26th of foot

When was the last time we won at Tynecastle?

Only last week, after the Arabs had defeated the Wasps 4-2 on the night Scotland defeated Israel, both Alan Preston and Billy Dodds proclaimed Dundee United would go on to win the Championship. Robbie Neilson had sorted it out, united were in a false position, and Jum Spence could smile again. Pumped 0-5 zip on your own midden, get it up you, and Jum can keep on keeping on, lovely.

Why not both, simultaneously?

Then, I am utilising the nut to crush their steam hammer. A couple of the guys behind Gersnet will know what I am referring to here. It was over a dozen years ago, we were attending the weekly RST Board meeting. Colin Glass and I had been at another afternoon meeting with Martin Bain in Argyll House and were reporting to the rest of the Board. After relating the depressing events, I was of the opinion we should find a way to keep Bain mindful of the supporters' concerns reference the club's position. One of the Board asked as to the placement of Bain's office? Telling him it overlooked the car park at the back of the Govan Stand, our young Thruster fae Ershur said, 'his office overlooks those billboards, I'll check availability and rates, get back to you next week'. We hired the centre billboard and put up an invitation to join the Trust and protect Rangers' supporters' interests. Every day, the former catalogue model sat at his desk and was reminded of our concerns, every time he turned his head. A later meeting with Murray revealed Martin hated that particular month at his desk. Good! I suppose it's the Three Billboards outside Ebbing thing that has brought it back to mind. What are the thoughts on Rangers supporters crowd funding the hiring of a billboard in view of PQ, and posting a message that will continually remind them of deliberately failing to provide license fee paying Rangers supporters with the same service provided to other fans of other clubs?

Winter vomiting outbreak at PQ. The good spew was the first half of last night's broadcast, the A Team of a mixture of Sellik and Aberdeen supporters provided the usual propaganda. Thus, Big Dick, Wullie Miller, Liam McLeod, Tom English, Martin Dowden, and Pat Bonner all took a slice of the PQ economic pie. Sellik won their first ever away Europa Cup group match, and no praise was high enough. Particularly, since they all invested significantly prematch, in a Red Bull carve up. Tom, Pat, and Martin were pumping that one hard. Beeb Scotland have learned to manage symptoms from previous outbreaks. The Rangers team was given at half time in Norway. Thommo was back on the naughty step, keeping an eye on events at Ibrox. On two separate occasions, Liam compared Sellik's test with our opponents. Sellik are playing Champions League calibre, while Villarreal are sixteenth in La Liga, had left two star players back in Spain, and have only won three games all season. Liam omitted the £70 million they spent close season. During commentary, Liam waxed on about Bendtner's run-ins with Danish law, four times we were told of his recent conviction for beating up a taxi driver. Good, we look forward to Sunday's BetFred cup final, when Liam will give full discourse on Leigh Griffiths and pay particular attention to Leigh's recent, 'illness'? Careful now, Liam! The bad spew was our game, Partick Thistle's Kris Doolan came into the studio and ...................wtf? Big Dick, Tom English, Kris Doolan, and Thommo quietly vomited whilst picking up the dosh. They don't want to be there, don't want to talk about us, but they'll take the dosh. They rallied at half-time, Candeias received a red card and there were numerous attempts to explain it, all Daniel's fault. Thommo did say, "that was harsh". Big Dick and Tom paralleled the incident with Daniel's recent double yellows at St Mirren. Wullie Miller concluded, "he has a history". Kris Doolan is a quick learner, "probably deserved". Big Dick was salivating at the prospect of the second half, then reverted to projectile vomiting on the 75th minute. A move down our right saw the ball whipped across, and Middleton netted. Big Dick spluttered, "surely offside, we'll need to see". Clearly viewing BT's coverage and not crediting it, the replay shows Middleton a yard off, Big Dick says, "not close", Thommo begins, "a good move from Rangers, well worked"; Big Dick screams, "it's not even close"! Oh, the hate. Game ends, seven minutes left of the show, and we receive a reprise of Sellik's wonderful, ground setting victory amidst the fjords. A Martin Dowden interview with Brendan is broadcast and Big Dick ends with, "well, another good night for Scottish clubs in Europe"? Tom had nothing to add. Other than picking up the dosh, which we are part contributing to, why do they bother?

Super Rangers.

I was suicidal at half-time. The sending off occurred immediately to my front, it appeared Tav' pushed Candeias into a challenge and he fell over the Villarreal left back? The Govan Stand Linesman was inept, the Referee incompetent. The Spaniards set up in the first half was an open diamond and two up in wider areas. They were fluid and cut us open, thankfully Greegs was immense in his positioning. The second half was going to be a horror show. We got all narrow and made them pass it wide in our last third. We dealt with the crosses quite comfortably and deserved a couple of pieces of luck with deflected shots. It was heroic stuff against a La Liga side that spent £70 million in the summer. At full time, I tuned into BBC Radio Scotland on my small digital radio and heard seven minutes of downbeat and hesitant conversation. In Vienna, I hope for a strong and competent Referee.

BBC Scotland lunchtime news on the TV, includes a three minute piece to camera by Martin Dowden and Pat Bonner, the background is a Norwegian harbour scene. There are several footage pieces inter spaced, all showing ra Sellik scoring. Both Martin and Pat are confident about tonight's action, Sellik are comfortable because this is their third visit to Norway in the last fifteen months. Personnel changes are discussed too, Pat is sure the young boys will get the job done. Martin reminds us, that full commentary is available on BBC Radio Scotland at 17.30hrs, kick-off at 17.55hrs. Now, thanks to Annie McGuire some dozen years past, we know, "Martin is a good Celtic man". He has been around the houses in between, fulfilling Production roles and reporting from the Highlands. Chris has been promoted, thus it looks like Martin has stepped in seamlessly. He finished the piece with, "you can hear all the action tonight on BBC Radio Scotland". Well, I will qualify that for you Martin, good Celtic man you are. All the action ends on Norwegian shores, license fee paying Rangers supporters will receive very occasional selective updates, dependent upon how the game at Ibrox is progressing.

Douglas Fraser is a Hibee.

I remember the Police paid homage to him with a number one single, Sting screamed, 'sooo-lanky'.

As the trial of Gerald King, former Chair of Celtic Boys' Club continues in Glasgow Sheriff Court, the Evening Times are now crediting their coverage to a court reporter. Gerald King is described as, 'a Springburn primary school teacher' : A 43 year old man was a pupil at the school in the 1980s, where Gerald King, 66, taught and coached the school football team. He said throughout his last year at primary school, while in the team, King repeatedly exposed his private parts to him while changing. The witness claimed King also showed him a pornographic magazine, and a few seconds of videos. He admitted he initially told police, who were investigating King he knew nothing happening at the school but when he got the letter from King's defence team to be a witness, he changed his mind. He said, "I knew at that point I wasn't going to stand up here and defend someone I knew to be guilty". King, from Springburn, is on trial at Glasgow Sheriff Court is accused of using lewd and libidinous practices towards five boys and two girls at a school in the north of Glasgow between August 1 1983 and June 30, 1989. He also faces a charge of taking, or permitting to be taken, indecent images of children on various occasions between January 1987 and December 1988 at Barrowfield football park at the City's London Road. The court heard that on match or training days, King would change in a separate area of the school from the pupils. But it was not until King allegedly asked the pupil to take on extra responsibilities, the indecent behaviour began. King denies the charges and the trial before Sheriff Johanna Johnston QC continues.

Michael Stewart is a stupid person's idea of a clever person.

Seriously, the Herald/Evening Times reporting Gerald King being a primary school teacher is disingenuous. The context of the story is alleged offences being conducted at Barrowfield Park, Celtic's training ground. Gerald King was the Chairman of Celtic Boys' Club during the time of the alleged offences.

"Toto, I've a feeling we're no longer in Kansas anymore". The production of the Wizard of Oz in 1938/39 is best remembered these days for bacchanalian depravity on and off set. The film had five Directors and ten screenwriters. The Munchkins were regaled as, 'pimps, hookers, and gamblers', the police regularly attended the hotel accommodating the actors to extinguish drunken violence and take statements on alleged sexual assault. A teenage Judy Garland was hooked on both uppers and downers, was touched up by a couple of members of the Lollipop Guild, and suffered regular bouts of violence from one of the Directors. The continuing willingness of folks to slip their feet into Dorothy's sparkly red slippers indicates their attraction to a certain darkness. The phrase, "Toto, I've a feeling we're no longer in Kansas anymore" is both an acknowledgement of change in circumstance and a celebration of arrival on the cusp of pernicious darkness? I remember reading a piece a dozen years past, it was an interview with the last surviving member of the Lollipop Guild. He opined the tremendous difficulty of shooting the long sequence of Dorothy's introduction to the Guild. It's a crowded scene requiring fixed smiles, dialogue and singing, choreographed movement amid changing long shots and closeups, and timing had to be on the money. There was an ever present threat and administration of violence, the cast were both punched and kicked. You could argue with the Director and his Overseers but there was no point, they had the Bullhorns, their amplification intimidated everyone. Simply, the Wizard of Oz is a homage to the Hectors in life. The biggest Bullhorn in the country resides in Pacific Quay, BBC Scotland is the NATIONAL broadcaster. The Lizard of Ouse resides by the river, brooding and soaking up the weak winter sunshine. She allows her Overseers to broadcast with impunity, the bullies are in control. DrStu' utilised the megaphone to name Jim Traynor for the third week in a row, and to ridicule a PQ colleague, Kenny McIntyre for the fifth week in a row. Cowan read out an e-mail from John of Uddingston(the show's Producer) proclaiming the biggest cringe was listening to McIntyre presenting a nightly version of Rangers greatest heroes, or Sportsound as it's formally known. DrStu' supported the drama by theatrical guffawing, culminating in, "absolutely"! It sounded scripted and rehearsed. Why is Donalda MacKinnon allowing DrStu' to continually bully a colleague? DrStu' does not allow his own vanity to be impinged. On Saturday, another e-mail from an Aberdonian was read, it identified DrStu' as a constant critic of Alex McLeish, the national coach. Further, this criticism was personal and to the detriment of the national team, finally asking for DrStu' to consider his position at BBC Scotland. Clearly, DrStu' does not see the responsibility that comes with access to the megaphone. Anyways, DrStu' came back to that particular e-mail twice in the next five minutes, he was concerned he was being isolated and he has a right to a different opinion. He supported Jum Spence's view that McLeish should not be appointed because he has an EBT(how does he share a studio with Billy Dodds and Steven Thomson) and voices off regularly about Big Eck's big house in Fulham. This all goes to prove that DrStu' has a first class ego, and a second class mind. BBC Scotland celebrated forty years of specific broadcasting last week, DrStu' has been at least a weekly fixture for two thirds of that time. He has survived a lot of changes because he is a Toadie. When Donalda MacKinnon was appointed, he announced, "I've met her once, I like her, I like her a lot". In his sixty-seventh year he has learned to hate more carefully. In 24 years he has gone from sneering at license fee paying Rangers supporters or, "h-u-ns and typical orange wankers" as he called us; to rocking his maternal Donegal born grandmother's name as a nom de guerre on the RTC Blog for five years. DrStu' no longer has to claim Rangers supporters ransacked Barcelona's cathedral in 1972, preventing a Rangers supporting colleague from sharing access to the microphone is sufficient to achieve his aim, 'a cleansing'. Accusing DrStu' of bullying will be met with his tell all retort, "not at all" but he remains consumed by hate, why is he intolerant of Kenny McIntyre? DrStu' views Bears as Munchkins and he knows the value of holding that Bullhorn. Another colleague, Chris McLaughlin has been a long term fixture at Beeb Scotland, he has never appeared on 'Off the Ball'. He refuses to do so, and has been promoted twice. DrStu' also knows the value of the off button on that Bullhorn.

I was reading through today's Evening Times and came across this : Gerald King, 66, is accused of using lewd and libidinous practices towards seven schoolchildren while he was a teacher at a school in the north of Glasgow. He went on trial today at Glasgow Sheriff Court where he is represented by defence counsel Gavin Anderson. The charges span from August 1, 1983 to June 30, 1989 at the school in Glasgow and are alleged to have been committed on five boys and two girls. King, from Springburn, Glasgow also faces charges of taking, or permitting to be taken, indecent images of children, on various occasions between January 1987 and December 1988 at Barrowfield football park at the city's London Road. The pensioner denies the charges against him and the trial before Sheriff Johannah Johnston QC continues. A teacher takes children to Celtic's then training ground(Barrowfield Park) to have photos taken over a nearly two year period; anyone else think Barrowfield Park might have been the centre of a Paedophile ring?

What botanicals are unique to Liverpool?

Michael McEwan should be concerned for his windows. Celtic commission the Fraser of Allander to provide a report on their contribution to the local economy, and the F of A conclude ra green'n'grey contribute gazillions. Instead of calling it out for what it is ie mutual masturbation; the likes of BBC Scotland's Chris McLaughlin and the Herald's/Evening Times Alison McConnell plaster the pysh as a main headline, well Peter told them to do so! Peter also told GCC Convener, Susan Aitken he wanted a meeting on the back of the report, maybe there's another three streets for a penny deal going down soonest? I wonder if Fraser of Allander will accept my commission, to report on the amount ra Sellik drain from the Irish economy?

I was hoping Peter Lawwell might provide an update on his, 'no stone unturned' inquiry into identifying ra Sellik fan who threw a lighter and hit Fernando Ricksen on the head? Thirteen years and counting Peter.

Oh, Aidan Smith, he's another I hope drowns in penurious circumstance. Of course, little hope. The Fettes College educated Journo reinvented himself. You know that thing about the deceased Chair of Dundee United, Stephen Thompson; you can change your house, wife, ..... etc but you cannot change your football team? Well, Aidan had a Diary decades past, where he informed us that his old man would pick up him and another Boarder from Fettes in the chauffeur driven car, and travel through to Glasgow to watch ra Sellik in big Euro games. However, Aidan desired more street cred' among his Uni' mates in Edinburgh and changed his football team to Hibs. The one thing that remained constant was/is his hatred of all things Rangers. Thirty years of spitting venom from Lord Snooty, I am sure he'll find comfort at his beloved Bunkerton Castle.

The National sells under 10,000 copies daily, a long way south from it's initial 100,000 sales. The National and it's 18 full time Journos are reputedly kept afloat by the lottery winning Weir family. Reference the Hootsmon; genuinely, I hope all the staff find continuing employment. I will make an exception for former Sellik View Editor, Andrew H Smith, a worthy successor of the late Glen Gibbons.

Ronnie Lane penned the lyric, Ron Wood provided most of the music.

Sincerely, I hope whoever is the current stock buyer, remembers the demand within the Rangers support for Pilums, Dorys, javelins, and white phosphorus grenades. The opposition expect to have such weaponry hurled at them, and we should NOT disappointment them. Thus, the remit is an easily transportable weapon on the Underground, that have Stewards' clearance at the ground, and when thrown are invisible to the sixteen cameras inside Ibrox.

Deserves a yellow card.

Vanguardbears play the schadenfreude card. Phil White is Phil McFournames born and bred name.

As someone attending said game, I remember MacLaren dispatching the spot kick and running towards the delighted Hibs fans? Personally, I launched two javelins at Jamie from Bar'72 and attempted to arm a 66mm LAW missile, but you know what it's like attempting to extend those telescopic weapons? Anyways, you make the effort and receive no credit.