosion. I remained hors de combat although the crutch had been slung. I was told by the Hairmyers Physio to bathe my chipped bone ankle in sea water? Apparently, emptying the salt shaker into a bucket did not replicate. Anyways, the bucket was required for another purpose after Morton's visit to Ibrox. The Pipes and Drums and Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards had released their take on Amazing Grace and, it was heading for number one like a bullet. The majority of the 18,000 crowd at Ibrox were looking to give Bomber Jackson the bullet when the Referee blew the final whistle. It had begun so well, Rangers ran out - McCloy, Denny, Mathieson, Conn, Jackson, Smith, Penman, D Johnstone, Stein, A MacDonald and, I MacDonald. Morton lined up - Sorensen, Shevlane, Laughton, Lumsden, Anderson, Rankin, Gillies, Mason, Chalmers, Murphy and, Armstrong. There were four changes in the Rangers team but it was not enough. I remember Eric Sorensen having a good game and Joe Mason strolling it in midfield. Bomber nodded in on the stroke of half time but, the second period saw Chalmers equalise and the game culminated with Bomber once again heading into the same net as his first. An OG had seen us slump to a 1-2 defeat. Adverse results after Euro games is nothing new. There was no time for lament, the Scottish Cup quarter-final replay against Motherwell was up on Monday evening at Ibrox. On the way to the match, a heated discussion dominated the Tannochside RSC bus, On Wednesday last, 75,000 had crowded into the Stadium for the visit of Torino, 18,000 trapped for Morton on Saturday and, now Monday saw an overcrowded charabanc heading to augment another bumper Ibrox attendance. Officially, it was given as 50,000 plus. An important point was missing from the usual loyal supporters as opposed to part timers argument, three day weeks had just concluded and attending football three times in a week was not every family's priority. Attractive games and opposition was the deciding factor. Rangers took to the field - McCloy, Jardine, Mathieson, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, D Johnstone, Stein, MacDonald and, Johnston. Motherwell were also unchanged from the 2-2 draw at Fir Park nine days before - Fallon, Muir, Whiteford, Forsyth, McCallum, Watson, Campbell, McInally, McCabe, Lawson and, Heron. The inconsistency of this Rangers side could in part be summarised as quick to take action but no so quick to listen. The 'Well triangle of Jim McCabe, Sammy Campbell and, Kirkie Lawson had opened Rangers up twice before at both League and Scottish Cup fixtures at Fir Park in the last month, they did it again in the first minute at Ibrox. A through ball from a quick McCabe - Campbell interchange, saw Lawson dinking McCloy for the opener. Seven minutes later Rangers forced a corner and John Fallon arrived at the party. A decade at Sellik ensured Fallon was a clear favourite among the Rangers support, his Goalkeeping errors had turned a number of games from losses into draws and, from draws into victories. Fallon punched the corner into the net. Colin Stein was grateful for a hesitant Fallon five minutes after our equaliser, knocking the ball passed 'well's stopper for number two. A quick ripple fire start had seen three goals, it was followed by an explosion. A Calor gas bottle within the Enclosure Pie Stall exploded and both girl workers were injured, one quite seriously. One week prior, the Provisional IRA had detonated a car bomb in Donegal Street, Belfast; murdering seven and injuring 148. By half time, Ibrox was in no doubt, the IRA had bombed the Stadium. The slow to listen thing struck again just after the hour mark, the claret and amber triumvirate struck again. The arch poacher, Lawson deservedly equalised and the next 15 minutes became cat and mouse. The large crowd was anxious and only partly settled by a Tommy McLean snapshot which beat the Keeper with 15minutes remaining. Colin Stein finished the contest in the 82nd minute and again, John Fallon was partly at fault. Delight at Fallon's performance evaporated when it came through his former club had won their replay at Tynecastle 0-1. The semi-final draw was conducted the next day and Sellik secured Killie, we got Eddie Turnbull's Hibs. During the month of April'72, we would face a European Cup Winners Cup semi-final against Bayern Munich and a Scottish Cup semi against Edinburgh's green half, as it turned out four sap draining games and something had to give? Five League fixtures had to be played in the same month. Bayern was all that mattered and my Old Man confirmed it when he informed me he had booked up to attend Munich. I was not included because my O' Grades began during the month and he did not want to interrupt my studies. I was furious, Bayern was all that mattered.

Well done you.

Stoke City?

"This game is not Shrouded in Mystery". Above was the Scottish Daily Express back page headline on the morning of the match, it went further stating, "Rangers will attack, Torino will defend". The real deal mystery among supporters was whether the real deal Rangers would turn up? The Turin Shroud was no mystery, it is a 14th century forgery but, hey it attracts a lot of tourists. The second leg of a ECWC quarter-final was a huge attraction, an attendance of 60,000 plus was expected and no one was interested in worshipping false Gods. Although it must be said, if Graven Image wore a blue jersey with number nine on his back and put one in the Italian pokey, he would have been cheered to the echo. The official crowd number was given as 65,000, anyone standing on the terracing would swear to another ten-twelve thousand on that number. Remember, the vast majority of under 15s were lifted over the turnstiles and thus not included in the official attendance. Ibrox was a different animal back in the day, a huge oval Stadium with a broad black ash track - a legacy of Bill Struth's beloved, 'Rangers Sports' Day'. The Archibald Leitch designed Main Stand stood magnificently surrounding on all sides by high terraces. The proximity to the then Abbotsinch Airport ensured low mounted floodlights and the track hosted in excess of 100 light blue painted Disabled Cars, all facing the pitch. Only three-quarters of the ground was covered. Noise was mostly generated by the Derry, situated at the now juncture of the Copland Road and the Sandy Jardine Stands. The old Main Stand generated a unique sound, twelve thousand pairs of feet stamping on the wooden floors projected an eerie rattle. Such encouragement greeted Rangers from the tunnel - McCloy, Jardine, Mathieson, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, D Johnstone, Stein, MacDonald and, Johnston. Torino, again in all white emerged - Castellini, Lombardo, Fossati, Puia, Cereser, Ferrini, Luppi, Crevelli, Bui, Rampanti and, Toschi. The Herald reported, "From the start Rangers were looking for goals as if the world would end at half-time". Looking and achieving are two different things. Rangers began brightly, the support appreciated the vigour and purpose but lamented the lack of guile. The first period contained two points of report, a John Greig snapshot had Castellini scrambling and an Italian counter attack saw Bui slip a cute ball through to Toschi whose shot beat McCloy. A huge exhalation followed as the ball came off the post. Torino looked a supremely fit side and began to exhibit an increasing arrogance. Fortunately, Dave Smith had the same attitude, intercepting any attacks before they amounted to something more serious. The half-time conversations were mostly based upon our ability to hold to a nil-nil, allowing us to progress on away goals. The vast majority of worries evaporated within a minute of the restart, Smith checked, passed to McLean and Tam was off on a 60 yard mazy. A couple of yards short of the bye-line, he slung over a low cross. Torino's left back, Fossati lunged to no avail and both centre backs faced their own goal as the ball curled outward, towards an on rushing MacDonald at the back post. Doddie met the ball with his left peg, it hit the underside of the diving Keeper and bounded high into the net. The newspapers agreed MacDonald had "bundled the ball" into the rigging. Ibrox erupted and the Skipper began to gesticulate wildly. The crowd wanted a confirming second, Greig demanded a more mature approach. Torino made a couple of substitutions, Rossi replaced Fossati and Barberes came on for Bui. The Italians came further forward but were wary of Bud Johnston's pace, he kept them honest. Rangers enjoyed possession knowing Dave Smith was always spare to take a final pass. The Aberdonian was assured and he marshalled both defence and midfield, often barking at a straying MacDonald. Doddie loved a tackle. The last ten minutes were excruciating, Torino were having a go. The final whistle was a relief, every Ranger had ran a most emotional race. The Italian press were fierce in their criticism of Torino boss, Giagnoni; La Stampa spread it further, claiming both Turin clubs had lost to British opposition because they had failed to utilise their better players. Juve had omitted three regulars from their line up at Molineux whereas Torino had not allowed Mozzini, Zecchin, Pulici and, Sala to kick a ball at Ibrox. The following Sunday saw the Turin Derby, Torino winning 2-1 and, it appeared the omissions listed had more parochial reasoning? Whatever the reason, Rangers 2-1 victory over Torino on aggregate was tellingly significant. The Friday afternoon draw for the semi-finals had Rangers, Moscow Dynamo, Bayern Munich and, Berlin Dynamo(East Germany) in the hat. The common acceptance was any of the Dynamos, Bayern could wait until the final. The West Germans were first out, follow followed by Rangers. In eleven short days we were due in Bavaria to face the well kent Franz Beckenbauer, Gerd Muller, Paul Breitner, Uli Hoeness, Sepp Maier, ........................ They had only dismissed ur from European football on three occasions in the last five years, including a one nil loss after extra time in the 1967 European Cup Winners Cup final in Nuremberg. I do not intend this next true story to be offensive to any of our German posters. The next day we faced Morton at Ibrox and all discussion on the Tannochside RSC supporters bus was Bayern Munich. The overwhelming consensus was, 'we're fcuked'. One of our older members had served on HMS Suffolk as a Petty Officer during WW2. He stood up in great annoyance and shouted his part during the war concluding, the Suffolk was a Cruiser completely outgunned by the Battleship, Bismark, "we engaged salvo for salvo and we sunk the Bismark". He was cheered and told to stay off the rum ration.

We started well, so well. High pressing was forcing misplaced passes, mistakes and, half-a-dozen professional fouls. We were rewarded with a goal. Sellik had their first foray forward in the seventh minute, a McGregor run yielded considerable penetration, a couple of shots in two seconds saw the latter find our net. From the eighth minute, Rangers slowly deflated. I thought Sellik stood off us in the second period. They allowed us the ball and invited us on to them, playing for the quick counter attack. I think we created two opportunities, a Sakala shot brought a diving save from Hart and, a flashing near post attempt by Roofe. There's the match, I don't think Sellik had to try too hard? Fcuk me, they even brought on Anthony Ralston.

Rangers 2 Sellik 1 FGS : Roofe.

Perth Saints and Well Sinners. I was betwixt and between. On Saturdays, I wanted to emulate Alfie Conn but on Sundays it was Al Green who took me to church. Albert Greene was pure Arkansas gospel and I had paid my local record shopkeeper in Cadzow Street, Hamilton an extra quid for an import of an album entitled, 'Green is Blues'. Hi Records was Willie Mitchell's own label and the single, 'Tired of Being Alone' was attached to the album sleeve. The record shop owner told me to keep the single because, "nobody listens to this pysh". Jethro Tull had the UK number one album and I received further advice, "this is what's happening". Ian Anderson was not my type of flautist. Al and Alfie would have to wait, I played for my school in East Kilbride and took a solid flat of the boot, nylon studs showing on my right ankle. A couple of hours later, I started for Fir Park Boys' Club in Motherwell. I was subbed at half time, attended Hairmyers for an X-Ray and, was told my ankle bone had been chipped. I missed Alfie at Ibrox that afternoon against St Johnstone. Sandy Jardine and Colin Stein also missed out, returning from Turin with ankle injuries. They needed Al Green on prescription. In front of 25,000, Rangers fielded - McCloy, Denny, Mathieson, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, Conn, D Johnstone, Johnston, I MacDonald. St Johnstone - Robertson, Lambie, Coburn, Rennie, Gordon, Argue, Leslie, Rooney, Pearson, Connolly and, Fraser. Big DJ notched in the 39th minute and Tommy McLean completed the scoring on the hour mark, for a comfortable 2-nil victory. Monday morning arrived and my ankle had ballooned. I was back at the Accident and Emergency where a soft cast was applied. I was given a wooden crutch and took a ton of playground abuse. Jardine and Stein got it worse, both were selected for the Scottish League fixture at Ayrsome Park, Middlesbrough against the English League midweek. Sandy was named Skipper and led a team of cobalt blue jerseys, including Stein on to a most heavy Teeside pitch. Colin opened the scoring in a 3-2 defeat for the Scots. The Blades Tony Currie glided across the surface scoring a double and setting up Man City's Doyle for the winner. Saturday arrived and we were due at Fir Park for the Scottish Cup quarter-final. I was swinging on a crutch, both Jardine and, Stein faced late fitness tests. All three of us made the game. Obviously, I had not played for Motherwell's official youth club(no separate entity) that day and was thus denied my usual place in the Enclosure and denied my free pie and bovril. I paid into the terracing and in a strenuous effort to secure a view of the pitch amid a bumper 30,000 attendance, I found myself leaning on my support on top of the pie hut roof. I had climbed with the aid of the floodlight pylon. Had Al Green ever suffered tis much for his art? Motherwell ran out - Fallon, Muir, Whiteford, Forsyth, McCallum, Watson, Campbell, McInally, McCabe, Lawson and, Heron. Rangers took to the sunshine - McCloy, Jardine, Mathieson, Greig, Jackson, Smith, McLean, D Johnstone, Stein, MacDonald, and, Johnston. I have stated before that Bobby Hewitt's 'Well side were well balanced and as Jock Wallace oft' said, they had a ton of character. Lawson was a poacher, McInally is Alan(Rambo)'s auld man and a real handful and, the football came from Jim McCabe and Sammy Campbell. The steel in the Steelmen was provided by Tam Forsyth, Jumbo Muir and, Whiteford. The weak point was former Sellik Keeper, John Fallon and he would prove pivotal in the tie. The first half was calm, we emulated the Turin approach. We retained possession comfortably, creating a few opportunities and, when Doddie planted the ball into the net on the 33rd minute it was no surprise. There were eight of us on the pie stall flat roof and we drank in the spring sunshine one zip in the lead at half time. There existed a phenomenon in Scottish football in those days, half-time saw a migration from one end to the other, a determination to be behind the goal your team was shooting into. Another half-dozen joined us roof dwellers. First period Rangers became increasingly unrecognisable as the second period progressed. Jim McCabe found Brian Heron rushing beyond a clearly labouring Sandy Jardine and, the former Ranger calmly finished a minute before the hour. The game had changed, 'Well were all over us like a rash. We could not stop the crosses into our box and when the diminutive Northern Ireland internationalist, Sammy Campbell killed another desperate clearance and stroked it past a slow to get down McCloy, we all chorussed where was Billy Mathieson? Seventeen minutes to go and we were out the Cup. An increasingly relevant point of discussion was the stability of our defence as opposed the stability of the pie stall roof. We were twenty yards from the exit and another dozen and a half were sharing our uninterrupted vista. The Police vacated and closed the eatery, stopped any further incursions and, furiously demanded we all get down. A Kirky Lawson effort was parried by the gas metre, Dave Smith cleared left and Johnston was off and running into a Bobby Watson body check. The Referee awarded the free kick, a touch off to Mathieson and he decided to turn back from a challenge but quickly turned the other way and got off a high floaty cross to the back stick. There were six minutes remaining when Colin Stein rose to head the ball back across John Fallon into the 'Well net. The equaliser was the last I saw, the ensuing mayhem caused the pie stall to collapse. The result was a dozen injuries, some serious breakages but fortunately nothing near fatal. I was hanging on to to a pylon cross support minus my crutch. The replay at Ibrox was nine days away, in between we had the return leg of the European Cup Winners Cup quarter-final and a league fixture at Ibrox against Morton. In those two games, another pie stall would be demolished and Colin Jackson would notch an unfortunate double. But hey, as Al Green sang, 'Let's stay Together'.

You are so right mate. Ange already has one hand on the Rolf Harris cup.

Aw fcuk no, I have just finished reading Derek MacKay's big bumper Ladybird book on Ferry Construction and the result is I have booked two berths on the Cal Mac Glasgow - Sydney service. It's a most convincing read although I am of the opinion there are too many photographs of uniformed schoolboys? I suspect the former Scottish Government Minister is a big fan of Aussie rawk legends, ACDC? Does this mean I have to cancel my Ferry bookings?

Playing Mr Toad and what does the IRA mean to you? It's been over two years but, I am happy to say I have returned to the pied a terre amid the Mallorquin hills. My morning repast is sobrasada picante with a glass of chilled sherry. The locals will tell you sobrasada is a sausage made with every part of the pig, including the squeal. Before departing Caledonia's craggy majesty, I heard RAB Cosgrove squealing like the proverbial stuck. Such thin skins these days within PQ. The Scots football website, 'Pie and Bovril' have been running a thread lamenting 'Off the Ball' is now in it's 28th year and wondering what has to occur for RAB and Cowan to be put out to pasture? At the height of his Rangers Tax Case Blog participation, Pie and Bovril were RAB's comfort blanket. He was amplifying their every demand for Rangers to be given no new way back into Scottish football. RAB shamelessly promoted his tenuous Donegal connections, utilising his Maternal grandmother's name, 'Sarah Leyden' as his Username. Sarah left Donegal aged two years. RAB's reaction to Pie and Bovril wondering aloud as to a new, more appropriate football show on Auntie's frequency, was that of a two year old. Live on air, he extended an invitation to, "any two Pie and Bovril clowns to come on and defend their suggestions"? RAB much prefers his usual role - PQ's Mr Establishment as befitting the young Turk currently in his 70th year. Seamlessly, often he morphs into Mr Toad, sticking his tongue so far up the arse of his superior, it must be increasingly difficult for Director General, Steven Carson to walk unaided. Only last week he told of spotting Carson's early potential whilst previewing his 2004 documentary, 'Who Kidnapped Shergar'? RAB provided a synopsis, "a poorly performing cross-border active service unit of the IRA were heavily involved in Shergar's disappearance". Apparently, Steve's interpretation of world class horse flesh becoming Kenomeat is unmissable. If you are not saddle sore, you can gallop after RAB's latest fantasy. Last Sunday, he told us he was from Galway. A mention of Lesley Riddoch's Podcast with Arab supporting, Pat Joyce had RAB proclaiming, "Paddy Joyce, Aye Paddy Joyce, he's the same as me, we're from Galway". This is akin to Phil McFournames batshittery, a Social Worker Chairing his local YoungNats grouping in Baillieston and insisting on them campaigning under the soubriquet, 'the Baillieston Provos'. RAB tongues his Bosses balls, then proceeds in the delight of licking his own, followed by a BIG wet slurp of his arse. RAB's own Podcast with Eamonn O'Neill last broadcast on the 17th March. The bit firmly between his teeth and RAB spurred the 'mare on PQ street. Under the discussion title, 'Perfect Cousin' he told the tale of his full cousin, Philip Geddes Christmas shopping at Harrods on December 17, 1983. He was present in the store with his wife and after collecting family gifts they separated to purchase each other's present. The IRA detonated the vehicle bomb murdering six folks and injuring ninety. Philip Geddes perished in the blast. The Philip Geddes Memorial Lecture is presented every year on the future of Journalism and Oxford University hands out annual prizes in his name. I wonder if RAB has ever presented the lecture? It is a particularly relevant question to pose, given RAB's outpourings on the IRA murder of another journalist three years past, Lyra McKee. RAB claimed live on BBC Radio Scotland that the authorities would need to find a new classification for McKee's demise then weekly offered, "ah think she was caught in crossfire"? Now, the Lyra McKee case remains live and there has been arrests. We can say with certain that seven .22 rounds were fired from a recovered pistol. All those rounds were aimed at the PSNI line, Lyra McKee was standing behind a Land Rover, behind the PSNI line. I am sure RAB will reflect on the definition of crossfire? I arrived where the sunshine spends the winter on Sunday evening and have eaten sobrasada every day. Thus, I claim more right to be Malloquin than RAB's continuing ridiculous claims to be Irish. I note on Pie and Bovril they indulged in Cosgrove Bingo, if you stated the correct time when he first mentions, 'Perth", you win. Of course, we are all asking where in Ireland is Perth? Better was the P and B contributor who had '12.07' as the first utterance only to be trumped by another inquiring, "12.07, is the noon news six minutes long"?

Does anybody know anywhere in the Dens Park vicinity the Manager can purchase hauf-a-pun of energy?

Dundee 1 Rangers 2 FGS : Morelos.

From the Tunnel of Hate to the Grassy Knoll. PQ have changed tact, from continuing as if a Scottish Club(Rangers) had not knocked out the German club(Borussia Dortmund) second in the Bundesliga in European competition to now, attempting to grab a piece of the action. BBC Scotland's preview of the Red Star Belgrade tie contained the revelation, "Red Star are privately pleased to be paired with Rangers". Their preview of last evening's game in Belgrade was Alasdair Lamont walking, "the tunnel of hate" at the Marakana stadium. Two hundred and fifty metres of graffiti is intended to be claustrophobic and intimidating, big Al' just pulled his coat and scarf closer. Game coverage was Big Dick sat in the PQ studio, with Richard Foster, Mark Hately and, Leanne Crichton. Liam McLeod commentated from the studio whilst watching the BT Sport live feed. Apparently, "Rangers have rode their luck"? we all have a view, I do not think any team can progress to the last eight of a European trophy without a bit of luck. Big Dick said it often enough to know it was his comfort blanket and he was clinging on. Anyways, Big Dick ended with, "Rangers have a maximum of fifteen games left in the season if they go all the way in each of the three competitions they are participating in". Okay, we'll keep riding the luck, Big Dick can keep riding Dolly. BBC Scotland's last news bulletin carried a twenty second clip showing all three goals, heavy emphasis on Ryan Kent's, "deflected goal". Their first morning bulletin had Al Lamont post match in the Marakana with the held in Rangers support at his back. Al' told of Ryan Kent's, "deflected goal" and the quarter final draw being held after midday. The lunch time News had Kheredine Idessane standing upon the Hinshelwood Grassy Knoll, he told of the draw, "Braga are the best Rangers could have hoped for, avoiding Barcelona, Lyon and, West Ham". Then, we had a VoxPop filmed outside the Rangers Superstore. Nothing outrageous but why can't Rangers supporters just tell BBC Scotland to fcuk off? Tomorrow, BBC Scotland's Sports Correspondent and Chief Sports writer, Chris and Tom visit Dublin for the Ireland versus Scotland Rugby Six Nations international. It will be scrum down for the Craic, slurping the broth of Bhoys, and, the luck of the Irish. I hope Chris and Tom do not take turns in the unedifying sight of riding Irish luck. Certainly, they'll have a deflected Try.

Red Star 3 Rangers 2 FGS : Morelos.