26th of foot

I take it that's the away dug-out? Better safe than sorry, the plastic barrier is most necessary when considering whose butts will be in contact with that gloriously blue fabric. I have have always suspected Lennon to be a nose picker and habitual spreader?

Reference the future of Chris McLaughlin. The new BBC Scotland news channel is expected to launch in February'19. There have been some releases on those staffing the channel. The sharp end Presenters are Martin Geisler(a Jambo) and Rebecca Curran(A Dandy). The News Editor is James Cook(Arab). We remember Cook as the interviewer of McCoist six years past. He, and his then Producer both apologised for deliberately editing their several minute piece, to make it look like McCoist took the subject of sectarianism, flippantly. Basically, they cut the film of McCoist laughing at the start of the interview and spliced it in to his answers on sectarianism. Cook was rewarded with being promoted to the post of BBC's North American correspondent. Chris McLaughlin's new designation is primarily with the new channel, he is effectively the Sports Editor. It is beginning to look like the new channel will be populated with those who have performed a rite of passage?

European nights that come to mind are Bayern, Parma, Leeds United, Kiev, and Juve. Domestically, my particular favourite was the early seventies against them. It was New Year. we won 2-1 with a last minute header by Alfie Conn. We sang, 'who put the ball in the Sellik net' for years; well, until Conn signed for them in 1977. A special mention for our Centenary match versus Arsenal. The estimated attendance that evening was 90,000. Rangers had charged 1873 prices for entrance, a shilling (five pence). Of course, Rangers first season, 1872/3, the club played on the tidal flood plane at Fleshers' Haugh and there was no charge. I believe the first charges were applied at Burnbank in 1874?

A figure o fun is just a bluff, so give yourself a treat, A figure o fun ain't so tough, so give yourself a seat, He's a pysh-stained alchy, a fairly tall dead-beat, A figure o fun is just the stuff, to give yourself a treat. The Cadbury family are Quakers. They tempered chocolate whilst imbued with temperance. The art of tempering puts the glow on chocolate. Apparently abstinence provides an inner glow? By the time this practice reached Ardrossan, it became corrupted and local bhoy Jim was furiously polishing turds. Practice makes perfect, and to this day no one can put a shine on a shit like Delahunt. On Friday last, he announced on social media that he was NOT impressed with Rangers second half performance against Rapid Vienna. He urged his followers to get a wedge on Hearts for the coming Sunday at Ibrox. Jim is much loved by Bookies, their children are privately educated on the back of the former Scotsport presenter's punts. Jim boasts continually of holding accounts with all major Turf Accountants. Bears disagreeing with Jim's jaundiced view were met with further pleas to get the mortgage on his tip, because the prices will only fall, after Hearts victory. This morning, Jim decided to desist with the elbow grease. He has withdrawn from social media, because Bears and some others questioned his advice. Well, Jim claims those complaining are imbued with bigotry and wants to protect his children from such scourge. After Murty's dismissal, Jim joined in on the fun. Suggestions by DrStu' and Jum Spence that Rangers should appoint Neil Lennon confused Delahunt. He utilised his social media accounts to broadcast to his 33,000 followers, that Lennon, nor Stevie Clarke would be considered because they were both rc. It was pointed out both Pedro and Le Guen were rc, and they were appointed. This afternoon, Jim has gone all moral. He is playing the victim card for all he is worth(after Bookies takings). Forgetfulness is a trait of alcoholism and I am sure Jim cannot remember his conviction for drink driving? Let's hope young mothers were not transporting children home from school that day! I make it three fingers of fudge so far, that's Spiers, Angela Haggerty and Jim all taking the path of least resistance, blame Rangers supporters for their own failings. A self-help group beckons.

It's a question of balance. Twenty-four years we have suffered the constant regurgitation of 'Off the Ball'. There is a repetitive sadness in hearing a man in his sixty-eighth year attempting to recall guests, happenings, and stories. DrStu' is a Doyen of the Arts these days,the author of a trilogy on fifty year old soul music. BBC Scotland presents several opportunities each week for DrStu' to promote his wares, and increase his bank balance. He has admitted to pocketing almost fifty grand per annum two years past for presenting Off the Ball. Of course, it's the exposure provided that allows the other earners; that and his broadcast admiration of BBC Scotland Director, Donalda MacKinnon and wanting to be heard being the very epitome of a Bute House toady. He is most protective of his position, and this ensures he will trap continually to face Tam Cowan in the PQ studio. DrStu' never has any problems recalling his preferred prejudices, he hates Rangers, "h-u-ns and typical orange wankers", and the English. These days, he hates a lot more carefully. Tam Cowan put forward the reasons why Gazza was being put forward for entry into the Scottish Football Hall of Fame. DrStu' was not convinced, "these days we must be more aware of issues like violence against women". Protecting the reputation of Scottish football is a legitimate view, but is undermined by DrStu's constant support for things Neil Lennon. Two well reported cases several years apart where Lennon threatened the women in his life; texting, 'you will feel pain' and, 'I will kill you' were the highlights of numerous threats. DrStu' promoted Lennon for the national manager's job. He did add that McLeish should be ignored because he had an EBT. Didn't Neil invest in those film companies to avoid tax, and if morality is what keeps DrStu' awake at night; Neil entered into a land purchase with Slab Murphy. Interestingly, the one prominent member of the Scottish football glitterati that has not appeared on, 'On the Ball' is Chris McLaughlin. His presence was not required on Saturday, in terms of balance. Three guests, John Douglas, Eddie Reader, and Paul English. All Sellik supporters, including another sixty-seven year old, Hugh MacDonald on during the evening edition. Paul English is a PQ staffer, he had his centenary Sellik top with him, in the studio. Tam asked if he wore it during his interview to secure his BBC Scotland post? BigStu' asked if he had scared Kenny McIntyre with it? Further, he explained the panel thus, "it's a balance thing, after Kenny McIntyre had Barry Ferguson and Alex Rae on". Rae has worked for Radio Clyde since the start of the season and Ferguson last appeared last year, before announcing bankruptcy. See how DrStu' isolated the last Rangers supporter staffer in Beeb Scotland's sports? DrStu' loves a cleansing, right down to the Warren Cummings accent test. BBC Scotland, for DrStu' et al, it's a Bank Balance thing! Sunday was as expected. Big Dick, Paul Hartley, Peter Houston, Paul Mitchell, and Chris McLaughlin; all at McDairmid Park furra visit of ra Sellik. The ever excitable Rob McLean was across events at Ibrox. It started badly for Rob, and got worse. Chris intervened to interview Brenda, because as stated, "I don't like to keep Brendan waiting". The next couple of hours saw Rob's part condensed to a few lines(teams, half time and full time reports at Ibrox). The Sellik game concluded and Tommy Wright was interviewed several minutes later. Just before the football coverage finished, Chris interviewed Brenda again and it was announced that it was his last Sportsound participation. Apparently, Brenda was happy to be kept waiting? The Beeb mantra over the weekend by all the usual suspects was, 'Hearts could be eleven points ahead of Rangers by five O'Clock on Sunday". After Five we were told Hearts remained top of the SPFL, mouth watering anticipation of Sellik vs Hibs was articulated, Aberdeen were finding form, and Livi' continued to surprise. How many points Rangers were behind Hearts, is like the word, 'coefficient'; lost in the ether of broadcast.

Peter needs his car washed.

The real question is thus : who will wash Lawwell's car now?

Rangers 2 Hearts 1. FGS : Morelos.

My name is Charles Green aka Big Hauns au Normadie. Me and my bestest mate, Mike Ashley were sitting in Monaco when we lost some cash.

Please, someone remind me, what did FARE have to say about two effigies hanging from the Stand roofs of Celtic Park two years past? What did FARE have to say last month when Police Scotland announced the discontinuing of the charges against nine yahoos? What did FARE say when Celtic reissued season tickets to the nine supporters charged?

Just looked at BBC Scotland's Scottish football Website page. Steven Thomson's claim that Rangers result against Rapid was, "phenomenal" is seventh item. First item is Mulumbu's forecast that ra Sellik will defeat both Hearts and Hibs in coming weeks to return to the top of the table. Third item is Lustig confident of ra Sellik's bouncebackability, and Hearts are second with their confidence to take points at Ibrox. I should add, the word, 'coefficient' is mysteriously absent.

Not one of them mentioned the word, 'Coefficient'. We endured four years of the second best club in Scotland striving to increase the Scottish coefficient. it was always a tale of heroic failure. It became a lament, even on Saturday last, DrStu' a soulfulsaintee had the blues for Aberdeen's torment at the hands of Burnley. The Dandy Dons attempts to improve the coefficient had as much merit as 'Sell Out Saturday', just as much promotion too. All hail Aberdeen adding another .75 to the total. Of course, they turn down the volume on another Northern Light trait, the continuing feeling of immense well being that fills PQ when their fellow Dandies at ra Stydome sing, 'we hate Rangers more than you'. Pats on the heads all round. Liam McLeod was anxious to flash those particular credentials last night in Salzburg, the commentator said : 'The Scottish champions have lost to Salzburg this evening, when you say Salzburg we must remember they are last year's Europa Cup semi-finalists. Of course, Rangers face Austrian opposition at Ibrox too, Rapid Vienna are a VASTLY inferior level of opposition, finishing eighteen points behind Salzburg last season'. There was no murmur of disagreement from his co-commentator in Austria, Pat Bonner. Chris McLaughlin at pitch side did not offer an alternative either. Back in the studio, Big Dick, Wullie Miller, and Tom English kept stumm too. In fact, Big Dick just had enough time to hand over to a throaty Chic Young to provide the BBC Scotland audience with the Rangers team. As Chico voiced Kent, Morelos kicked-off. As usual, the PQ naughty step was crowded, Chic was joined by both Thommo and his EBT. No live commentary from a screen, just the occasional comment amid the struggle to get comfortable with ra Sellik's failure to add to the Scots coefficient. Comfort landed at PQ, when Wullie Miller said, "Livingston". we had tales of Jum Spence constantly arriving late at Almondvale to report on games, because the plethora of roundabouts, Big Dick only attends that part of West Lothian with the constant aid of SatNav, and Tom English regaled the listenership with the tale of a bus rear-ending him, on his way to Livi'. Wullie was explaining how easy it was to get lost in the town, when Tom intervened with, "just like Rangers". See, if they really try, they can provide build-up to a Euro Rangers game at Ibrox. I turned off my wee DAB radio and watched the match. I was impressed with the Bears organised display of, 'amid all the banners and flags'; strikingly colourful and vibrant. Chico's first comment was, "the Austrians have a banner stating, 'come on you bhoys in green', borrowed from another Glasgow club"? Big Dick laughed and uttered, "I'm sure it is". Chico made no mention of our wonderful display. There was a couple of lines at half time both scorers given, and Big Dick had the courtesy to say Rapid had a player clearly offside in the build up to their goal. I stood and applauded Rangers off the pitch and left the stadium, plugged in my radio and music was playing. In the several minutes it took to leave the ground, BBC Scotland's football coverage had ended and handed over to Travelling Folk. Once again, BBC Scotland take our license fees and fail to convey the excitement of a Scottish club once again adding to the coefficient, deliberately so. We are awkward and inconvenient Scots.

You know, last evening was quite wonderful for Lawwell. The comfortable feeling of his hair being ruffled by the cool Nordic breeze, blowing down from Braunau, birthplace of his hero. A fellow countryman and an axis ally, Minamino playing and scoring. Salzburg was particularly welcoming of the Anschluss, and the opposition spoke his language, (red)bullshit. I wonder if he considered whether Salzburg was a neutral venue?

The first half was hard work. Our midfield did not know whether to stick or twist. In possession, we were 3-4-3; out of possession, we played 4-1-4-1. The ball inside Flanagan was offside, the resultant pass was a good one, only bettered by the tackle that saw the ball break to Berisha for a simple sweep into the net. I thought we were fcuked, lots of credit for the quickest of replies, a well worked equaliser. The second half was a triumph. Twenty minutes from the end, and several Rapid players were blowing. Ejeria became a torment, good close control and little gives and goes, particularly with Kent. Rapid had racked up deserved cautions too. Morelos cut across the Rapid defender in a fluid move and the Ref' correctly awarded a penalty. Tav' stroked it into the net. The back heel from Candeias was delicious that led to the third. Flanagan was my man of the match, and the atmosphere was outstanding. I think Rapid finished with six players booked, they could not stay with us in the second half.

One must marvel at Nestle, there's a diktat for everyone. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, orange flavoured, mint flavoured, cookies and cream flavoured, ...... etc. There's even a Discriminatory Diktat, wrapped in vivid green'n'grey packaging. Peter has a break, has a diktat.

Is discriminatory concomitant with diktat?

I have read ra Sellik's statement. I hope it was penned in green ink. I love the use of the word, 'diktat'. I wonder if they are capable of including the word, 'cahoots' in their next statement?

The game kicks-off at 16.30hrs, it should be finished by 18.30hrs. If the majority of supporters' buses are on the road by 19.00hrs, can our supporters from Northern Ireland catch the last ferry from Cairn Ryan? Similarly, if extra-time and penalties ensue, can the same supporters catch a sailing on a Sunday night at all?

I am just old enough to remember ra Sellik forcing UEFA to redraw the first round of the European Cup in 1968. They did not want to travel to Prague because of the Soviet occupation. The deposed Czech leader, Dubcek was a devout rc and Sir Robert Kelly wanted to be seen supporting his faith.

Ra Sellik are saying if their match is confirmed as being switched to Murrayfield, they want a redraw of the semi-finals. Why don't we play both ties(whatever they are) at Croke Park? Or, Tokyo if that suits Lawwell's long standing proposed tour of Japan?

Dear Deidre, I have an NBC suit in the loft, charcoal lined, both cotton and rubber gloves, rubber boots, and respirator. My NBC haversack includes three combo pens, naps tablets, and a tub of fullers earth. Last used on the Basra Road circa 92/93. Would this suffice for two hours exposure in Glasgow's most toxic environment? Further, are there any decontaminant areas in the immediate locale?

Better late than never. Saturday saw a mustering of the Red Army at the PQ gates. Big Dick lead Wullie Miller, Liam McLeod, and Jonathon Sutherland to Sellik Park. Michael Stewart joined the gathering throng, whilst Billy and his EBT squeezed into the Beeb's VAR studio. It was interesting to note Sutherland doing the tunnel/dug-out/ pitch side gig, I suspect Chris McLaughlin was consigned to Lawwell car washing duties? Such a gathering of Dandies(we should have a collective noun) is normally confined to games against Rangers at the Hill'O'Dung, it had the same effect though. Remember our last two visits amid the grey granite? A penalty that never was awarded against us, and a sending off that was duly rescinded. On both these occasions, all Dandies swore the refs' got it right, one hundred per cent spot on. When all other organisations covering the games reported differently, PQ reported their takes, but did not change their minds. Similarly, on Saturday there is a two footed lunge from McKenna on Edouard in the penalty box, all say penalty. Big Dick apologises on the Sunday for not mentioning the incident on the previous day's Open all Mikes, they didn't really think it was significant. It would appear that an exaltation of Dandies only see matters red, when they want to. They are easily prickled all the same, they bristle with offence at the merest slight. Post match interview with Brenda and he mentions the incident to Sutherland but deliberately refuses to mention McKenna, "I don't know who the Aberdeen player was"? Sutherland is not quick enough to counter but Big Dick is waiting, "of course he knows it's Scott McKenna, he bid £3 million for him last month". Sunday was a fun day at PQ, Big Dick hosted, Al Lamont was pitch side at Livi', Liam McLeod commentated, Billy and his EBT provided colour. The Ryder Cup was being promoted heavily before our game kicked-off; however our piss-poor performance soon had PQ juices flowing. Big Dick quite correctly pointed out, we have not won an away league fixture since the 27th of February. The League Cup semi-final machinations are heavily slanted too, the red army invited jolly Jambo duo of Alan Preston and Michael Stewart to offer support, and they did in spades. DrStu' and Tam Cowan were advocating Dandies and Jambos boycotting the semis, the rest were too busy raining heavy artillery on Doncaster et al. Darryl Broadfoot points out the SPFL is a members' organisation, ignored. Chris tells us that Sellik are sympathetic to the plight of both Aberdeen and Hearts, whilst most aware of their problems in returning to Glasgow from Germany in the early hours of Friday morning. Constant demands from all echo on and on, reference supporting the Scottish game. The emotions of Sell Out Saturday are sooooo strong? The one thing you will not hear is a Rangers voice. Bears travelling to Dingwall, Inverness, and Aberdeen for Sunday noon kick-offs; RSCs from Northern Ireland and England making games via ferries and several hours on motorways are confined to a vacuum. PQ are stoking the flames of a fans' boycott, whilst supporting both Aberdeen and Hearts in calling for a fifty-fifty split in ticket allocation. Finally, Big Dick and Michael Stewart constantly referenced the support to their cause from Police Scotland's Federation spokesman, Calum Steele. Rangers supporters remember Calum, he provided the content from selected unnamed members to the Daily Record's Jane Hamilton for a four page liturgy of lies in the immediate wake of the 2016 Scottish Cup final against Hibs. Apparently, we were throwing our children under the wheels of responding Police vans, mimicking the actions of Unionists in Northern Ireland. Imagine continually quoting that clown? Tonight, and for the rest of eternity; the PQ dandy Dons will scream, "west coast bias"!

Why? If the question proves too difficult and it should, then you can at least reveal your identity and accept the consequences. Don't be a coward twice over.

Jum Spence must be United's next manager.

First half performance is stickier than that pitch. We are playing in front of Livi' with no tempo. We have been in behind once, a beautiful ball from Arfield to Barisic. Liam Kelly has not been worked. There is a paucity to our play on the right flank. I suspect both wingers on the bench will be on soonest.