26th of foot

Of course, there is no hoodoo. I utilised a hackneyed headline, 'Hampden Hoodoo' to employ alliteration and highlight five semis without scoring, without looking like scoring. Truly woeful performances under different managers and different sets of players.

Two and a half years past, I witnessed a young Championship leading Rangers side swash buckle their way past ra Sellik in the Scottish Cup semi-final, at Hampden. We scored twice, made a host of chances, and scored the necessary number of penalties to see off the green'n'grey hordes. Since then, we have visited Hampden on six occasions, one was the final against Hibs, the other five were semi-finals in either of the national cup competitions. The Scottish Cup final was probably a game too far that season, particularly after a three week break without a game. The performance was there, we came from behind, went into the lead, and lost out to a last minute goal. Overall, the trend was on the up. The last five semi-finals have seen us lose three to ra Sellik, a collective seven zip. Throw in a two nil defeat to Motherwell and yesterday's one nil demise to the Dandies, and that equates to ten zip. All at Hampden, and there is not a performance among any of those games. The club must focus on the lack of performance at the national stadium. I have experienced three score years and always felt Hampden was our second home, we turned up and played. Six consecutive defeats, five consecutive failures to notch, and five consecutive non performances requires urgent focus.

After twenty minutes, I was firmly of the opinion that first goal was the winner. Dominating possession, working ourselves and the ball into good areas, gaining numerous set pieces, .................... etc; all laudable stuff, but we did NOT work the Aberdeen Keeper.

Well done Jonny Hayes.

Revisionism ain't what it used to be. It's a European night of football, two Scottish clubs are involved, one received nearly four and a half hours of coverage, the other gets a dozen lines amounting to five minutes. It is a Pacific Quay production. Sellik got beat, in performance terms they got beat bad. There is no mention of Sellik carrying the Scottish standard, there is no talk of the co-efficient, and the only comfort lies under a twenty tog rated quilt of revisionism. Snuggling under last evening was Big Dick presenting, joined in the studio by Tom English. In Leipzig, the continental warmth was shared by Liam McLeod commentating and Pat Bonner roaring on ra Sellik. Wullie Miller took it in turns to spoon with both. The BBC Scotland quilt reaches East Germany, but not Ibrox. Rangers and Rangers supporters are out in the cold, Meager heat is generated from Steven Thomson sat atop the Naughty Step watching the TV. Each of his four updates on the Rangers/Spartak game, was treated by his colleagues as if he had farted under the quilt. From 17.30hrs until 22.00hrs, the mixture of Dandy Dons and Yahoos chorused revisionism. Sellik were playing their second string, wracked with injuries, and how do you fill a hole left by Broonaldo? Empathy echoed from the Dandies, they played Burnley under similar circumstances? These last three years, Sellik cannot be compared to Rangers, no PQ employee will utter the phrase, 'old firm'. Sellik are managed by an experienced Boss, Rangers by a Youth team coach. Sellik are a fiscal example to all, Rangers are a shambling chaos. Oh, and Aberdeen are the second best team in Scotland, the Dandies are proud to shelter under ra Sellik's protective shadow. No comparisons? Well, Liam led the charge. Sellik, like Aberdeen are the recipients of the toughest of tough draws. The quilt raised as the murmurs of approval expelled hot air. Rangers are playing in a vastly inferior group, again the temperature rose. Big Dick enthusiastically threw in, "a full strength Rangers had to play extremely well throughout in Spain, to achieve a draw with an under strength Villarreal". Gripping the fantasy that ra Sellik can rely on beating anyone at Parkhead, Bonner had them qualifying from the group. Miller must have kicked the quilt off, when he offered, "Celtic cannot defend in Europe". It would appear that comparisons with Rangers are sometimes necessary? Here's a comparison for PQ to chew on, at the half way stage in the Europa Cup; your favourites have accrued 3 points from three games. Rangers have secured five points from three matches, whilst on an eleven euro game unbeaten run. Don't worry, it's just a temporary inconvenience. The Rangers team was available from 18.30 hrs, Radio Snyde broadcast it almost immediately. Beeb Scotland were amid their live commentary from Germany, but half time is fifteen minutes long, minimum. They did not inform license paying Rangers supporters of the Rangers team until 19.54hrs, six minutes prior to kick-off. Steven Thomson's contributions were the team, an update on the twenty-fifth minute after Brendan's long interview. A half-time and full time report lasting a couple of minutes. How long will it take for the quilt to suffocate the lot of them, we should be told?

Currently, the Thumb is hiding in Michael Stewart's attic. The controversial Jambo is protecting the Thumb from the wrath of Big Eck. Turf Accountants, former wives and girlfriends are monitoring the situation closely.

Last night was a missed opportunity, achieving the seven point mark at the half way stage, would almost seen us qualify. I was on my feet when the ball was passed to Grezda in the final seconds, it was his chance to become a hero and almost certainly book himself a starting berth come Sunday. The ball sailed over the bar and our players slumped to the turf. The effort was there last evening, but our 23rd game of the season in the last week of October is revealing fatigue. Two things, firstly we missed Arfield. Those constant twenty yard diagonal shuttles, create angles and take opposition players away. Secondly, we regained possession regularly, only to give it away. We could not achieve that half yard before the opposition stuck a foot in or blocked the pass. Spartak brought a physicality we found hard to shake, their front two continually sprinted to shut down both our centre backs when we were looking for an out ball. Oh, and the Ref' was frustratingly inconsistent.

I would like to support the appeal above. Five or six paragraphs on an upcoming match is a perfectly adequate stimulation to ensure twenty pages on the actual game. Of course, there are ding-dongs on the match thread, everyone sees the game from a different angle. However, I have yet to see any Gersnetter be critical of a Match Preview? Let's spread the weight.

Encouraging. I liked Pete's suggestion on the Gersnet Podcast, is Big DJ fit to play on Sunday?

Sounds like you were standing atop a conning tower in Belsen?

Reference : BBC Scotland's website, tonight. A man has gone on trial for the historical sexual abuse of four boys. Jim Torbett, who is 71, denies nine charges of sexual abuse committed between August'85 and August' 94. The boys were aged between four and thirteen when abuse by Mr Torbett is alleged to have started. The offences are alleged to have happened at locations including his home, Barrowfield football ground in the east end of Glasgow, and a factory in the south side of city. Other locations where offences are alleged to have occurred include a dormitory in France and training facilities in Glasgow's west end. Defence QC Tony Graham lodged a special defence of alibi in relation to one of the charges. No evidence has yet been heard. The trial before Lord Judge Beckett continues.

You know, I suspect Rossiter's greatest triumph arrived in his first half-dozen games. He played alongside and survived Joey Barton. No mean feat?

Ch-ch-ch-changes? As BBC Scotland issue a third apology to Rangers/Rangers supporters this calendar year, the air of change renders the airwaves? Nah, the Autumn week school holidays sees a number of Presenters/Journos with young families head off, and a raft of trialists are given a run-out. The knock-on effect of McLaughlin's promotion to Correspondent on BBC Scotland's new second channel, means opportunities for climbing the PQ greasy pole. Assistance from those standing atop that very pole for quarter of a century is to be expected, putting a word in for your mate, is how it works. For the third week in a row, DrStu' has been allowed to promote his fellow nationalist traveler, Michael Stewart; whilst targeting the last Rangers supporting staffer, Kenny McIntyre. DrStu' likes a cleansing and portraying McIntyre as both staunch and rabid each week will have the desired effect. Last week, Michael Stewart presented midweek Sportsound on a couple of occasions, whilst McIntyre was off on a family holiday. Another trial presenter of midweek Sportsound was, Scott McDonald. Further, the Australian Bhoy trialed the pitch side beat at New Douglas Park yesterday, dolefully positioned between Martin Canning and Steven Gerrard. He was asked by Liam McLeod an hour or so before kick-off, "up for the challenge Scott"? Skippy flashed impeccable PQ credentials by replying, "depends on Martin Canning's mood, I'm sure I'll be okay". He nailed it right there, no interest in Gerrard, no interest in Rangers supporters' sensitivities, and no interest in providing a full service of information. All those Euro trips with PQ CSC has prepared Scott well for his rite of passage. Away from the greasy pole, Saturday's coverage began with DrStu' and Cowan asking for listeners favourite comedy sketch, be it TV or radio? They favoured a Scotch and Wry skit starring Ricky Fulton, Gerard Kelly, and Gregor Fisher. It was introduced by the petty and ill-informed duo as, "Rangers signing their first catholic". Older Gersnetters will remember it as truly hilarious. Of course, the presentation ie 'the first' is false where as the early eighties sentiment is true. Rangers signed and played dozens of RCs in the club's first fifty years. By the second half of, 'Off the Ball', the presentation of this particular sketch had been quietly withdrawn, without explanation. On Saturday, Big Dick is on holibags(why didn't DrStu' target him), thus another Dandy stepped in, Liam McLeod hosted the show. Shoe-horning other Dandies such as Jonathon Sutherland, Wullie Miller, Charlie Mann, Rob McLean, ...... is no problem; the diminutive Shetlander was pitch side at ra Stydome and Miller joined McLean on the gantry at the same ground. Pat Bonner and Michael Stewart squeezed in too. At the end of the match, Michael Stewart had to get back to PQ for the second half of, 'Off the Ball'. Liam advised going through Bridgeton, much hilarity ensued as everyone piled in with depicting Brigton as early eighties Beirut. Pat told Michael, "keep your head down". Driving through Brigton is probably another PQ rite of passage? Sunday saw Liam McLeod hosting, McDonald pitch side, Wullie Miller, Billy Dodds(and his EBT), and Tom English added colour. Rob McLean commentated without enthusiasm, well he got a bit agitated in the 80th minute! PQ and Rob concluded the result was most misleading. Rangers supporters agree Plus ca Change? It's a Proust thing, last night's Sportscene changed; it's fifteen minutes longer and a couple of new items have been introduced. Twenty minutes are dedicated to ra Sellik game, fifteen to Aberdeen, and the rest of Scottish football divi-up the remaining minutes of broadcast. The director has got poor Thommo standing at the big screen, swiping and pushing the footage, providing supposedly greater insight. Michael Stewart stands the other side of the screen, hands in pockets, mimicking the mobility he used to show on the pitch. He is a bookend. It's serendipity for Thommo, he has time to fill. Last week, in the wake of providing an interview to the Times journo, Graham Spiers, he has lost his column at the Herald. He told Spiers he would rather watch golf and tennis, as opposed to football. He watches at least sixty hours of football for work purposes, and at home it never appears on his TV. There is an etiquette to one columnist interviewing another columnist, as a courtesy you are required to contact the interviewee's paper and inform them of the piece. They would want to view the content before publishing. Spiers did NOT do this, published with the clear implication that a fellow columnist had no interest in football. Remember, Spiers got Bitter Martin the sack from Radio Snyde? On election night with polls still open, he speculated on the voting intentions of Walter Smith. Bitter Martin joined in, ans as Presenter, lost his job. Now, all these extra minutes providing penetrative thought, told us nothing. The headlines after the Parkhead game came from Neil Lennon's post-match interview, "we were playing against twelve men". We know grievance is Neil's comfort blanket and vicTIMhood is his favoured sanctuary. If Hibs had visited Ibrox, then BBC Scotland would have lapsed into their well practiced, 'trial by Sportscene' mode. Tom English dismissed Lennon's comments on Sunday afternoon radio, Sportscene totally ignored his utterances. You only had to wait forty minutes for trial by Sportscene, Martin Canning's post-match interview was shown fully and Michael and Thommo picked at a few scraps, rather than the expected feasting. The Director has to prepare the guests better, there is an expectant audience out there. I await a comedy sketch where BBC Scotland interview a Rangers supporter, for the position of, 'TOKEN'. Of course, DrStu' conducting the interview.

Andy Walker on Sky, "it's a soft penalty, the ball hits Penny on the top of his arm, the top of his arm". Rob McLean on BBC Radio Scotland, "a most misleading result". It is a completely different narrative when Rangers pull a result out of the bag, deservedly or not?

We'll take it, but we don't deserve it. The goal was well worked. A midfield breakdown resulted in Morelos rolling his man and playing a lovely swerved pass into Kent's run. The Acas Keeper made up Kent's mind, a lovely lifted lob from his instep, into an empty net. It took until the 31st minute for Woods to make a save/touch the ball. Including McGregor, only three/four Rangers players are facing the Acas goal, the rest have their backs to the opposition. Our passing forward is poor, Katic has been the worse user of the ball. Acas have enjoyed 4/5 attempts at our goal. Actually, any high ball into our box is a lottery. We have to start the second half on the front foot, pass the ball quicker, turn the Acas, and hopefully take a few of the opportunities we create.

Today's team versus Acas : McGregor, Tavenier, Goldson, Katic, Halliday, Coulibaly, Rossitor, Ejaria, Candeias, Morelos, and Kent.

Ian, I know you have a hectic time of it, providing links, screen grabs, highlights, .... etc. Could I ask a favour? Would you post the above on the PQ Musings thread? The apology is important in completing the record, thank-you.

Last evening, BBC Radio Scotland was hosted by Dandy Don, Liam McLeod. There are enough Dandies at BBC Radio Scotland to have a different Dandy hosting every night of the week. It also means that when something inconvenient arrives reference the Dons, you can ignore the embarrassment, until the necessary presentation is available. Liam preferred to lead a discussion on the trials of Kyle Lafferty and the rightful evocation of the FIFA ruling that denies Rangers playing the striker this coming Sunday. Oh, the effort being put into faux concern! The cloud of inconvenience arrived yesterday morning when we heard the SPFL had written to Aberdeen reference the number of tickets Aberdeen had sold for the semi-final of the League Cup. The hard rain fell when Aberdeen owned up to selling tickets either side of the larger Rangers support allocation, deliberately to deny any returned tickets being passed on to waiting Bears. No Siree Bob, Liam had his red and white brolly covering his conscience, ensuring the run off drenched Lafferty and Rangers. Aberdeen have sold 9,000 tickets from a 20,000 allocation that they screamed hard to secure. BBC Scotland led the screams. Despite hard marketing, Aberdeen sold a further 100 tickets today. The SPFL have forced Aberdeen to comply, awarded a block in the South Stand to move those Dandies that have already been allocated tickets for the North Stand. Further, Aberdeen are reduced to selling further tickets by blocks attached to their Sellik end allocation. The weight of inconvenience is such, that the Dandies at PQ lost their discipline this afternoon. The presentation agreed, they utilised the BBC Scotland web page to state, "Aberdeen sell just 9,000 League Cup tickets, despite protests". There are several paragraphs of accompanying explanation. A photograph is included showing the red and white army holding a banner depicting Dandy Don, Shinnie arm aloft holding the head of Rangers player, Ryan Jack. The strap line on the banner states, "red or dead". It was the BBC Scotland message for an hour, it has been changed to a picture of fans waving two flags containing the Aberdeen club crest. It was an honest mistake, and neither Big Dick, Liam McLeod, Jonathon Sutherland, Rob McLean, Jeff Webster, Charlie Mann, ...... etc will discuss this shameful slight. The Torry lad, Ryan Jack will receive neither apology, nor explanation. It's where they're at, sullen invective.

Today, we have an outbreak of Foot and Mouth disease in Aberdeenshire, transportation of sheep will be suspended. The SPFL are left with no choice, give all semi-final tickets to Rangers.

Here's me thinking, the imperative for Scottish football is to promote the game, 'Sellout Saturday' anyone?

See transparency, some are more equal than others. Transparency is a constant cry from DrStu', always demanding lights to be shone in the dark corners of the SFA. DrStu' does not care for the Blazers, they run interference on those revealing lights. DrStu' is a rebel, a Blazer Slayer, and a bringer of the light. It's a carefully manufactured self image, and DrStu' continually manicure's it's presentation. Injustice keeps him awake at night, he is NEVER an Establishment Man? When Big Eck secured the National manager's job for a second time, DrStu' raised the rebel yell, he was against the decision because McLeish was the recipient of an EBT. Further, there was no point in allowing history to repeat itself; Strachan would not leave Hampshire, "McLeish will not leave his big house in Fulham". Sleepless in Dennistoun was just getting started, due process had been ignored. The job was not advertised, candidates had not been selected, nor interviewed, and the Tartan Army had been ignored. As already posted, last week DrStu' stuck it on Gazza. Wife beaters and racists have no place in the Scottish Football Hall of Fame. It appears DrStu' forgot to peruse his very own money making expose, 'Hampden Babylon'. The very first chapter is a most unedifying biopic of Hughie Gallacher. We wait on DrStu' raising the rebel yell again? Insomnia is DrStu's constant companion because Gazza was nominated by the Scottish public. The process ensues, a committee meets, discusses, and votes. DrStu' comfortably slipped into Hector's clothes and landed the first blow on a vulnerable character, Jum Spence could not resist a fly kick, and Tom English battered in, whilst wearing the mask of hypocrisy. One of the committee, Neil Cameron rolled Gazza under a bus on world mental health day. It took five days to bye pass the process and allow an apparatchik from the SFA to announce the end of a public nomination. By Saturday last, PQ took the decision NOT to discuss the diktat. Not one word of discussion was offered on several hours of sports broadcasting over Saturday and Sunday. The Establishment Men had won. Or had they? Tam Cowan utilised his column in the Sun on Saturday morning to support Gazza on purely football terms and point the finger at the hypocrites. On Saturday's Off the Ball, he was too smart for his Producer. He highlighted an e-mail from Sheena of Edinburgh reference a cure for piles; DrStu' intervened, "we don't have to go there". Cowan continued on the effectiveness of a clove of garlic inserted into the caramac corner, whilst DrStu' groaned. Tam concluded, "Sheena is a license fee payer and as such is allowed to participate. We have no time for hypocrisy on this show". I feel the first chapter of PQ Babylon coming on!

The state of Spiers, "too nuanced for Twitter"? Did he text that whilst seated in the North Stand with his two lads? This is what happens when Jim Delahunt(forever too nuanced) allows you to finger your organ live on telly, twice! I believe DrStu' blew the bugle for reinforcements on the Gazza issue? He must have been relieved to see Spiers and Aidan Smith arrive to grab a limb each. One, two, three, and throw him under a bus on world mental health day. The sound of a bugle can be confused with the sound of a trumpet.

This morning, BBC Radio Scotland invited Alastair Campbell to speak on the withdrawal of Gazza's induction into Scottish football's Hall of Fame. The former Labour Party spin doctor has revealed his own, constant battles with mental health. He spoke about vulnerability, isolation, and fragile self imagery. He concluded that this episode will not be helpful to Gazza as he attempts to overcome his demons. To counter Campbell's take, BBC Scotland decided to dredge the Tay estuary, and presented the hate-filled mollusc, Jum Spence. The author of, 'Dundee is now a three club city' seamlessly slipped into Hector's clothing. He demanded high moral standards for any role models. Jum is the Paragon of all virtues, sounded almost spiritual. Campbell battered him. The next time any Bear encounters Jum, shake a little salt on to his flame hair; watch him curl and froth.

Kieran Tierney's cache among the PLO supporting Green Brigade has nose dived. It doesn't get any worse than scoring the winner for Israel!

Can any Gersnetters see a connection? On Saturday, Cosgrove began the charge on BBC Radio Scotland. He doesn't want Gazza inducted into the Scottish football Hall of Fame. A perfectly legitimate point of view. His reasoning, Gazza is a self confessed wife beater, and these days everyone connected to Scottish football has to share the responsibility of protecting the game's image. Jum Spence popped up on the same means yesterday, reinforcing DrStu's cri de couer and hinting at racism too. If you are interested in searching for what DrStu' and Jimmy Ping have said about Jimmy Johnstone, Malky McKay,Neil Lennon, and Leigh Griffiths on matters of domestic violence and racism, you will be looking at the centre of a dougnut. Thirty years past, DrStu' penned a tome entitled, 'Hampden Babylon'. It was a quick buck making exercise telling the tales of the more salacious side of Scottish football. Child beaters, wife beaters, bullies, racists, ''''''''''''''' etc; they all live on those pages, accompanied by photos. I am sure the Doyen of Scottish Literature will be happy to discuss his observations on Rangers supporters being, "h-u-ns and typical orange wankers"? Further, in yesterday's Herald, the depressed Neil Cameron showed empathy with his fellow sufferers by throwing a particular one under a bus. Neil Lennon can threaten the pregnant women in his life and Cameron will decidedly walk on bye on the other side of the road. It's a simple parable. Today, it's Stephen McGowan of the Scottish Daily Mail; tomorrow it will be Tom English, Hugh MacDonald, Hugh Keevins, ............................. We know it's their collective preferred prejudice, te extent of their comfort is measured by the lengths they are prepared to go to in NOT mentioning current and future inductees.