26th of foot

I think this is our 37th competitive game? It's been two games a week for five months, there are injuries, niggles, and fatigue. We must win against Hibs. I want a true Rangers performance, hopefully we take the game to them. I have never been much for bugle blowing charges, but if that is what it takes to get this one over the line. We need momentum before ................. Just do it Bears, please!

Festive felicitations to all Gersnetters.

DrStu' will be soooooooooooooo proud.

Passing the ball without tempo, in front of the opposition. Passing it without tempo down the sides, often recycling the ball back to central midfield. The occasional cross flying across the box, too high, too deep, and too predictable. We have NOT worked the keeper. It's another depressing performance away from home.

Yesterday's Shereen Nanjiani show once again included Angela Haggerty. As stated, she has been introduced under a number of supposed designations over the year, in future she will be known as, 'a Philosopher'. No shit, Angela announced that she had undertaken a course on Philosophy. The Rene Descartes of Cardonald College extrapolated on her achievement, "philosophy is all about thinking". I feel a new age of enlightenment is upon us. I think therefore I am will soon transpire into the more Yahoo acceptable, 'I hate, therefore I'm a Bam'. What will become of us all, when Angela starts thinking?

Subliminal Times. I suspect most of us thought the worst of BBC Scotland news had passed when former News Editor, Dermot O'Hara left PQ? Recently, a new line of attack has been opened once again on news items. This month, we have seen two stories on poverty and obesity. The poverty issue was highlighted by a family replete in Rangers tops. Similarly, the message on obesity was reinforced by footage of a large Rangers supporter bursting forth from his Rangers top. We live in subliminal times. It's heartening to see BBC Scotland news recovering their aggression. I have mentioned James Cook on a number of occasions, he is the journo that five years past had to apologise for deliberately editing footage of an interview with Ally McCoist. Super was Rangers boss at the time and granted an interview with the Arab, James Cook. It was a long piece, covering all aspects of managing Rangers. The word was, James Cook is the grasping aspirational type. Ferocious ambition drove him to edit the film, twice he decided to make McCoist appear flippant on the topic of sectarianism. He took laughter from earlier, lighter questions, and spliced it into his answers on sectarianism. Deliberately, he altered the story to suit his then bosses' agendas. After apologising for appallingly shoddy journalistic practice, he was promoted to the designation of, 'BBC Correspondent to the USA'. James knew it was a rite of passage thing. James has been promoted yet again, he is the new News Editor of BBC Scotland's long awaited second(news) channel. Now, Gersnetters will know Chris McLaughlin has been the recipient of two promotions over the same five year period. James and Chris will team up together this coming February when the new channel launches. I was listening to BBC Radio Scotland's Media Review yesterday, Dr Eamonn O'Neill was scathing on the conduct of Der Spiegel's top journo, Claas Relotius. He admitted to making up a dozen stories over the last several years. He had been awarded Germany's Reporter of the Year accolade on the back of a story on Syrian refugees that he admitted to inventing. O'Neill went on to reference other Fantasy Merchants in both the New York Times and the Washington Post. In conclusion he was merciless on Claas Relotius, "he wants the glory of journalism without going through the ethical hoops". I wonder why Dr Eamonn decided NOT to highlight the unethical behaviour of both James Cook and Chris McLaughlin? We should be told.

I love the lifebelt!

Big Dick Gordon will fulminate. So, it's all good.

Why did BBC Scotland pick that particular clip of BT Sports coverage? There is the cross pollination of Rob McLean, works for both channels. Rob is Dingwall born and bred, Ross County or Aberdeen supporter? The main thing he hates Rangers. Laughing and calling an assault, "old school". BBC Scotland is the broadcasting wing of Pie and Bovril.

There was a photograph doing the rounds three/four years past, it was taken at Sartis restaurant on Bath street, Glasgow. There are three of them seated at the table, all holding open menus. The three were Phil McFournames, Angela Haggerty, and Alex Thomson. Thomson penned the foreword for McFournames book on Rangers, 'Downfall'. Haggerty edited the book, an endless procession of poorly written essays. I believe it was Stuart Cosgrove who as a then senior Channel 4 exec' who brought Thomson to the table. Further, Spiers has been a constant supporter of Thomson's approach and comments. Thomson should be asked to extrapolate on child rape being considered less of a moral scandal than tax evasion?

I am basing my optimism on the law of averages. Surely, we are due a performance?

Swiftian Times. I attended Sunday School as a child, we all did then. I endured endless hours of parables followed by Bible study. Sometimes, it was in the form of a quiz; the Minister asked for an new testament character beginning with 'N', I would answer, "Nicodemus" and be rewarded with a sweetie. I suspect Sunday School was sponsored by Dentists? Nicodemus, now there's a name that would benefit all at PQ, he told the Sanhedrin that a man should be heard before being judged. Every week, they tell us they want to hear from Rangers supporters, which seems a pointless exercise, since we are already judged. Attending Sunday School was rewarding, well constant or 'good attendance' meant an improving book was handed over; in my case, 'Gulliver's Travels' by Jonathon Swift. I read it first as an eight year old and have reread the tome on a dozen occasions since. The genius of the book is that it works on a number of levels, from a pacey narrative to the biting satire of the human condition. Society trumps the individual, differences between religions are petty, are men corrupt or are they corrupted, .......................... etc. It's all there and the hook is that it means differing things to different people. Three hundred years past, Swift was taking on the persona of modern, liberal society and examining the cost on such a society which embraces and celebrates policies pursuing scientific progress. I wonder if the then recent case of Galileo's excommunication at the hands of the inquisition was uppermost in Swift's mind? Galileo's crime was to claim the earth orbited the sun as opposed to vice-versa. The RC church lifted that excommunication only twenty-five years ago. We accept travel broadens the mind. Gulliver is large is shipwrecked, then abandoned, attacked by both strangers and crew. He reaches Lilliput and encounters small folks who are constantly politicking, unscrupulous, and vicious. These last several years, you can see an easy analogy there between Rangers and BBC Scotland. Our very existence antagonises PQ, as a grouping we are perceived to be bad, but individuals may be good. Their constant cry to hear from us, will never succeed(they don't want it to) and because of the constant marginalisation and demonisation, they have in part created a support that don't want to talk to them. Those individuals perceived to be good are Billy Dodds and Steven Thomson, both paying penance for toting EBTs. Our excommunication will supersede poor Galileo's? Last Thursday, we played a final Europa Cup game in Vienna, ra Sellik played a Champions League fixture in a Champions League grouping of the Europa Cup. The Irish and Australians championing the Champions cause, told us so, repeatedly. Liam McLeod and Billy Dodds were in Vienna, because they did NOT have to travel on the team charter. Other, cheaper air travel options were available. It was a relief to PQ that after fourteen Euro games, Rangers exited the competition. Of course, ra Sellik qualified for the last 32, and the show ran on for a further forty-five minutes to celebrate. It was a usual Hippo and Oxpecker production. The ever annoying Jonathon Sutherland doing pitch side and interviews fitted right-in, he can tongue arse and chew shit with the best of them. Sunday was quite different. Before events at Easter Road, Killie's rise to the top of the pile again, was being eulogised. Sellik were expected to replace Killie as Premiership leaders. Paul Hartley and Kenny Miller(in dispute with Rangers) told Big Dick the green'n'grey would establish themselves and kick-on, creating a cushion before the winter break. After ninety minutes, everyone agreed, a deserved Hibs victory. Neil Lennon came to Brian McLaughlin's microphone post match. The first time the Depressed One has participated in three weeks, his Deputy had been doing the gig. Big Dick celebrated Lenny's return, enthusiastically wondering what became of the Lennycopter? Paul Hartley expressed a hope of seeing it again, "this coming Wednesday"! At 14.45 hours, Big Dick gave the Rangers team, then announced he was handing over to fellow Dandy Don, Jeff Webster who was presenting live coverage and commentary of Newcastle against Edinburgh. Euro rugby union had displaced, 'being right across events at Ibrox'. Again, a relief, allowing Billy and Steven to get off the naughty step and conduct some Christmas shopping. License fee paying Rangers supporters can fcuk right-off, although to be fair, they still want to hear from us. Of course, we will hear them hearing from us, on the day they tell all about Leigh Griffith's 'illness' and suggest three former Chairs of Sellik's boys' club being convicted of child rape and molestation in six weeks, might constitute a paedophile ring? Are Rangers top of the league? Gulliver's travels conclude when he is rescued by Captain Pedro de Mendez. Bad news for license fee paying Bears, at PQ he sounds a lot like that h-u-n and typical orange wanker that used to play for Rangers, no need to look any further.

I was in Waitrose in Byers Road this morning and perused today's newspapers. I note the front page of the National is dominated by a story concerning Catalan officials beginning a hunger strike. This is in protest at the way they are being treated by Spanish officials. As a matter of principle, we know our separated brethren are supporters of subjugated peoples; particularly when embarking upon hunger strikes. In this regard, it is most important that the several trillion Bhoys intending to travel to Valencia, remember to pack their Catalan flags.

Apologies Admin', meant to post this in General Football, please move.

The last 32 of the Europa Cup draw has seen Valencia paired with ra green'n'grey hooped horrors.

I note growing criticism from opposition supporters, to our proposed re-signing of Steve Davis. The Yahoos are anxious to point out, specifically he has not started a Premiership game this season, and generally re-signings do not work. I suspect they are ignoring the impact and penetration provided when they re-signed Jim Torbet?

Consider Rangers position at this time last season? I was both surprised and delighted that we negotiated four Euro qualifiers, and competed in our Europa League without embarrassment. We won two of the head to heads, 3-2 against Rapid and scoring two away goals against Villarreal. I think we would have triumphed over Moscow too, if the goal by Morelos had stood(it was clearly on side) and we would have gone 4-2 ahead? Anyways, I am comforted by the monies accrued from our involvement. We have improved, and hopefully we can confirm that improvement by maintaining a title challenge.

I think we would all benefit from a time line with Leigh Griffiths? A couple of months past, A4 posters appeared inside various Turf Accountants in East Lothian. A photograph of Leigh Griffiths was front and centre on those posters, and a strap line underneath appealed that no bet should be accepted. In between, the rumour mill has ground on and on. Take your pick? In the last hour, Police Scotland have confirmed that they had actively searched for Leigh Griffiths earlier this week. The search was for a missing person, requested by family and friends. Long term observers of ra Sellik will immediately suspect the club are running interference on what occurred in those several weeks in between, and I suspect they are correct. Meantime, let's pray for Leigh.

I have just experienced a long weekend on coastal Ayrshire and as such missed most of the PQ output. One thing raised the ears on Saturday afternoon, one of the items proposed for discussion on 'Off the Ball' was lost and found. Thus, objectivity, balance, impartiality, fairness, .............. etc were NOT up for discussion. However, DrStu' drops an example of lost and found into the conversation which I found quite bizarre? He told of Chris McLauchlin being at his home during the week, doing some filming. Apparently, he left a scarf and it has been returned. Now, considering McLaughlin has NEVER appeared on their show, 23 years of refusal. Why is DrStu' facilitating the Scrote at his home? It's cringe worthy, a man in his sixty-seventh year wanting desperately(self advertising) to be seen licking the sweat off the arse of the recently twice promoted, McLaughlin. Truly, a Toadie flashing his credentials of fawning flattery. Why would Scrote be filming in Dennistoun?

I wonder if Cosgrove and Cowan will re-launch their, 'Stop the Shop, Stop Bigotry' campaign? Seventeen/eighteen years past, they brought a St Mirren supporter(I think it was Pie and Bovril heid honcho, Div McDonald) into the Beeb studios to rile and rage against Rangers opening a pop-up store in Paisley, for Christmas. It was opening for six weeks and provided local undergrad' with seasonal work. Of course, Rangers being eternal perpetrators of hate crimes, it was to be opposed and the national megaphone utilised to do so. The second half of the show had an idea whereby each caller/contributor was given a notional brick and a message card attached. The competition was for the wittiest two or three lines articulating objection to the shop. On being asked about notional bricks, they were quite clear they did not want listeners to take ideas from the recent Guy Fawkes night activities. It happened, the windows were bricked on the store a young undergrad dressing the mannequins in the store window was covered in broken glass. A visit to A and E ensued, for lacerations. Cosgrove and Cowan have never mentioned the Rangers store since.

Also, Jimmy Millar's last game for Rangers.

Two days after the event. Listening to McInnes after the Betfred cup final, he banged on about going man to man all round the field against ra Sellik. He did the same against us on Wednesday. It works until one of our men gets past an Aberdeen player, then opportunities are available. Twice, the first half, I remember Middleton standing up the full back and getting past. Of course, in the second we drew Middleton deeper. We passed all around the Dons, they ran along side mostly, not committing to the tackle, showing us avenues that culminated in dead ends. I doubt if both Goldson and McAuley will ever see so much of the ball again? The other thing is tempo. We need a metronome in midfield, someone to dictate the pace we play. I think Arfield does that in part. It would be easy to point the finger at a few players who abdicated responsibility, but I don't think it would help. The likes of McCrorie's combative qualities should not be dismissed, he was part of a most successful midfield against Aberdeen last season. Maybe Ryan Kent's trickery was missed too? We must recognise two games against the Dons and possibly two/three opportunities created and none taken. We are the top scorers in the SPFL and our only goal against the Dandies has been from a penalty. The narrative will become McInnes out thinks Gerrard. If Steve Davis is available in January, he would solve a few of the problems noted above, particularly tempo.

It's a symbiotic thing. You must have seen that photograph? You know, the one where the Hippo stands there chewing the vegetation and perched on it's back is a bird the size of a song thrush. The free rider is an Oxpecker, it uses the Hippo for both protection from predators and as a source of food. As it traverses the Hippo's body, it sticks it's curved beak into skin crevices and eats the burrowing insects and grubs. The Hippo is most content to allow the Oxpecker free reign, it's a reciprocating beneficial relationship for both parties ie 'symbiotic'. I witnessed the above myself. My professional life saw me visit Kenya for eight weeks, and down time allowed for a few Safaris. Watching that Oxpecker's agility is quite something, hanging off the Hippo's tail, swinging that beak into the areas surrounding the butt-hole. It's an avaricious little bugger, getting stuck into the hardening shit for more and more worms and beetles. I wondered then, why does no one publish that photograph? We are capable of understanding the principle of symbiosis, but the visual reinforcement must remain within romantic parameters. PQ's A-Team pitched up at Hampden on Sunday afternoon for the main event, the Betfred cup final. There was collective dyspepsia from the starter course, the boys in maroon had been fcuked over by the perpetrators of hate crime, Rangers. The post match grievance so well articulated by Craig Levein, Allan Preston, Michael Stewart, et al(no sour grapes) had sweetened the after taste somewhat; however, "the H-u-ns and typical orange bastards" were top of the league. A serious digestive was required. A warm bonhomie was soon evident. The Dandies lined up with Big Dick, Liam McLeod, and Wullie Miller. Jim Leighton was recorded too, offering support to Aberdeen, warning of the mental fortitude needed to compete in Glasgow. Ra Sellik rawked up with Eire Force One and Two, Pat Bonner and Tom English charmed with mawkish patronisation and applicable condescension. The airwaves dripped with respect, this was another final meeting between Scotland's two most successful clubs these last five years. The culmination of the final had both halves of the PQ A-Team sharing the plaudits, wasn't match winner, Ryan Christie honed to green'n'grey perfection at Pittodrie? Jonny Hayes and Gary McKay-Steven's crossover was cause for celebration too. Packie lamented Adam Rooney's lack of pace, "another yard quicker and he would have been an Irish international regular". Big Dick proclaimed him as, "Salford's finest". Tom admired Aberdeen's organisation and commitment. Both managers were constantly referred to as Brendan and Derek. Mutual masturbation all round. Seriously, it was hard to differentiate between the sweating, defecating, farting Hippo and the shit chewing, weevil eating Oxpecker ?

The Cry was No Defenders. The nameless, faceless PQ Producers have a responsibility. Of course, they have responsibilities, each show has both presentation and content. Thus, Presenters, contributors, social media platforms, .... etc on one side; and technical staff, IT staff, engineers, business and commercial management too. The real responsibility is, 'Balance'. Ensure both sides of a discussion are aired and allow the listener to make up their own minds. The aforementioned phrase, 'on one side' is important because as license fee paying Rangers supporters, we know with PQ Producers, we are very much, 'the other side'. The Presenters and contributors are on message and are allowed free reign to get as comfortable as can be with their preferred prejudice. There is an ongoing process of cleansing, it is reckoned Kenny McIntyre is the last remaining football relating staffer? There are some like DrStu'(resident Witch Finder General) who find that position too galling, he has spent five weeks painting a target on the poor guy's back. I saw a list of three dozen names, all regular Presenters and contributors and other than McIntyre, two names are up for contention for Rangers leanings. Billy Dodds has enough trouble towing his EBT, but he went public a decade past in a Sunday broadsheet, he no longer considers himself to be a Rangers supporter. In fact, most Bears would argue that Billy is a mainstay of BBC Scotland's football output because of that published statement? Chic Young, despite his long and weary protestations of St Boo allegiances; is such a necessary prop of thirty satirical piss-taking years, no one takes him seriously. No, balance left PQ at the same time as satire. What would all those satirical shows make of Chris McLaughlin? What would be their take on a series of Justice Ministers sitting in the North Stand at Sellik Park? Anyone for 'Four Men in a Boat' on the Panama Canal, they could manufacture a sail from Dermot's papers. The PQ Producers must be seen/heard to be going through the motions; thus, we want to hear from Rangers supporters, the odd, very odd VoxPop with Bears passing PQ on their way to Ibrox, and a few occasional(Producer written) e-mails/texts read out on air, is more than enough to satisfy demands of balance. The reality for license fee paying Rangers supporters was Sunday's noon kick-off at Tynecastle. Big Dick(Dandy) introduces from Hampden, asks questions of commentator at Tynie of Paul Mitchell(Jambo), interacts with co-commentators, Allan Preston(Jambo) and Billy(I no longer consider myself to be a Rangers supporter)Dodds, then goes pitch side to Brian McLaughlin(Hibby). It's predictable, Hearts start well, score first, and everybody connected to PQ, is happy. Rangers equalise, then go ahead before half-time, and the air waves darken. Allan Preston is critical of the Ref', the Linesman, and Morelos. Big Dick reinforces those thoughts, and Billy Dodds contributes, "it's a cracking game". At this point, let's congratulate Allan Preston for his monthly standing order to the Foundation of Hearts. Allan is also a licensed football Agent. I am positive he would never publicly talk down a player not on his books to favour one on his books, and vice-versa. We call that a balanced approach, and I am sure the PQ Producer has a wee reminding word in his ear every now and again? It's important to retain balance. The second half sees a red card challenge from Arfield on the Hearts Keeper, Rangers not taking numerous opportunities to notch a third, and a ten man Rangers comfortably hold off Hearts for twenty-five minutes. Preston's frustrations boil over, he loses balance and obviously reminded of the danger, offers, "this is not sour grapes". Encouraged, Billy goes further, "none of this detracts away from Rangers performance". Big Dick, remember he is at Hampden; wades in, calls Arfield's challenge, 'shocking, disgraceful, and outrageous' in turn. Reminds the audience of Rangers seven red cards this season, "obviously, there's problem". Both the Ref' and Linesman get it in the neck again. Now, a Rangers supporter might mention that the Ref' and his officials are the same for both sides, why no yellow cards shown to Hearts players? Further, why was Clare's shocking, disgraceful, and outrageous flat booted, studs showing, assault on Coulibaly's upper thigh not a red card? Even further again, why did Paul Mitchell, Allan Preston, Billy Dodds, Brian McLaughlin, and Big Dick deliberately NOT MENTION this challenge at any point during the broadcast? See how balance can be awkward and inconvenient! Finally, Craig Levein's post match outburst to Brian McLaughlin was well received at PQ, they would have called it, 'balanced'. He knew what he was doing, he did the very same as Dundee United manager, at Ibrox ten years past. He was flanked by his then club Chairman, Eddie Thompson. After a 3-1 defeat, he proclaimed, "we were never going to be allowed to win that game". Craig always sounds balanced when he is pushing at an open door. More PQ balance to ensue, when the Dandies visit Ibrox tomorrow evening.

I suspect Hearts will target our left side, both Halliday and Grezda have to be on it defensively. We must stop the majority of crosses coming into our box. I am happy McAuley is back in the centre defence, lots of high balls will be pumped forward, particularly in the first thirty minutes.