26th of foot

Ask the Tambourine Man, though you may have to interrupt his jingle jangle morning.

It's the necessary background ambient mood music. Sensory Perception Loyal RSC.

Apparently, staying corrected is the thing? I hear there is a mature lady in the west end of Glasgow, who for remuneration ensures you are the subject of correction. Employs a tambourine to tear striplings of flesh from your buttocks, whilst shouting, 'hallelujah'. A spiritual correction.

Exhale!

Canon Tom of Finland enjoys blowing whistles and being the sole arbiter of the game.

It's a class thing. PQ broadcasting at the weekend went thus : On Saturday the guests on the Stuart and Tam show were Tam McManus and Keith Somebody(cast member of Sellik the Musical) during the first half. The second half had Paul English(former Daily Record entertainments Journo, now lecturing in Creative Writing) and James McFadden. I suspect the hosts have to speak to their Producer, four Yahoos in one day is NOT balance. Remember, you are broadcasting to the supporters of 42 clubs in Scotland. Sportsound was the usual Big Dick, Wullie Miller, Billy Dodds, Peter Houston, and Scot McDonald in the studio. A dozen others were live at various grounds during 'Open All Mikes', including the token, Derek Ferguson. They had a ten minute interview with former Rangers player, Charlie Adam. He was impressed with Gerrard as a club mate at Liverpool, provided a bit of insight, and proclaimed his family as Rangers supporters. He was delighted with Stevie G's management style, taking the club forward to a position where they might challenge ra Sellik. Further, he expressed his belief that Rangers chasing ra Sellik and vice-versa was good for Scottish football. As a fan, he retained aspirations and hoped for improvement. Big Dick thought he sounded disrespectful, Wullie Miller went on a rant about disrespecting all of Scottish football, Aberdeen in particular, and concluded Rangers had caused tremendous turmoil several years past and should show contrition, whilst remaining humble. Billy Dodds(no longer a Rangers supporter) took the opportunity to cement a season of PQ remuneration by sticking the boot in, flashing his Dandy Don playing credentials and reminding those listening that Aberdeen had finished second four seasons in a row. An honest player provides an interview and they ambush him, a two minute morality lecturette from a Bankrupt who couldn't run a chip shop, followed by a penitent sook condemned to carry his EBT around the PQ atrium on a daily basis. Sunday had Big Dick, Rob McLean, Chris McLaughlin, Billy Dodds, and Wullie Miller all watching Rangers live for the first time this season. Big Dick informed us that the Token and his wife, Carol were present at Pittodrie to view their son, Lewis play. They were being treated to Dons hospitality and enjoying it enormously, Big Dick speculated that the Token was of the mind to begin singing the Aberdeen anthem, 'Stand Free'. Rob McLean had no idea why Kevin Clancy flashed the red card at Morelos but speculated he had lashed out, again. Chris McLaughlin informed the listenership that he had been standing beside fourth official, Don Robertson when he alerted the Ref' to the Columbian's kick-out. Big Dick calmed everyone down, Michael Stewart had scrolled the incident back and forth and Alfredo was guilty as sin. Gerrard took a different view and he was routinely ridiculed. They all chorused that the Rangers manager lacked class. More morality tales ensued. They did NOT include Reinhardt's demand for Filip Sebo to be transferred to Edinburgh Zoo for exhibition, the Bankrupt's demand for contrition, Billy EBT's numerous sackings(Dundee, Dundee United, Queen of the South, Ross County, ...... etc) for knowing the square root of fcuk all about football, Rob McLean's lack of financial integrity(remember your Tom Shields Diary entry Rob?), Michael Stewart losing the SNP's PPC for Edinburgh South to Michelle Thompson, .................. etc. It was a classy weekend for the PQ crew, the Token was attending Dons hospitality and preparing to sing, 'Stand Free'. Pyoor class.

Does Barisic come with the head bandage, or is that extra? I was impressed too, looking forward to seeing our own Rab C run out at Ibrox.

I note that both BBC Radio Scotland and Sky TV are at pains NOT to mention the name of the Assistant Referee that flagged for the ordering off of Morelos. Chris McLaughlin has confirmed through the auspices of Fourth Official, Don Robertson that Morelos was dismissed for violent conduct.

Jersey tugged in the act of shooting at goal, a red card?

No worries, it was a most happy ending. They got fcuked and let's hope none of the nobodies lived happily ever after. Jum Spence showing appropriate contrition Loyal RSC.

I have waited until all the Euro ties involving Scottish clubs were over, before commenting on PQ's inevitable particular take on events. Wednesday the 25th July, it's ra Sellik at ra Stydome against Rosenberg. The usual team assemble, Big Dick presenting, Liam McLeod commentating, Pat Bonner and Scot McDonald cheering on, and Tom English and Chris McLaughlin painting a varnish on all things Sellik. Suffice to say, the mantra that evening being broadcast on the PQ PA system was, 'ra Sellik are carrying the standard for Scotland'. It was strange hearing the three biggest exponents of ra Sellik flying the Scottish flag were two Irishmen, and an Australian. Chris didn't say much; well, he was wrapped in ra Sellik flag. The next night saw Rangers, Aberdeen, and Hibs compete in the Europa Cup qualifying rounds. Big Dick was most excited, his beloved Dandies were at home to Pittodrie and he was on the gantry, with Wullie Miller, and Tom English. Billy Dodds was inside PQ Towers, watching all games on TV. Chris had untangled himself from the flag and was on roving reporter around the toilet known as Pittodrie. Live commentary ensued. Brian McLaughlin was at Easter Road and we received interviews with Neil Lennon and a several minute discussion among the Gantry Three of Hibs chances of progression. Reporter, Al Lamont was in Croatia(sounded like a telephone box at the Hydro) and he gave us the Rangers team. Half time found the AmDram Quine breathless, winning one zip and he demanded full praise from Tom English. He reminded the listenership that Al Lamont was in Croatia and said, "we will get to Al in a minute" five times over the fifteen minutes of half time. Billy Dodds queered the pitch, Aberdeen's penalty was never a penalty, Big Dick did not go back to him over the quarter of an hour. Chris McLaughlin paid homage to the Dandies, and Brian lionised the Hibbies winning two nil at Easter Road. When Dick got to Al(in a minute), the second half had already kicked-off in Croatia. I returned to the pub to view events in Osijek. The end of the evening saw a very excited Big Dick continue cascading kudos on Scotland's second best team. It took twenty minutes to get to Al and he inquired, "was it a deserved win Al"? This week saw the usual presenter on the Wednesday, Liam Mcleod in Norway, Pat and Scot with Big Dick in Glasgow. The message was the same, the flag fluttered in the cool Nordic breeze. All hail hail! Last night was hilarious, PQ Towers had Dick and Chick Young in situ'. Liam McLeod was in Burnley with Steven Thompson and Chris McLaughlin. Lot's of interviews, lots of build up. Brian McLaughlin in Greece interviewed Lennon again and since the game began at seven O'Clock, lots of cutting to Greece for updates. The Pensioner watched the telly and gave us the Rangers team. Every wheeze and fart of the brave reds in Lancashire was broadcast live. Dick and Liam bemoaned Aberdeen's luck in drawing the team that finished seventh in the Premiership, other teams got it easier. Even if they managed to qualify, a trip to Turkey awaited, where's the justice as other teams had Molde and Maribor ahead. Hibs reached the next round first and Brian brought interviews with both Lennon and McGinn. Eventually, Chico reported our qualification and Gerrard's praise for Ryan Jack. Big Dick could contain himself no more, ridiculing such a view point. Chico placated Big Dick by stating his favourite Aberdeen player was, Neil Simpson. The conclusion is the season starts this weekend and none of Beeb Scotland's football personnel have seen Rangers playing live as yet. Two of them have pulled the PQ naughty step gig and have had to watch Rangers on the box, once each. It won't stop them offering ill-informed negative opinions. As license paying Bears, we wouldn't have it any other way because, we wouldn't get it another way. The HATE is strong at PQ.

Aberdeen 0 Rangers 2. FGS : Morelos.

After the conclusion of World War Two, Scottish football reconvened for season 1946/47. In the intervening seventy-two seasons, we have only faced Aberdeen in a League Championship opener on two occasions. This Sunday's match will be the third, all three have been/are Pittodrie fixtures. Thus, league beginnings with the Dandies are the proverbial hen's teeth. Looking at the previous collectors' items might show a way ahead for two days hence? Season '77/78 was a tumultuous roller coaster ride for Bears. The previous season had seen Rangers set up to defend their Treble, but failed abjectly. The close season was seemingly uneventful, the Coop had arrived for £100,000 from Clydebank and we sold Ian McDougall to Dundee for £15,000. Oh, and we paid Shettleston Juniors £2,000 for the mercurial Bobby Russell. I traveled on the Tannochside RSC bus to FurryBoots City on the morning of the 13th of August, and collective optimism was low. The midfield needed new legs and a Junior player was not the answer. Inside the Paddock, the gloom deepened as the Rangers team was announced; McCloy, Jardine, Forsyth, Jackson, Miller, Russell MacDonald, MacKay, Parlane, Robertson, and Cooper. The Junior, a teenage winger, Billy MacKay, and the diminutive forward Chris Robertson(older brother of Hearts, John) all starting at Pittodrie failed to inspire confidence. The game began with the Don's Drew Jarvie scoring in the second minute and we had to survive a few more near things before Cooper and Russell revealed a near telepathic relationship. We played our way into the game and deservedly drew level on the half hour, Russell finishing a lovely move. Heightened spirits at half time soon dissipated when Jarvie and Joe Harper struck twice inside a minute on the hour. Boos rang around the away support as the most promising teenager, MacKay was substituted by Bobby McKean. In the wake of an opening day 3-1 defeat, the journey home on the bus was most fractious. An assurance from the Bus Convener that Gordon Smith was signing for the club on Monday and £400,000(Parlane plus £200,000) had been offered to Leeds United for their young Scots centre half, Gordon McQueen was not deemed helpful, Smith was a fan dancer! We regained the Treble at the culmination of the season. Russell, Cooper, and Gordon Smith played significant parts. DJ notched forty goals and John Greig became the first player since Davie Meiklejohn, over half a century before, to be awarded a Testimonial. Colin Stein was released on a Free. Tragically, Bobby McKean was found dead inside his car, and our manager, Jock Wallace resigned after securing two Trebles in three seasons. John Greig was appointed manager of Rangers the very next day. We must spring forward thirty-four years to the 28th July'01 for our second Hill'o'Dung opener. Circumstances were vaguely similar, a chastened Dick Advocaat led Rangers to the reflecting light of the grey granite. MON had put his gas at a peep, and the city of energy was not keen on reigniting his enthusiasm. It was reported that Rangers players and staff had been out their beds twice due to bogus fire alarms, the usual suspects sniggered at their discomfort, promising it would only get worse. They had not graduated to etching Ibrox Disaster slurs on the team bus, that would come later. Pittodrie was a sun drenched toilet that day, Rangers lined up as follows : Klos, Ricksen, Moore, Vidmar, Numan, Reyna, Latapy, Konterman, Nerlinger, Caniggia, and Mols. Interestingly, Rangers had just returned from Slovenia, where they had defeated Maribor three zip, and the midweek exertions were clearly visible in an uninspiring goalless first half. Rangers increased the pace after the restart and the Dons Struggled, three goals in twenty minutes turned the sheep to mutton. Nerlinger clipped a twenty yarder into the net, Latapy dispatched a penalty, and Caniggia followed in on a spilled Miller shot. A successive three nil away win should have inspired confidence to kick-on, but we drew nil nil with newly promoted Livi' at Ibrox the following Saturday. By mid-season, we had lost sight of ra Sellik and were fighting off a rejuvenated Hibs under McLeish. We had progressed in the UEFA Cup, but lost out to Feyenoord by the odd goal in seven at the quarter-final stage. Dick resigned, became Director of Football, appointed Eck and we went on to win both the League Cup and Scottish Cup finals against ra Sellik. Who can forget Lovenkrand's last minute header, or the sharp crack of 25,000 seats snapping back as the green'n'grey hordes rushed to depart a truly joyous national stadium? Sunday's early kick-off will be a trial for both teams. Recovery from Thursday evening's trials and tribulations will demand fresher legs. I suspect the first half will be a territorial battle and thus hope McCrorie starts beside Jack. Either Arfield or Coulibaly for the third midfield berth. Further, Murphy's fresher legs on the flank. I would go with : McGregor, Tavernier, Goldson, Katic, Flanagan, Jack, McCrorie, Coulibaly, Candeias, Morelos, and Murphy. After an hour, when football breaks out, Kent, Middleton, Ejeria, etc will have a part to play. I hope for a two nil victory? Whether this fixture is as seminal in the coming season as the previous two proved to be, is any ones' guess. Would we sacrifice the result for an improving performance, leading to silverware later in the season? The only remaining question is who will BBC Scotland target for further attention from the Compliant Officer? Big Dick Gordon hates McGregor, despises Morelos, and fulminates at the mention of Ryan Jack. Deciding vote becomes the responsibility of Liam McLeod, Wullie Miller, Billy Dodds, Chris McLaughlin, and Jonathon Sutherland. Does an unanimous decision await?

Chris McLaughlin was on both BBC Scotland TV and Radio midweek offering the same opening line, "this all began three, four years ago in England ..................". There you go, when Brazil, McLuskey, et al went into the witness box, swore on oath, bravely told of their personal experience and anguish, ..................... etc in 1988; it didn't happen. It's Pol Pot and Year Zero for the shill of CFC. Torbet and Cullen were not convicted and sentenced. Oh, and another thing, the ongoing Torbet case was discontinued for ................................... no one knows! When will it restart, was it awkward and inconvenient for it to run interference on the Chris McLaughlin message? Chris makes statements, he has been trusted to safely navigate the good ship, ? to calmer waters. Now we know why Ian Maxwell was appointed as Regan's successor.

Rangers are actively attempting to establish new, much needed revenue streams. The Fanzone is an excellent idea, it ticks a lot of boxes for both the club and support. Rangers are proposing to hire the pitch every other Saturday(between the hours of 11am to 7pm), to set up the necessary administration to run a Fanzone ie awnings, marquees, child play areas/activities, .... etc. Glasgow City Council were happy with the arrangements and the proposal looked set to be given approval. Two local Councillors, Stephen Dornan and Ricky Bell(both SNP) decided against the proposal; Bell advertised for objections to the proposal. He participates on the Cessnock/Ibrox Community Council, and utlised this organisation as the main means of objection. It's a text book copy of Resident Association tactics so often used in Northern Ireland. Both Dornan and Bell are driving forces behind the Ibrox Parking Restrictions policy. They want to use the Rangers support as a revenue raiser, whilst denying the club the opportunity to do likewise.

A big well done to Tam Cowan yesterday. There was a two minute discussion on the ongoing plight of Dundee United, all the expected platitudes to the fore. Big club suffering hard times, beginning a third season in the second tier, supporters deserting, ...... etc. Cat Harvey eulogising those Arabs travelling all the way to Elgin for a dead rubber match for both teams. Tam offered, "diehards, real diehards, still the Rangers support is enjoying it all enormously". How true.

Elements of the Yahoo support will be fulminating at their club's statement referring to our club as, 'Rangers'; times thrice.

I would be happy to preview Aberdeen at Pittodrie?

STV running a story that Hearts have rejected a £200,000 bid for Lafferty from Rangers.

The next Gersnet Podcast must be, 'Pete Demonstrates concurrent activity'. A bright future awaits on QVC.

That is quite an admission, you talk to your wife?

It's quite simple Keef. Pep owns 90% of the lad, all four limbs and torso; Brenda's only interest is Daniel's head and arse.

Genuinely, I am confused! Is there a suggestion that Chris is romantically linked with Eilidh Barbour? Connie will be raging, if so.

Thomas Cook statement. Rangers have drawn clubs in Macedonia, Croatia, and Slovenia. Once again, we cannot provide a travel package as Slovenia also ends in, 'ia'.

I believe we have drawn Maribor?