26th of foot

Rangers 3 Sellik 2 FGS : Morelos.

When Ryan Jack is fit and playing, he is the metronome of our team.

Yep, Humza as Justice Secretary. Remember those two hanged effigies at Sellik Park? Both had their hands tied behind their backs, both had nooses around their necks, one was replete in a Rangers scarf, the other wearing an orange collarette. They were hanged from the North Stand, twisting in the breeze for one hour and twenty minutes. Below, dozens of flags fluttered proclaiming, "KAH" - kill all H-u-ns and, a banner stating - 'They hung Out the Flag of War'. Six members of the Green Brigade were arrested, charged and, appeared in court. They plead Not Guilty and the next court appearance was set for two months hence. When they turned up, the case was withdrawn because ALL EVIDENCE had been disappeared from the PF's Office. The Justice Secretary, Humza Yousaf promised a full investigation and the report would be published. Five years have passed, no report published. The MV Glen Sannox will be sailing before the report ever sees the light of day. When will the report be published?

The Union Bears should organise a 'Red Card for Humza' reception. 26,000 Bears flashing red cards is a wonderful photo opportunity.

Sellik are a SEPARATE ENTITY.

I voted for Ian Ferguson. Like Frankie, I do not think any player has done enough this season, perhaps I will change my mind on Sunday evening? I hope so, give us a hero. I voted for Fergie because he really annoyed ra Yahoos from the majority lower than a snake's belly wannabe balaclava clad jolly craicsters to the smirking tertiary educated let's pretend we are above it all types. Fergie came from Barrowfield, a stone's throw from ra Stade de Gadd. He came to Ibrox the hard way, fought his way out of multi social and economic deprivation to play at Clyde and St Mirren before refusing a number of big money transfer fees to get to his beloved Rangers. He did not drink or smoke, his pleasures were quiet and family based. He would not forgot where he came from and refused let his old pals down. On the contrary, ra Yahoos NEVER let him forget. Those that should know better penned newspaper pieces telling the readership the Fergusons from Barrowfield were all known as, 'Soapy' - because they knew nothing of the substance. Tony Roper(remember him?) announced on BBC Scotland, "We know Ian Ferguson is a H-u-n because he looks like a H-u-n". Philip Differ wrote the vast majority of the Only an Excuse scripts had Fergie entering an Italian restaurant and ordering, "the pageone". The waiter replied, "that's page one sir". ....................... and so it went on. He was marginalised and demonised because he had poor origins and steadfastly supported Rangers. When the openly Fascist, Italian coward, Paolo di Canio threatened Fergie on the Parkhead turf, he gestured breaking his legs. Fergie stood up and gave him the come ahead gesticulation then, ran and blootered the ball at the mooing Yahoos in the North Stand. Today, this weekend, I am voting for Fergie.

All games played in the month of May : Aberdeen at home on 7th May. Celtic at home on the 13th May. Hibs away on the 21st May. Hearts at home on the 24th May. St Mirren away on the 27th May.

Aberdeen 2 Rangers 4 FGS : Morelos.

I have thought long and hard and feel Frankie is the very man to participate on our behalf, the Lothian Lip as you might say. It is the old professionalism, patrol right up to the FEEP(forward edge of the enemy position) and patrol through into the depth areas. It would good to know the names of the Producers involved with the shows regularly dealing with matters Rangers? I have flagged up, 'Celtic State of Mind' regularly. They are PQ's de facto mouthpiece for matters Sellik; so much so, they are now part and parcel of the Presentation. Amy Canavan is across both radio and TV, the wooing of Frankie and other Rangers supporters is a box ticking exercise to allow Celtic State of Mind to continue - we have heard from one, let's hear from the other type exercise. Rangers supporters know BBC Scotland does NOT play fair in these matters. The very fact Kenny Macintyre is contacting Frankie is wrong, it should be the show's Producer. We know Kenny Mac is literally the last surviving blue nose in the building and he is ragged massively for it. I would say the Producers want nothing to do with Rangers supporters appearing, it is already all on Kenny Mac's head. There is a massive difference from some fans being allowed into the building ie the Gang Hut seeing how it operates and others being held at the end of a telephone connection. I am reminded of David Edgar seated in Central Station competing regularly with a Tannoy and Spiers in the studio at PQ. It is simple but highly effective - being asked to defend a position whilst coping with all sorts of positional interference. Here's a true story from my the end of my time as a Board member of the RST. We were invited into PQ after five years continuous complaints. The invitation was via BBC HQ down south. PQ were told to take the meeting due to constant evidence provided complaints. Mike Small and three others met with our three members delegation. We were met at reception and shown into an office to the left of reception, we looked out on to the river. We had an hour to state our case. Notes were taken and we were showed out the building. As we were approaching the revolving door, I was asked by a PQ Lackey, "how do you think it went"? I answered, "I would have done the same, office to the side of reception, keep the building as closed as your ears".

I prefer mayonnaise on my French fries. In the Languedoc, the potatoes have a waxy consistency, aioli is the very dab.

I think Frankie is the perfect choice. I hope he demands to be introduced as, 'Mad Frankie'. If questioned, he can say it is a Sellik state of mind.

Since Sunday, I have been staying at my mountain pied a terre in Mallorca. I took a twenty mile drive to Santa Ponca to view the wake of President Say it Aint So Joe Biden's visit to his ancestral roots. We all know Surrey in Ireland is where 80% of Joe's ancestors hail hailed from, but the story of Paco and Pepe O'Biden is little known. The brothers came up with Sobrasada picante, a Mallorquine sausage that encompasses every part of the pig including the squeal. This was the sustenance required by the Surrey Bidens that endured a ten week Atlantic crossing on a coffin ship during the famine. President Joe was impressed with the number of leprechauns parading the Avenues and Alleyways of Santa Ponca, he turned a corner and another load of volunteers were sitting astride a herd of Unicorns ready to chase rainbows. President Joe was seen to be shovelling up Unicorn droppings and demanding his current nation, the USA should be forced fed such sh1te because it is what they deserve. President Joe's security code name is, 'Celtic'. In this regard, I watched Rangers Ladies play Glasgow City live on BBC Alba last evening. The Gaelic commentary was brought to us by retiree, Hugh Dan MacLennan. A Shinty man from Lochaber, a former Head Teacher from the Scots Gaelic School in Inverness, a former Chief Executive of Caledonian Macbraynes, a ............................ very typical employee of PQ. Hugh Dan found Rangers one nil lead hard to handle for over an hour, he saw a couple of dodgy penalty awards not given to city by the Ref' and, was exasperated by the Linesman flagging City forwards offside. When City equalised with less than two minutes left on the clock, Hugh Dan roared, "you cannot argue, it is the very least they deserve". Five minutes added on saw Hugh Dan waiting on the Corran ferry. Five minutes is equivalent to a CalMac four week delay. Time was suspended as Rangers midfielder, McLean pulled down a high ball, turned and slipped a wonderful pass through to Howat who passed into the net for a 2-1 victory. Hugh Dan was choking like he had consumed an entire Sobrasada picante. The next time he steps on to the Corran ferry, it will be Santa Ponca bound.

The Sellik State of Mind Narrative. PQ have made the decision to increase their hours of football output on a Saturday. It is now a guaranteed seven hours from Noon until 19.00hrs. The last hour and a half are filled with a special guest(last week it was Sanjeev Kholi) and selected groupings of club supporters contacted on their way home from a game. BBC Scotland have a number of Sellik supporting Staffers at the top end of the organisation; there's Chris McLaughlin as Sports Correspondent, Tom English as Chief Sports Writer, Kheredine Idessanne as Sports Reporter, ........ etc. What is required to keep up the hate are edgy Sellik supporters from Podcasts - websites that can deliver the killer one liners. As discussed in earlier pieces, A Celtic State of Mind has been chosen and a couple of members have already been appearing across the spectrum, notably Amy Canavan. The Bonnyrigg Rose prickled again on The View from the Terrace. A review of season 2008 had a mention of the number of games faced by Rangers in achieving status as UEFA Cup finalists. Amy delivered the killer lines that the big competition that season like any other was the Premiership and that was won by her beloved Sellik, no mention of the three day extended season. Amy has utilised her appearance on this show to articulate her disdain for Scots clubs achieving Euro finalist status. Earlier in the season, she told of family jumping up and dancing around the room as Aaron Ramsey had his penalty saved in last season's Europa Cup final. The reappearance of Sanjeev Kholi is equally interesting. Along with another Sellik supporter, Greg Hemphill they were the first co-hosts of Off the Ball 28 years past. Sanjeerv secured the job by taking to the Sunday papers to establish his credentials. Charleen Sweeney was the Editor of Scotland on Sunday's current affairs supplement, 'Seven Days'. In a three page exclusive, he told of being educated privately at St Aloysius College, Glasgow. Along with his two brothers, they were the only Rangers supporters attending the school. His support changed to Sellik after witnessing Mark Walters debut at Sellik Park on the second of January'88. Sanjeev's contribution was the very epitome of revisionism. He told of being in the Rangers end, seeing fellow Rangers supporters in Gorilla suits and several hundred bananas being lobbed from the Rangers end on to the pitch. Charleen loved the revisionism, the next week she published a one paragraph piece of correspondence disagreeing with Sanjeev's recollection. The following week, two pieces of correspondence were worthy of publication, both were penned by Sanjeev's brothers. The sex pest, Hardeep took several paragraphs to say nothing and the other, s senior Met' Officer talked about discrimination. Job done, Sanjeev was confirmed as Off the Ball host. Later that year, two Glasgow Uni' Undergrads died in a basement flat with barred windows fire in West Princes Street, Glasgow. The barred windows contravened the city council license and the Kholi familys several hundred licenses were immediately investigated. The conclusion was a withdrawal of in excess of 250 of the licenses and the family were accused of being slum Landlords. A banner at a Rangers match soon after proclaimed, 'Sanjeev Kholi - a Liar and Slum Landlord'. The Polis removed said banner telling the truth. The Kholi family live a charmed life with the Police. Despite two separate investigations into Hardeep's sex pesting, he has not faced charges but no longer appears on anything. Maybe the third brother's occupation has an influence? No show without Punch, RAB Cosgrove revisited Mark Walters debut three years past. We were back to a carpet of bananas in front of the Jungle but the whole signing was deliberately framed as part and parcel, integral really in the signing of Maurice Johnston, portrayed as Rangers first catholic signing. Archie 'Punch' Kyle played in excess of 200 games for Rangers at the turn of the nineteenth-twentieth centuries, the Rangers Historian stated he was Rangers thirty-first RC signing. RAB created a show without Punch and John Spencer. When Mo' signed he doubled the number of catholics at the Club. There is a documentary to be made and, should be made why Rangers signed only half-a-dozen RCs between 1922 and 1988. Do it and tell the truth. Talking of truth sayers, last week's immediate post old firm guest is another teller of ra Sellik truth. Paul English has been a regular Off the Ball guest over the years, a former Daily Record showbiz Journo, he is now just another PQ Staffer. He was the equivalent of the wee guy at the front of a swaggering Orange Band, the stick was being twirled and launched with a ton of triumphalism. He was anxious to compare and contrast with Rangers glory days, "when they were paying the piper ..... wait a minute did they pay the piper"? Guffaws around the studio were only quelled when Paul delivered the message, under AngeBall, Sellik are unstoppable. Neither of the Dynamic Duo mentioned, dared mention Bodo Glimt. Ra Sellik state of mind will continue until a battalion on Pat Bonner-Bots are the norm' - who cares about the names of the opposition players, we only broadcast to praise ra Sellik.

Rangers 5 St Mirren 3 FGS : Tav'.

Steve Robinson's St Mirren plays with two up top, Curtis Main joined by Eamonn Brophy. This could be the day where the buckle is swashed at Ibrox? I am predicting a 5-3 victory for the Rangers.

I have just looked up the motorhome atop the flat bed seen leaving Peter Murrell's Maw's driveway. It is a Niesmann and Bischoff ismove. I am reassured, the vehicle has wonderfully interior designed space that would allow Michael to swing a kick at his favourite target - Rangers, anytime he feels the need to do so. Further, all that saved space offers Michael considerable room to store his incredible level of entitlement. I find the above more believable than this particular motorhome was intended to replace the SNP Battlebus that had a capacity of forty(40). The Niessmann and Roscoff ismove sleeps four at a push when utilising the Lifting Bed. No, rather than the motorhome idling away for two years on a Dunfermline driveway, in new modern Scotland; Michael should be allowed to indulge his every fantasy by being allowed regular hurls in the van. I do hope the Ferries to Brigadoon are running?

Rangers had a poor weekend, we lost our second match this calendar year. Both losses have been by the odd goal to league leaders, Sellik. VAR played a part in our defeat, a wrestling match at the back post between Alfredo Morelos and Alistair Johnston saw the Columbian stab home for the opening goal. Referee, Kevin Clancy blew up for a foul after Johnston threw himself to the ground. It took VAR a dozen seconds to agree with the whistler's decision. Rangers were united for a change, the players, management team, Board and, supporters wanted an explanation? Subsequently, the Club penned a letter to the appropriate authority. According to Michael Stewart the above is NOT true. No, utilised social media to Tweet. : "Rangers level of entitlement is incredible. Writing letters wanting explanations and apologies for one perceived mistake. I must have missed the numerous other clubs letters this season. St J must have done it after their game at Ibrox". The overwhelming consensus of opinion among Michael's fellow pundits was the goal should have stood. Andy Walker and former Premiership Referee, Dermot Gallagher were adamant in that ra Sellik defender was lucky and attempted to con Clancy by diving forward. Michael reduces the incident to, "one perceived mistake". Michael's beat is coverage of Scottish football and he has missed the seven other Scottish Premiership clubs that have already sent letters to the authorities seeking clarification reference VAR. Michael's former employers, Sellik issued letters twice in one month, November. St Johnstone appealed Nicky Clark's red card, Motherwell had BBC Sportsound and Sportscene to themselves before putting pen to paper, ................... etc Remember, Michael has had to put pen to paper twice when apologising for outrageous remarks made about both Rangers and former PQ employee, Jim Traynor? It must be the, "Rangers level of entitlement is incredible" line that achieved Mick's state of tumescence. I suspect Sellik cracked the whip and Michael came to heel, he was told to support and reinforce Sutton, Hartson, Commons, ...... etc. Given the events of the last month, Sunday morning's imagery of Peter Murrell's £125,000 Motorhome leaving his 92 year old Maw's driveway on the back of a low loader, must have laid him lower than the vehicle's interior lavender backlighting. His sense of adventure being stymied is immediately corrected by aiming another kick at Rangers. Michael is well practised in his incredible level of entitlement.

I thought we played reasonably well for an hour yesterday. Indeed, in the first fifteen minutes of the second period we created a couple of decent chances, the momentum seemed to be with us. During the 61st minute, Sellik broke upfield and won a corner. What occurred next is something we have seen in the team since Gerrard's days; we had half-a-dozen opportunities to completely clear the ball but failed to do so. There are four or five part/half clearances, the ball keeps returning and you feel it is a matter of the law of averages. Sellik gained confidence in their high press and both the goals conceded were as the result of our centre backs facing their own goal. Davies fails to head the ball out from less than a yard from the bye line, the corresponding ricochet is snapped up by a lurking with intent, Kyogo. Souttar is similarly facing his own goal when he plays a pass to the Keeper without sufficient weight. This time Jota's predatorial instincts are alerted. Although we pulled one back, we provided Sellik with another couple of opportunities due to their high press. Similarly, a month past at Hampden in the first half; we were reduced to hitting 70-80 yard diagonals from our own eighteen yard box in an attempt to escape the high press. Ninety per cent of the time, Tillman lost out to Greg Taylor in the aerial challenge. I suspect the key might lie in Bodo Glimt's 5-1 demolition of Angebaw? Their out ball was more of a chip to the wide areas of the half way line. The tallish midfielder was expected to win the ball and turn, his teammates were already flooding past on the inside awaiting the release pass. If not, they went down shielding the ball and, mostly won the foul. Aribo was good in that role for us, we need to find a designated replacement before the semi-final. The other aspect missing from our side is a snarling, narky midfielder in the mould of Stuart McCall/ Alex MacDonald, find him and place him on Callum McGregor.

Sellik 1 Rangers 2 FGS : Soutar.

We could ask Peter Murrell for an interest free loan.

Recipes? A Recipe is a formula of ingredients and list of instructions for creating a prepared outcome. Mrs Beeton liked a recipe, she advised taking six rabbits and marinading Bugs and chums overnight in two pints of Dijon mustard for the best Lapin au Moutarde. Strict adherence is a necessary should you want to replicate quality, quantity and, costs. Mrs Beeton demanded uniformity, Lady Bracknell's floppies in mustard must taste the exact same as Miss Havisham's. Remember, the creation must be swallowed. It has become increasingly obvious to Rangers supporters that PQ enjoys force feeding us, The Producers prepare the outcome and the usual suspects impose the spoon to our collective thorax. Scotland played Cyprus and there was an obvious fly in the ointment, a cleansing was required. Ryan Jack had been substituted by McTominay who subsequently netted a couple of late goals. Ryan Jack must not start against Spain and on the Sunday RAB Cosgrove asked guest, Derek Ferguson, "who was Scotland's dud"? A hesitant Derek said he did not want to answer and RAB assured him by saying, "I am setting you up". Derek answered, "Ryan Jack and we know he cannot play two games in a week". RAB replied, "watching yesterday, he cannae play wan". The Celtic state of mind extends to PLZ Soccer. Peter McGuire aka Peter Martin saw the opportunity to be his beloved Sellik's main broadcast shill and founded PLZ(Peter, Linzi and, Zoe - himself, wife and, daughter), it is a five bob YouTube production with ten years of slavish adherence to the recipe. His regulars are Tam McManus, Hugh MacDonald, Alison McConnell and, Alan Rough. Peter continually insists, "we will give you an opinion"; in reality it is a continual Sellik opinion. He asked the token, Alan Rough who was Scotland's weakest link on the Monday show after Cyprus and the former Sellik Keeper answered, "it's got to be the Rangers player, the Ryan Jack fella". You see the connection, a cleansing was required and Jack was expunged. More purchase was achieved by utilising the non-Sellik participants to deliver the blow. The most cowardly aspect to this whole episode is that after the Cyprus game, several sources reported Jack had been routinely booed again by sections of the Tartan Army. Neither PQ nor Peter McGuire's production mentioned this fact. I suspect the bitter aftertaste was deemed unnecessary by the provided recipe? "Cheated and Hoodwinked" revisited. We established in the last piece that PQ had no hesitation in allowing Motherwell Manager and first Team Coach, Stuart Kettlewell and Richard Foster unfettered access to both TV and radio to vent their spleens on the recipe pitched Rangers - VAR debate. The Cove Rangers PRO, Big Dick Gordon flashed his Rangers hating credentials by stating, "Todd Cantwell cheated and hoodwinked the referee". Now subsequently, Kettlewell has reconsidered his position since watching more of the VAR scenes and stated, "the officials and VAR got all the contentious decisions correct". Too late, the damage is done. On return to domestic action we had a most similar incident involving a Rangers player, Tavernier and Dundee United defender, Aziz Behich. In the Main Stand/Copland corner, Tav' was booked for throwing out an arm whilst shielding the ball. Tav's fingers might have brushed the Arab's face? Behich threw his head back, clutched his face in both hands and, fell to the pitch in supposed agony. Behich's actions were a deliberate attempt to cheat and hoodwink the Ref' and, it worked. BBC Sportscene did NOT analyse the incident and BBC Sportsound did NOT talk about it. However, Sellik supporting Chris Iwelumo on Sportscene thought Rangers double scorer, Malik Tillman was deserving of a yellow card for attempting to cheat and hoodwink the Ref' when he was downed as he drove towards the United box. I am beginning to think Rangers next opponents must be PQ's favourite team? A couple of decades past, there was a debate on the pages of a broadsheet newspaper on the defining recipe for the supper dish, potted shrimp. Essentially, it is Morecambe Bay brown shrimp cooked in clarified butter, transferred to ramekins and allowed to cool in the fridge. The idea is to tip the ramekin on to warm toast and allow the heat to melt the butter into the bread. The discussion raged on whether the appropriate spice in the butter was mace or nutmeg. I prefer mace, more of a combination of cinnamon and pepper that gives a warm comforting aftertaste. Those preferring nutmeg always call for a generous grating, you need more for a lesser effect. Reference BBC Scotland and Rangers, the preferred spice is always two generous shovel loads of hate - it's like a Sellik state of mind.

Today(Wednesday), Lewis Budinauckas had his red card issued on Sunday versus Celtic B, rescinded. The freeze framed picture proved the Rangers Keeper did NOT handle outside the eighteen yard box. Referee, Greg Soutar issued the red card on the call from his Assistant Referee(Linesman), Dougie Potter. Rangers were winning one nil and dominating the game when the incident occurred on the cusp of half time. Subsequently, Rangers lost the match 1-3.

Rangers 3 Dundee United 0 FGS : Colak.

The other guy is former Herald Literary Editor, Hugh MacDonald. Hugh is a big, BIG Sellik man(hence why he has appeared on Peter Martin's PLZ Soccer show for these last ten years). A regular on Cosgrove and Cowan too, he seethes quietly in his hatred of all things Rangers. One of the last pieces he did for the Herald was to eulogise the Brazilian footballer, Kaka for his commitment to the poor of the country. Voluntarily, he gave back a substantial percentage of his salary to his church for poverty relief. Of course, Hugh did not realise Kaka like all his extended family, was an evangelical protestant. Shug is also a big supporter of Scottish independence. These days, he lives on the Isle of Arran and we know the days the CalMac ferries are running when he hail hails on Peter Martin's PLZ Soccer.

No, like his fabled Highland Castle, the Villa was inflatable. Craigie did what Craigie did, he sucked the air out of both situations. The Costa Ricans enjoyed his visits, all the snakes fcuked off to Panama for each duration.