26th of foot

Rangers 2 the Mighty Maryhill Magyars 1. FGS : Waghorn.

I suspect Gerry Braiden's dull west Belfast tones are currently whispering in Brendan's lug, "here's the vicTIM card Brendan, play it quick, play it often". BT Sports, Crass Sutton will agree with Brendan's sentiments, once he's been told to do so.

As stated yesterday, Braiden's original article is up there with Phil McFournames essay, 'the Incubator'. Similarly, Braiden should be identified as, 'tarred with the sectarian brush'. The Herald should carefully consider Braiden's role at the blatt, going forward.

I suggest the Bears condemned to visit the hill of dung, clap along on the 12th minute. Perhaps sing along with, 'if your'e happy and you know it'?

Gerry Braiden is the Herald's long term Local Government correspondent. When the Herald requires a bitter tinge in it's copy, both Gerry and Neil Cameron are the go to men. Michael Briggs, better known as Alfie Briggs has given Gerry what he wanted. The problem is that old journalistic maxim, 'if your'e accurate, you'll be objective' has been completely ignored. As has been stated, Barton is a member of the National Secular Society. Of course, the Herald has previous in this regard. A decade past, the then Literary Editor, Hugh MacDonald did a double page piece lionising AC Milan's Kaka for his philanthropy. At the heart was his rc conditioning, charity and good works being pillars of his faith. All of this in a build up piece to Hugh's green'n'grey hooped horrors playing Milan. The correspondence poured in, pointing out Kaka was a born and bred member of Brazil's fastest growing church, evangelical protestantism. Reference Gerry's piece, it's up there with Phil McFournames signature, 'the Incubator'. Sadly, Gerry will be proud of it,

Three weeks suspension appears to be the club kicking this particular can, further on down the road. If Barton returns to the dressing room, this will occur again, and again. His past is a weight he struggles to bear, all the various coping courses he has undertaken, have conditioned him not to bottle up his emotions. Keeping it all in, leads to serious frustrations for Joey, and he blows. Thus, he emotes, continually. He gets it all out and lets everyone else deal with the consequences. Joey perceives his sin to be clean. He can venture on to Talk Sport(he must emote) and sling a comfortable line about doing nothing wrong and the action taken being strange. Again, that's about his equilibrium. Joey can do individual discipline to a point; however, participating in collective discipline .......................? Joey will launch his autobiography entitled, 'no nonsense' tomorrow evening unfettered by club commitment. He can blame all his past bust-ups on all the other participants. The media will eat it up. Extrapolating, I suspect Joey will go on to trash Rangers and Scottish football in the next three weeks, and the media will eat it up. Maybe, Joey should change his autobiography to, 'No Sense'? I have just watched Chris McLaughlin on BBC Scotland purring reference Barton's purdah, the player is no longer welcome at Ibrox or the club's training ground". Chris stands upon the Hinshelwood waste ground echoing the phraseology that preceded his coventry. I suggest the club kick Joey into the Hinshelwood long grass beside Chris, they could form a self-help group.

Yesterday on BBC Radio Scotland; Richard Gordon, Wullie Miller, Scott Davie, and Alan Preston were all desperate for Aberdeen to win at Dens Park. Rheinhart and Wullie are Dandy Dons, thus okay and they added the bonus of going ahead of Rangers on goal difference. Again, Biscuits Preston had the BIG hard-on because he believes a victory at Dens will kick start the Dons season and set them up nicely for next weekend. Rheinhart countered with, "we have St Johnstone first up in the League Cup". Biscuits shrugged it off, "no matter, Aberdeen have too much pace and width for Rangers". Now, I believe Scott Davie to be a Raith Rovers fan; however, he adds he is looking forward to next Sunday's fixture at Pittodrie, "enormously". That well rehearsed, repeated phrase, "due to the ongoing problems between Rangers and the BBC" is becoming a euphemism for 'fill your boots'. Still, as H-u-n scum, we should know our place.

We won the cup that year, it was my first Scottish Cup final(the replay). King Kai's 25 yarder. Singing Kai aye yippie yippie aye, singing Kai aye yippie yippie aye, Singing Kai aye yippie Jock Stein's a fcuking hippie Singing Kai aye yippie yippie aye.

As stated on Footiechat, we must remember the mantra of BBC Radio Scotland that, "Sellik are doing it for Scotland".

Remember Gersnetters, BBC Radio Scotland have been at pains to continually inform the listenership that, "they're doing it for Scotland".

Ross County is a blank canvas, I don't think we have ever played them in a league fixture? Further, is this their first visit to Ibrox? You can paint your own picture, well done for volunteering.

That's it, ra Sellik are in the clear from the footballing authorities. The effigies and banners did not exist. Similarly, 4 weeks past at Tynecastle, the SPFL Delegate, Ricky Gray's report was delayed for ten days, and some say amended to edit out the travelling supports IRA karaoke.

Do we know the identity of the SPFL Delegate on Saturday?

If you remember four years past, Sellik demanded a bank transfer of the necessary funds to cover the cost of the 8,000 allocation. They didn't believe we had access to said funds. Thus, I suspect something similar remains in existence, monies handed over before tickets delivered. Obviously, Rangers recover the funds from those allocated the tickets. Refusing the allocation would almost certainly allow them to sell those tickets on to their non-season ticket support.

I hope the club put the Match Commander, Brian McNulty under specific pressure reference his immediate post match comments. Further, both the current Justice Minister, Michael Matheson and recently retired Lord Advocate, Frank Mullholland were in attendance at the game. The club should request the one out of 129 MSPs that supports Rangers, Murdo Fraser to formally ask the Justice Minister as to his take and direction going forward, on both the banners and effigies displayed?

I would much rather we refused the allocation for our next visit to Sellik Park.

Used to host, 'Tic Talk'; actually, still does.

Gerry has worked hard. of course, Radio Snyde is the very place to be Peter's man. Thirty years of Cooney, Martin, Delahunt, .................... and now Gerry McFcukwit. Well done Gerry, I hope you can negotiate the burst cadavers of Stephen McGowan, Chris McLaughlin, Paul Quigley, ....................... etc lying outside Peter's door? Oh, and Gerry, whilst washing Peter's car; remember, he likes three coats of wax.

Gerry has worked hard. of course, Radio Snyde is the very place to be Peter's man. Thirty years of Cooney, Martin, Delahunt, .................... and now Gerry McFcukwit. Well done Gerry, I hope you can negotiate the burst cadavers of Stephen McGowan, Chris McLaughlin, Paul Quigley, ....................... etc lying outside Peter's door? Oh, and Gerry, whilst washing Peter's car; remember, he likes three coats of wax.

............ and missed Little Feat!!!!!!! To be fair, I was corresponding last evening with a few old mates, and we reckon a pint was still under 30 pence in '75. Probably, 27/28p in the Union. Mates with better memories also revealed the six bands in order of appearance that day were : Widowmaker(fronted by the Love Affair's Steve Ellis), the Streetwalkers, the Outlaws, Little Feat, Alex Harvey, and the Who.

The piece is by Stacey Mullen of the Herald. Clearly, Stacey does NOT do irony. A decade past, the then self styled, 'Showbiz Stacey' had just graduated and doing her cub reporter bit on a local rag. She was a regular on the cobbles of Ashton Lane and known to broadcast her views, loud and proud. Her social media broadcasts reinforced her love of brave Provos, hatred of H-u-ns and Dobbers, and pyoor love o ra Sellik. Of course, Stacey quickly moved to vicTIM status, those nasty Rangers supporters had looked into her open accounts and exposed her. I remember there was a picture of a bleached blond, corkscrewed hair, Showbiz Stacey dancing with a fag in her mitt, classy girl! Recently informed, her biggest, bestest mate in journalism is Jane Hamilton, yep that Jane Hamilton. Imagine such a wretch interviewing a copper on social media vigilance?

Oh well, substitute Ted McDougall for Rossiter. Seriously, I think O'Halloran's pace and ability to take the team 40-50 yards up the pitch should be utilised, somehow?

I detect a sense of foreboding among fellow Bears, the coming weekend will be negotiated with trepidation. Predicting the course of the emotional roller-coaster is littered with caveats. We can survive that first sudden dip and acute bend if Barton remains focused. Enduring the corkscrew experience will be easier if O'Halloran's pace regularly takes the team up the park. We can be beneficiaries of the cooling water splash if referee, Wullie Collum stands up to the certain inTIMidation. It will intensify in the final hour, the grinding cogs carry the cradle higher, team news is released, speculation on formation provides moments of calm, immediately follow followed by a rush of impending doom. Constantly, I am admiring of the wild cock-eyed optimist. He sits in the very front seat of leading carriage, drink and hot dog in hand. Between bites and gulps, breathless assurances are issued to fellow travelers; most of his energy expended gesticulating towards the opposition. How do they do it? In my professional life, there was an acceptance on the super fine dividing line between genuine leadership and behaviour akin to throwing sh1te at the moon. Admittedly, I tend to objective appreciation. I have approached a number of these games over the seasons having made a pact with all gods and devils to accept the necessary punishment as long as the defeat is respectable. The League Cup semi-final two years past, saw me watching the clock and willing it to run faster and keep the score at 0-2. Today, I am serene, the clocking slaps of the winding gear is lost amid the noise of my imagination. Can we go there and win? The caveats are demanding, keep it tight for twenty minutes, deny supply to their pace by being all over Rogic like a bad rash, and score first. We must notch first, and second! Even if that were to occur, I would be demanding the ref' blow the whistle. Secure the victory, there are three months to immerse ourselves in the warm waters of triumphalism. What if they go ahead, can we recover? In over fifty years of these fixtures, I know the Yahoos are most adept at reinforcing success. They can ride the crest of that particular wave. However, the last few months have thrown up awkward and inconvenient obstacles in the progress of glittering Sellik's seamless ride. Their obsession with zombies is a collective fantasy; but defeat to Lincoln Red Imps was a reality, as was the rag dolling they endured in Israel, and last season's Scottish Cup semi-final defeat continues to burn. There are very real frailties in their team and it's up to our management team to ensure the side can prevail of the opportunities presented. Like the semi-final, we must find a way to play the majority of the game in their half. Possession must be retained and the diagonal swith regularly executed. As is often in my previews, I look to times past and games that seem to mirror today's situation. The autumn of '74 saw very similar circumstances, we had not won at ra Piggery for six years. A young Billy Jardine had starred in a deserved 2-4 mauling in September'68. The seasons in between were devoid of victory and swagger. Stein's side pinned us back and played in and around. We could not get beyond and at their vulnerable central defence. Both club and support mindset seemed to be accepting the inevitable. I had resolved not to attend, I was matriculating the Friday before, my first Freshers' Week and that would be enough interference. Aye right! Waiting for my photie to be taken, a school mate attending another faculty approached and announced he had a spare ticket. Further, he thrust a copy of the NME towards adding, "and this will be our second visit there this season". Nine months hence, a day long concert of six bands were playing Sellik Park for the outrageous price of £5. The Who were headlining, Alex Harvey was the support act, and the other three groups did not inspire. I worshiped at the altar of the Small Faces, they replicated the classic Booker T and the MGs line up. The Who were lumpen, here's the loud bit, followed by the quiet bit, there's no soul. Steve Marriott was the man and only a week later when Lowell George's(the next best thing to Stevie) Little Feat were announced as the sixth band, did I decide to find a fiver. Standing on the terrace that was the third of the jungle allocated to Bears, the Jock Wallace team announcement was bewildering. He was starting with Cutty Young and Graham Fyfe up front, and handing a debut to young midfielder, Ian McDougall. We regarded the front pair as wide players and knew nothing about the soon to become Ted McD. The first half revealed the plan, Cutty and Johan(Fyfe) began every phase up against central defenders, McNeill and Fat Pat McLuskey, then break quickly into the deserted full back areas. Ted would stride through into the box. Colin and I hugged, we had a plan. Half time murmurings were morose, born'n'bred bluenose, Kenny Dal' had struck again and were one down. Our fellow Bears were undaunted, the noise being generated from the Rangers end at the start of the second half wason amplifiers turned up to eleven. I remember a Pepsi Cola parasol being tossed around the swaying masses. Just before the hour, Cutty slapped Fat Pat and broke wide, Johan had dropped deeper, trailing Big Seezur with him, and Ted strode through on Johan's reverse pass. McDougal struck low from the edge of the box and ball found the inside of post, and subsequently, the net. Dennis Connaghan rushed to the edge of the penalty area D to berate a hapless Seezur, I rushed to the bottom of the terrace to remind Dennis, that he like his skipper was, "a useless cnut". Sellik became hesitant, the confidence was draining, and Bomber Jackson nodding a Calimero corner into the top corner; saw the Pepsi parasol finally settle track side. I think both Jim Brogan and Derek Parlane saw red? It didn't matter, the momentum had switched. we won the N'erday fixture 3-zip, and the season culminated in a league championship win at Easter Road, our first in 11 years. As you can imagine, the residual exuberance carried us through and anaesthetised me during the thrashing sound of the Who. Six of us pitched up and we took individual and collective delights dependent upon the group on stage. We were standing on a system of tarpaulins covering the pitch. Bobby's maw worked for Lanarkshire school dinners and had secured a large catering tin of tangerines. It was a 12 hour day and you could take in your own refreshment and sustenance. During Alex Harvey's over-wrought performance, we decided to tear the tarp' and dig down 3-4 feet, and buried the can intact. Over the decades, I suspect this act has kept me warmer in bed of a winter's evening, than our deserved 1-2 win. My team for Saturday would be : Foderingham, Tavernier, Wallace, Senderos, Kiernan, McKay, Barton, Kranjcar, Forrester, Rossiter, and Miller.

Four years ago, there was a bar/restaurant in Drury Street that decided to place blackboards outside the premises, advertising, 'Free Jelly and Ice Cream'. The Herald's Gerry Braiden decided to highlight this in his jolly craicster fashion. The Bar manager quipped the light hearted banter line, the readership were urged to book tables for the coming Sunday afternoon live coverage of a Hibs/Sellik fixture, and triumphalism was guaranteed. A mate logged on to TripAdvisor and penned a withering review reference food, ambiance, service, ............... and the surly manager's determination to continue watching a televised football match, despite customers' demands. It seems many took the lead, and the reviews became more damning. The establishment fell to a ranking of 37th out of 37 in city centre. Three months later, it closed/was rebranded under new management and staff.

The Rangers News was always telling us that Ally was, 'some chanter' when karaoke beckoned. Maybe Ally should seriously explore becoming a chanteur of chanson? A duet with the little sparrow is a must.