26th of foot

Cosgrove was cock-a-hoop on BBC Radio Scotland yesterday. He wanted to know if the new compliance officer with same spelling of Whyte with a 'y' and the same first initial, 'c' will do as much for Scottish football? He was laughing as he delivered the line.

Highlight yesterday arrived at the culmination of the Dunfermline - Hearts League Cup tie. The cast is Allan Preston, Michael Stewart, and Richard Gordon. Thus, two Hearts supporters and a self confessed Rangers hater, discuss Kyle Lafferty's next move. Big Dick is giving an item by item removal report, as Kyle throws his kit into the mass of Jambos behind the goals. He asks both Stewart and Preston if they have secured any of Lafferty's Hearts memorabilia? Mumbled negative responses are the launch pad for a synchronised maroon rant on Steven Gerrard. "It's a bit rich, Gerrard telling Bordeaux to get real on an almost £4 million bid for Morelos, whilst only offering £200,000 for Kyle Lafferty", opines Michael. Biscuits Preston piles in, "it looks like Laffrerty has played his last game for Hearts. I know he is in the last nine months of his contract but Hearts must be properly compensated". Big Dick has spent the last week dousing the flames of Acas supporters demanding adequate compensation for Lewis Ferguson, "remember it's Ferguson's performances for Hamilton that will be debated by the panel, his goal against Burnley and other Dons performances do not come into it. There is no way he is worth a further £250,000". Hypocrisy does not stop Big Dick telling an enraged Michael and Biscuits that Lafferty was top Premiership goal scorer last season and if you had a choice between Lafferty and Morelos, you would pick Lafferty! Big Dick will NOT forgive Morelos, he was deservedly red carded at his beloved hill'o'dung. As Stewart and Preston continued to flabber their ghasts at the neck of Stevie G, Big Dick's memory fail failed him again, as he conveniently forgot he has NEVER missed an opportunity to lampoon Lafferty over his reaction to Mulgrew's head going forward at Ibrox 8-9 years previously. Suddenly, Kyle is a treasure trove of all that is good in Scottish, and turn the amplification down on Lewis Ferguson, he's only worth £100,000. Forgiveness awaits any footballer, even Lafferty, if he becomes a club to beat Rangers. At least Big Dick doesn't want to exhibit Kyle at Edinburgh Zoo, yet?

Listening, watching, and reading this week's PQ content, it appears they have settled into the fugue state of, 'sullen resentment'.

Part timer.

I am not suggesting that is the reason; however, such a traumatising event will have an impact.

At the culmination of season'97-98, ra Sellik stopped Rangers attempt at ten-in-a-row. Vim Jansen's men triumphed at home in the last fixture against St Johnstone. Jim White was working the game for STV/Radio Clyde. He left the ground ninety minutes after the game ended. He drove from the car park, down Kerrydale Street and gave way at London Road. His car was surrounded by Yahoos, they rocked the car, forced opened his driver's door, dragged him out and assaulted him. He was given medical emergency on scene treatment, taken to A and E by ambulance, and detained for two nights due to concussion caused by several blows to the head. The Police discontinued investigation into the communal assault due to a lack of forth coming evidence, very few witnesses, no one identified. Maybe, Jim has reasons to be wanting to be seen to bend over backwards towards ra Sellik?

Apologies for the tardiness of this contribution covering last weekend, but other aspects of life have intervened. Good to see debate continues. When starting this discussion, the intention was to have a vehicle similar to the Rangers Tax Case Blog, a reference library of events, contributions, he said/she said, main players, occasional characters, ..................etc. Of course, the RTC Blog was taken down over night, a million impressions disappeared in an instant, it had done it's job. The language and phraseology utilised while debating Rangers became dominated by RTC Blogisms, everything was on an industrial scale. Maintaining the hate at PQ is hard work, it requires constant discipline. Further, it requires fellow travelers, already on message to contribute. Last weekend, the PQ mindset is Morelos is guilty and deserving of a red card. The fact his red had been rescinded, along with three others from last season is not a pattern worthy of debate, not a single word on the matter. Reinforcing the message is most important and to that mind, PQ produced former Referee, Steve Conroy. Big Dick wanted insight on the feelings of officials being undermined by the Compliance/Appeals procedure. Sometimes the satire writes itself, who on the Production team thought that Steve Conroy would be compliant to articulating the vague, unquantifiable force lurking in the depths? Rangers is the bogey man, and the sinister spectre rapaciously devouring all that is pure, is Jim Traynor. Seriously, Steven Gerrard has arrived in Scottish football, looked at the empirical evidence from last season and concluded three red card rescindments is most unusual. However, according to BBC Scotland, Gerrard did not rationalise this on his own, Jim Traynor intervened, and proffered advice that led Stevie to the dark side. Whilst Big Dick and Conroy performed the rehearsed choreography on officials lacking the necessary confidence to continue making the correct decisions; those queuing up to point the finger and scream, 'Traynor' were numerous. Alan Stubbs, the manager of St Mirren, Rangers next opponents provided a several minute video interview. He warned Stevie G to be careful who you listen to, not all advice is good advice. Tam McManus gave over his entire Herald column and appearance on the Beeb to caution Gerrard too. Michael Stewart pitied the Rangers gaffer, Billy Dodds labeled the Liverpudlian, 'naive'. There were ranks of choristers filling the middle register, the refrain was, 'you have a place, we have created a place, stay in your place'. For the record, the two on the naughty step on Sunday were Gordon Smith and Rob McLean. Stubbs appeared on the bat phone post match, I am sure it was prior agreed on the back of the interview provided. Gerrard's post match interview drew an indication of no appeal against McCrorie's red, and an admission of Rangers being the recipients of too many cards. Big Dick, Rob McLean, Michael stewart, ..... et al welcomed Stevie back into the light. They don't get it, like Pittodrie's conclusions were based on Gerrard's insistence that his comments belonged to, "today". All that flowed from the Beeb was because they deliberately dropped that word, it did not suit their pre-conceived agenda. These things could be cleared if PQ would interview Gerrard. They cannot bring themselves to overcome the significant hurdle of Chris McLaughlin's vanity.

Aw naw! Apparently, AEK have fielded an ineligible player, their final substitute who came on durung the 90th minute. How much good fortune can be visited upon one club? Nah, just kiddin', that was for ra Yahoos looking in.

As Brenda ra Philosopher remarked to a pensive Gollom fingering his ring, 'that's the difference between Sellik and Olivia Newton-John'. What is the difference master? 'Olivia never got fcuked in Grease', boom boomed Brenda. Apparently, Brenda is here for at least the next week.

The Field of Athens Cries. Feta Tragedy? Who pissed in Brenda's retsina? Some of the headlines you won't hear on BBC Scotland.

Remember, ra Sellik have been carrying the standard for Scottish football? All our thoughts must be focused on the Euro-Coefficient. Ah mean, ra Sellik have just installed the bestest ever £2 million disco lights for Champions League evenings at ra Stydome. Sellik's skipper, ra Broonaldo deserves a CL visit to Copenhagen where he can chew da Lego at Legoland like a Yahoo possessed.

When they opened Sellik Park 1889, one of the Directors, Michael Glass built his own personal stand. It was called, 'the Glass Stand' after the family name, but was also glass enclosed. All monies went to Michael Glass. Over the decade, it proved unpopular, the club said it was the level of condensation that was the problem. Of course, it was another sensory perception that was being assaulted, the nose. Here's me thinking the problem was the stand was full of Yahoos!

Genuinely, it's difficult for the Yahoos, they have to sell the top deck too.

The review took place this afternoon and the conclusion is no action to be taken against Brown, or Naismith for his altercation with Jonny Hayes. Tonight, Broonaldo sits in Athenian Taverna, dining on a bowl of Lego and Feta.

No, that was the reaction from BBC Scotland's Outside Broadcast team.

Marcel Marceau could scan anything, marvelous interpretation.

Attempting to sing descant is most difficult. The UB should attempt 'Le Boudin', a descant chant by the Foreign Legion. You cannot beat a good song about Black Pudding?

A Naughty Step for Two. BBC Scotland again decided to base themselves at Easter Road, providing live commentary on the Europa Cup qualifier between Hibs and Molde. Thus, it's Big Dick, Rob McLean, Brian McLaughlin, Peter Houston, and Michael Stewart. Interviews before and after with both managers, Neil Lennon and Ole Gunnar Solskaer. It's a full and comprehensive service. At Ibrox, the service is less than complete; actually it's a honed, particular service provided to Rangers supporting license fee payers. Two St Mirren supporters are sat on the PQ naughty step, inside PQ watching Rangers TV, whilst eschewing their view. The euphemisms most utilised by Big Dick is, "keeping an eye on events" or, "monitoring events as they unfold at Ibrox". Both Chick Young and Steven Thompson sitting in a room failed to channelise the palpitating excitement being generated at a heaving Ibrox. Pre-match, Big Dick reminded us all that Maribor were the scourge of Scottish clubs these last several years. They had knocked out Aberdeen, Hibs, Rangers, and ra Sellik. Thompson thought it would take a couple of exceptional Rangers performances to progress. Michael Stewart opined Rangers good fortune in the draw, if they could defeat Maribor the succeeding draw was far kinder than it had been to Hibs. Aberdeen had the worse draw, Big Dick was anxious to agree. Thomson's half time report was fairly accurate, if a tad downbeat. Rangers started well, went ahead, had a mad minute with the offside goal being immediately followed by Maribor's equaliser. Half time had arrived fortuitously for Rangers, Maribor were motoring and created several excellent chances. Chick Young offered that Tavernier had intercepted and dispossessed Suler before playing a forward pass to Morelos? More accurately, it was Candeias who intercepted and Morelos failed to stay behind the square pass. Further, Chick thought our first goal, "was probably offside"! Chick is one of a triumvirate of Pensioners at PQ, all in their sixty-seventh years, along with DrStu' a Yahoo, Hugh MacDonald. They will do what they are told to keep the remuneration flowing, all establishment men. During live commentary at Easter Road, Rob McLean interceded the nil-nil excitement to inform, "it remains one all at Ibrox", ten minutes after Rangers had gone 2-1 ahead. Oh, and Chick Young was firm, "a dive from Morelos". I guess Suler's full hand grasping the back of the Buffalo's jersey doesn't count? Steven's EBT weights heavy and he reported that Rangers had played further up the park, increased the tempo, keeping Maribor on the back foot; but we got the breaks. Both Buddies reckoned our third goal had been handled into the net. Chick was specific, "it was Coulibaly's bicep that put the ball in". Inaccurate again, it was the top of the Frenchman's shoulder. The recent arrival at PQ, Well' fan, Scot Mullen did the match report and it was a ton more positive than the supporters of St Boo. I don't know if Mullen attended the Stadium, but appeared genuinely delighted at a Scottish club notching a result in Europe. Big Dick eventually agreed, another wonderful midweek for Scottish football. Another point on PQ yesterday, they have a two minute video of Alan Stubb's take on Morelos having his red card rescinded. He is unequivocating, a player kicks out, it's a red card, and he wants to know who made the decision otherwise? It's a grey area, happens to other players at other clubs, the precedent has been set. Of course, Alan has been out of the Scottish game for eighteen months, Rotherham sacked him in short time. He may not be aware that Rangers had three red cards rescinded last season, yep that's right precedents have been set. Stubb's deliberately runs interference on Sunday's events. He voiced concern at officials being downgraded this coming weekend, they did nothing wrong. Of course, Alan is correct, both Clancy and McGeachie(the Linesman) did nothing wrong, they did NOT react to the incident. The Ref' did not blow and the Linesman did not flag. Big Dick let the cat out of the bag at half time at Pittodrie, he told us that it was Fourth Official, Don Reobertson with BBC Scotland's Chris McLaughlin standing next to him, who flagged the incident to the Ref', by radio mike. Thus, two Buddies on the naughty step, a Fourth Official not demoted, taking charge at Ibrox on Sunday against St Mirren, and the St Boo manager all pile in, on deliberate inaccuracy.

I loved that, absolutely loved it as much as the PQ haters hated it. We stood toe to toe in the second half, bravely went hammer and tongs and deserved the victory, and the margin of victory.

Car Wash Wars. As stated, BBC Scotland's football coverage was guillotined rather abruptly last evening. A number of pans simmering on the Beeb hob, all came to the boil. McLaughlin's several minute pre-match interview with Brenda, was six minutes longer than his staccato post-match conversation. Fifteen minutes prior to kick-off, the John McGinn story was being confirmed, he was signed and photographed in the Villa training kit. Big Dick expressed surprise, a player from the Sellik family choosing Villa over ra Bhoys. Bonner agreed, he felt it was a mistake all round, for both player and ra Sellik. McDonald provided real insight; Sellik has four tiers of wage structure and McGinn was probably offered tier one, Villa would easily trump such an offer. Later, he confirmed his sources had confirmed a Villa wage at least three times that of ra green'n'grey. Again, McLaughlin entered the fray to say that his sources expressed regret at Brenda's weekend moaning. McDonald pushed him, and McLaughlin revealed a couple of members of ra Sellik Board had been unhappy at Brenda going public with his concerns. Clearly, the club/PLC Board had briefed against Brenda, utilising the shill that is Chris McLaughlin. Post match, positions had been taken and Brenda removed the bucket and sponge from the Shill. The word is that the Beeb's Production team are Brenda loyalists and rather than allow air team to reveal a clear split, the broadcast was curtailed and output returned to the Quay Sessions. Will the PQ CSC have an accepted, agreed line to broadcast tonight/weekend? I foresee a club meeting being called at Vincents to agree said line and ensure everyone is on message. Meanwhile, the Screaming Shill will have to satisfy his desire to wade up to his knees in soapy suds, by washing the Boards' cars. Briefing against Brenda, who would have thunk it; and Auntie Beeb Scotland left holding the buckets.

Sportsound went off air at 22.05hrs tonight. Strange, no post match interview with the Greek manager, and Brenda didn't want to talk much either. Don't worry, Brenda can still rely on Chris washing his car.

Tonight at ra Stydome, it's the usual crew, Big Dick, Liam McLeod, Pat Bonner, Scott McDonald, and Chris McLaughlin. Discussing Morelos having his red card rescinded, Big Dick lead with Rangers high profile manager stating decisions have regularly gone against Rangers has influenced the appeal. It's violent conduct screams Big Dick. Further, Big Dick assumes the voice of baffled Scottish football fans, it's okay to kick players, or is it just some players playing for certain clubs? McDonald jumps in, "it's an interesting decision, see what happens when your club can afford a lawyer to make the appeal". Scott wants more consistency in appeals panels decisions. He reference his own experience two seasons past, after being red carded against Rangers. Pat Bonner thinks Gerrard's intervention was wrong and he let himself down. He compares the situation with Neil Lennon, "he says anything and he's up in front of the SFA". He suggests Gerrard should receive a letter, "mark his card, does it again and he is disciplined". Really, it's no surprise that BBC Scotland are unhappy at the decision. On Sunday, they did not know why the Ref' ordered off Morelos, but it did not stop them making up any number of reasons, because they wanted him off. The exact same as last season with Ryan Jack, that's real consistency. Of course, it could all be easily resolved. Chris McLaughlin is on the show tonight and remember Big Dick told us on Sunday that Chris was standing next to Fourth Official, Don Robertson at Pittodrie, when the Ref' was alerted. Why did Big Dick not ask Chris what he said to the Fourth Official? We should be told.

Jackie McNamara receives a percentage of transfer fees for at least three high profile players, rumoured to be approaching six figures. Move it on a couple of years and he is Director of Football at York City and he is caught twice deliberately avoiding paying his train fare from Edinburgh to York. It mirrors his journey from most likely up and coming young Scots manager, and media darling(penned a play performed at the Edinburgh Festival) to where is he now status. I suspect Jackie suffered from unedifying avarice?

I am hearing the operation was carried out by the Red Sand Commandos. Bucket and Spade Loyal RSC.

Although I am currently 150 miles south of Stonehaven, I have heard on good authority that it was a Bobby Sands Castle that was demolished.