26th of foot

Bill Leckie - a poor excuse for a Lothario. Bill, I suspect you are forgetting those days of internet dating profiles, a self proclaimed hard man! Snigger.

To be fair to JJ, he has shown the ability to get in, slip one to Suzy McGuire, and get back out without a stiletto being stuck up his keester. That's bullfighting kudos.

Well, there you go; Michael Stewart is an alchemist, turning a base incident into a .............................. base incident. The lifebelt toting Michael has tossed Richard, Rob, and Wullie something made of lead.

BBC Radio Scotland was a hoot at the final whistle. You had Richard Gordon, Wullie Miller, Rob McLean, and Chris McLaughlin drowning, and grasping for a line with a modicum of purchase. Richard thought the game was the very epitome of one side's total domination being usurped by a four minute piece of the action. Not unsurprisingly, Chris McLaughlin's first question to McInnes was framed as such. Wullie preferred to lament Aberdeen's failure to capitalise and blamed poor defending for all three Rangers goal. As those last breaths were giving out on the last vestiges of oxygen, along came Michael toting a lifebelt. Apparently, Michael Stewart's presentation on tonight's Sportscene proves the Dandies should have been awarded a first half penalty. Michael was at pains to say, "not the first angle, but the subsequent camera angles are more interesting". Richard, Rob, and Chris could all remember Danny Wilson's challenge on ..... somebody in red, and it will be ........... interesting. Oh Michael, just because Big Eck took you on that fortnight long pre-season tour to Austria and Germany, ah mean we even beat Roma 4-1, and the squad thought you were marvelous, and ........... but didn't offer you a contract. It still hurts, doesn't it? I should mention Alex Rae was also on today. He revealed he had interrupted a family break in Portugal to take in the game for BBC Scotland. He nailed big Richard in the following passage : Richard : 'these big games still raise excitement levels' Rae : 'even old pro's are still up for it' Richard : 'like I said to you in the car park before the game, ah guess it's the level of anticipation' Rae : 'honestly Richard, I think your levels of anticipation were considerably higher than mine, particularly the way you were skipping across the car park'. Richard : nervous and embarrassed laughter. We await Michael's life saving skill tonight at 22.30hrs on BBC 1.

Kenny Boom Boom.

Shaky start, Toral and Holt have stood up to it, came into the game and created a couple of good opportunities. We failed to take them, the story of the last eighteen months. The Dons main threat is the direct ball into our box, particularly corners. Reference Garner, I thought he let himself and the team down. However, BBC Scotland's take is as expected. Wullie Miller reckons Garner could be off at least twice. Richard Gordon has stated, "Garner is cheating". Contrast and compare with Sky's take; the referee did well, Neil McCann highlights Ryan Jack pushing his head into Garner's face, and Boyd points out Ash Taylor's challenge is worse. I would sub Garner at half time, we need to keep eleven on the pitch.

Big Richard Gordon, Liam McLeod, Wullie Miller, Tom English, .............................. and Chris McLaughlin will be demanding Garner's dismissal from the off. Garner MUST maintain his discipline.

Provo rejoiced in his given nickname at ra Piggery for over a decade. Provo thought Gazza's imaginary flute playing was damaging the peace process. The peace process Provo tells anyone that continues to listen, "ahm a regular golfing partner of Dermot". The peace process Provo is condemning a fellow pro' after three games. The peace process Provo agrees with Jum Spence, he labeled Pedro 'useless' on BBC Radio Scotland on Wednesday. Why Provo? On a day when Peter has given Phil 'poison pen' Gordon the go ahead to fire the first cannon in a growing to overwhelming cannonade to ensure continuing political and financial support for ra Sellik's claim to world dominance; why are you so bothered about a bullfighter? Surely, Neil's continued meltdown would be more worthy of the Provo Pen? Then again, as long as you continue to exercise the phrase, "that's a gimme Dermot", you can write what you want.

Took the train, and a Taxi. Even at the end of that pier, the sea remains a mile away.

The Northern Light. The northern lights of old Aberdeen mean ....................... lots of different things to lots of different Rangers supporters. Forty-odd years past on the Uni mini bus returning from a Scottish Cup game at Pittodrie, we sang such illumination meant sweet fcuk all. We were indifferent to Furryboots City and the Dandyism contained within the city walls. Although, earlier in the day, standing atop an open South terrace, I became quite animated when our own heavenly dancer, Ally Scott prodded the Bears ahead. The animation became more exaggerated in the second half due to the Dons reserve number nine, Wullie Miller equalised. A couple of pleasant post match drinks in Aberdeen Uni Union ensued and we were informed by Dandies sharing the bar, that Miller had been loaned out to Peterhead the season before and had finished the Highland League season as top scorer. Further, we were assured his goal was a one off, and he was a dud. I should mention we had a special guest on our bus that day, the manager of Arbroath, Albert Henderson. His nephew was our Convener and a post grad' Bacteriologist. Albert was in the Arbroath hot seat for eighteen years, several of those in the top flight. He thought the boy, 'Miller' was a player. The only mitigation under the Ibrox floodlights in the midweek replay, was witnessing Rangers play in an all white strip. Bobby McKean's leveler should be remembered, but unfortunately, the Dons struck either side to knock us out the cup, 1-2. My memories of travelling to Aberdeen between the mid 60s and mid 70s will be shared by most Bears. It was a four hour journey up, most clubs stopped for a purvey lunch in Laurencekirk/Stonehaven, had High Tea and a few drinks in Aberdeen or just outside, before replicating the long and weary back down the road. It's how it was back in the day, no animosity between Bears and Dons. On the trip related, in the Uni Union, we were shown a room full of trashed furniture and fittings. This was the debris left after Glasgow University Sellik supporters club had visited three months previously. The Aberdeen SRC banned said Yahoo club due to unacceptable behaviour, a dozen years later the ban was reimposed indefinitely. The Dons did not have a big travelling support, those that came to Ibrox mostly stood in the west enclosure. Again, I remember standing next to and exchanging comments with them. It wasn't always entirely friendly, just the normal differing of opinions from opposing supporters. I do not remember any squaring up. In September'79, I received a few days leave and traveled up from Hampshire to Pittodrie for an early season league game. We scored first, courtesy of DJ, and then were most lucky Aberdeen's reply stopped at three. Later, that evening, I met a couple of mates from the Uni supporters' bus, both then living and working in Aberdeen, including the former Convener. We dined in the town's best eatery at the time, 'Gerard's'. The atmosphere had changed, our pre-meal drink at the bar was interrupted by cat calling from other parties. We were advised to tone down the Weegie accents and one garrulous Dandy opined, "ye shid ah be quarantined in yer slums". Our former Convener reminded the clown of the last quarantine on these islands, it was Aberdeen in May 1964 because of an outbreak of Typhoid. Nearly 500 folks hospitalised due to contaminated Fray Bentos steak pies. I have read it all over the years, the animosity began with this, that, and everything. It was Ferguson's siege mentality, it was Wullie Johnston standing on McMaster, it was our inability to accept Aberdeen's success, it was Simpson's tackle on Durrant ...................................... etc. It could simply be that Aberdeen are a one club city and they needed a rival, or they do suffer from a massive insecurity. One thing is true, absolutely. The last thirty years has seen an increasing amplification of the animosity. The application of the needle on this particular record is often at the hands of the Yahoos. They are a club like no other, they steal their song from Liverpool FC and the way they hate our club has emanated from the Dandy Dons. The Yahoos in both broadcast and print media love to lionise the Dandies when they pitch up at ra Stydome and sing, "we hate Rangers more than you". It fair tickles them and the message is most often reinforced on BBC Scotland. You see, all those Dandies behind the mikes were conditioned by the fanzine, 'the Northern Light'. The main artist on the Northern Light was Gordon Reid. He depicted Bears as failed abortions, wire coat hangers protruding from our heads. He drew the strip, 'the Bigots'. There was even a front cover of a stairway with skulls piled at the bottom. Well, you can imagine how much this all inspired our separated brethren. Gordon Reid was transferred from the Aberdeen 'zine to the Sellik one, 'the Alternative View'. He began a strip entitled, 'the H-u-ns' where John Brown was depicted as a dress wearing knife wielding, psycho. Then, Matt McGlone took Reid to his 'zine, 'Once a Tim'. Fergus took control of ra Sellik and decided to have dearest Matt inside the tent and offered him a five year contract as a Sellik View columnist. Gordon Reid received the same contract; of course, the strip became, 'the Celts' but it was the same characters. You see the journey, from Rangers hating in Dandy 'zine, to official Rangers hatred in official club organ? It's all a well rehearsed and choreographed piece of theater with BIG Am-Dram Quine, Richard Gordon leading this Sunday's anticipation. All the usual players will contribute their venom, it's quite an act, hissing and spitting at the same time. The Producer will have the appropriate texts and e-mails ready to support Chris McLaughlin and Liam McLeod. The amplification will be up for any chanting worthy of report. Similarly, the knob will turned to eleven if Joe Garner raises an arm. The banners and the songs from the home support will be cheeky and good natured craic. Even engraving a rancid comment about the Ibrox Disaster into the metal of the Rangers team bus will be quietly put to bed. A hotel car park with CCTV, and yet no one sees it, no one questioned, no one charged, no one investigated. BBC Scotland refused to discuss it on grounds of, 'taste'. As for my team, I agree with Frankie below and I hope Rangers and Rangers supporters maintain their discipline. I hope for 1-1.

It means I have just returned this afternoon, after spending five days in Southport with two octogenarians(Mother and Aunt) and as yet, have NOT penned the match preview. I will have something filling the vacuum in a few hours. Although, I could leave it to nature; apparently hates vacuums.

I seem to remember the problem with a 'Backsie' was after conceding, they were back out. A system that seems to encourage conceding goal after goal. No, put the boay wi the big ears in goal, that's his position.

I find that quite heartening. Obviously, Emerson's performance at ra Stydome has Brendan slightly unnerved. a semi-final approaches and the pressure of the Treble must be relieved. Issue some disinformation and unsettle the player; dozens of Yahoo journos will be willing to pose the relevant questions to the Rangers manager and on loan player. Brendan has spoken. Or, Rod Petrie has asked Big Peter for another emergency loan signing for next season. Lenny has identified Hyndman, compliant Rod is anxious to maintain his status as Big Peter's favourite Toady and secure Hibs status as ra Sellik's favoured feeder club. Scott Allan, Liam Henderson, and Chris Commons are in a collective state of high dungeon.

I blame Ally McCoist. I believe this is Neil's tenth ordering from the field? Really, it should be his eleventh. Remember ra Sellik's visit to Pittodrie to play ICT? Neil falling to the ground clutching his face after ICT player, Juanjo kneed him on the back of his thigh? Now, that was embarrassing! We await the Scottish Government booking Glasgow University for a summit on sectarianism, that Jim Duffy is an anti-Irish bigot. We await several articles on depression, and no one will mention Neil's partnership with top Provo, Slab Murphy in a failed NI land deal. Situation, no change.

I am sure the story I heard about his decision to leave the cloistered existence of the priesthood is untrue? Apparently, quite a number of priests with a passing interest in the ggs, would gamble their meager remuneration and lose. Dipping into parish funds would become a temptation. Martin has been the horse racing correspondent at a number of blatts. I cannot believe he would succumb to lack of financial integrity; however, I wouldn't bet on it.

Pat really has an eye for a youth player? Or, is it with his hair weave in place, he is just another rent a mouth? Back in the day, when his beloved Sellik wanted to sign a Japanese youngster, and all ten non-EU permits had been issued; Pat Chaired the panel that decided Koki Mizuno that secured said work permit. Pat stated, "he is the best I have seen at this level". Koki went on to make 11 first team appearances in three seasons, half a dozen as a substitute. Appropriately, Pat resides in Duns. Next week, Pat tells the readership what Peter wants him to say, and is currently considering, how many angels can balance on the head of a pin?

Older Gersnetters will remember Hamilton Acas of forty-odd years past? Jan Stepek was the Chairman and Jim Smith the manager. They had hundreds of Lanarkshire schoolboys on S-Forms. Any lad that had signed said S-Form, and looking likely; then Acas were due compensation first, even though they had done nothing for his development. Basically, they signed the lads and filed the forms. It appears Chelsea are at the fore front of a similar scheme. An official investigation by the SFA saw Jim Smith banned from participation in signing youth players. I am sure the reports at the time stated a cupboard in his office had several hundred signed S-Forms. I was at Fir Park Boys' Club in the early 70s and we had Billy Lamont and Sammy Campbell telling us NOT to entertain Acas. Guys who made a good living from football in our crop ie Gordon Mair, Jim Dempsey, Paul Lamont, Ian Clinging, ...etc all benefited from honest advice. The current Chelsea situation is much different and depressing. Kids in early teenage years can transform the entire family situation by signing at sixteen. A new house and a new car(s) is most tempting when advice is being proffered.

That smells like an Andrew H Smith piece? I would pose this question to the triumphalistic former Editor of ra Sellik View. Our next MUST win game is our next game, against England at the beginning of June. Will those same six Sellik players be available on June 10th, considering Sellik's Champions League commitments starting a few weeks later? I suspect Peter will have a word with Stewart, he'll have a word with Gordon, ........etc. Oh, and Andrew, you'll be having a different word with your readership. You will be compliant, like all other broadcast and print outlets; you will echo Davie(Provo)Provan's reaction to last night's team announcement, "you can't really argue with it".

Peter tells Stewart. Stewart tells Gordon. Gordon tells the media.

Joe O'Rourke's official designation is, 'General Secretary of the Celtic Supporters' Association'. He came to prominence a couple of years past when he used his weekly homily to wish more Harland and Wolfe workers had sailed on the Titanic's maiden voyage, because they were all protestant. Whether you think Mad Joe is medically ill or he is a bigot; it is a disgrace that neither the membership of the CSA or the club itself have demanded his removal.

Nil by Mouth should be issuing a statement reference Sellik's supporters' association chief, Joe O'Rourke's statement yesterday. Further, Bobby Madden should be instructing his Solicitors.

We should have a sweep, as to the first Yahoo crazed journo/sub-editor to use the headline, 'No Way Pedro'? Meanwhile, tune into next week's Sellik TV, Brendan will discover penicillin live on air.

The Green Brigade have become the monster many predicted. All this olive drab uniform is derivative of early the seventies Provos. The balaclavas and dark classes are essential accessories. I believe they are receiving the necessary rewards too, several approving references in An Phoblacht(the provos newspaper). Given that many of the members are privately educated schoolbhoys, I predict 'Provo Chic' will become de rigueur.

What about Lustig halving Clint Hill in two as he shinned the ball into the net for the equaliser? Surely, worthy of a caution at least?

I would prefer Neil McCann.