26th of foot

It would be a good idea if the club donated all funds raised to WaterAid UK.

Dell is a Bean Counter. All his beans are fair trade and his counter(abacus) is constructed from wood sourced from sustainable forests.

I encourage Dell to 'raise it' in the womens toilets.

Retaining one's calm at ra Stade de Gadd demands a bit of the Flight of the Bumblebee. Rimsky-Korsakov Loyal RSC.

I note Police Scotland have taken half-a-dozen statements reference possible "assault". Detective Chief Inspector Jim Taggart has already been quoted, "theres been a soaking, a dead bad soaking".

Rousseau, Is the above an original Jackson Pollock or one of your own finger painted creations?

The Bunnet bought ra Sellik for £10 million. He arrived with a five year plan, including redevelopment of ra Stade de Gadd. He organised three share issues to raise the necessary funds. At the end of the five years another share issue(preferential shares) was issued. This raised enough dosh for Fergus to walk away from Scottish football with £30-odd million in his hip pocket. Half way through David Murray's twenty year tenure, it was obvious Rangers needed a similar transition. We are still waiting.

Calm down, calm down! Coming to ya on a dusty road, Hope, I've got a truck load. I have have been monitoring my MyGers Account this morning and note currently, I am only five points short of being appointed the next Rangers Gaffer. Attending the Rangers Ladies fixture against Hearts on Sunday should trigger immense feelings of well being.

Buckling our Swash. It is official, Rangers have appointed an interim management team of Barry Ferguson, Allan McGregor, Billy Dodds and, Neil McCann. The successors to Phil and Co have three months to steer the good ship, Rangers into calmer waters. The first question is, whose hand is on the tiller? I suspect Barry's experiences of taking the helms at Kelty, Clyde and, Alloa will see him donning the Gaffer's hat? The others will take an oar, all staining for most necessary purchase. I find the appointments to be largely underwhelming but, I admire the displayed battle speed in ramming the rotten hulk, Pacific Quay. BBC Scotland has failed to repel boarders as we have captured two of their broadcasting regulars. I loved Neil McCann as a player and we should remember he and his family suffered horrific levels of abuse and intimidation after signing. The Billy Dodds addition is strange, this is a character who went out of his way to scream, "I no longer consider myself to be a Rangers supporter" in an attempt to reposition himself when seeking a regular gig in Sunday broadsheet journalism. A successful Jolly Roger flagged raid will have repercussions. There will be a rush inside PQ to label, 'the EBT Four' and ensure this three month adventure is effectively viewed as a walk the plank exercise. RAB Cosgrove will wield the trident ensuring a boiling briney of ridicule : Why did Rangers overlook Neil Lennon again? Greegsy will walk away again the way he walked away from Scotland. Barry is thick, cue the Pageone jokes and Barry thinks a low block is Lego. The staunchometer is hitting fully segged brown brogue levels. Season tickets are about to go on sale. The 49ers are ensuring Sevco liquidation. We will be keel hauled around the roaring forties.

"Super Catholic" - sounds like a Marvel Hero. I have the mental imagery of Cardinal O'Brien, remember he was Cardinal for all Scots. A Hero figure should have a cape and Cardinal Keith sported a crimson example. Or, maybe Jum Spence in a Peruvian Poof Cape is a better fit?

It is official. Chris McLaughlin has just appeared on BBC Scotland's lunchtime news, standing on his preferred Hinshelwood grassy knoll. The main stand is over his shoulder and the eyes are twitching, straining for expected snipers when he uttered, "there exists a broad agreement among all parties". I was expecting him to burst into a chorus of, 'I left my heart in ................. Papworth General'. Speculation will mount, Chris has(had) a heart?

I think I have mentioned this before? The Sultans of Oman are absolute monarchs, best described as benevolent despots. During 1988, the incumbent was Qaboos bin Said and he was particularly benevolent. After attending Sandhurst in the early 60s, he served for three years in Lanarkshire's regiment, the Cameronians. In the late 70s, he financed the construction of the Royal Military Academy's olympic sized swimming pool. When you enter the building you are reminded of his benevolence by the life sized oil portrait of the Sultan replete in Cameronian number one dress. The border between Oman and Yeman remains largely undefined. These last sixty years, the Sultans have been conducting a Hearts and Minds exercise based on both education and health. Concurrently, well financed paramilitaries within Yemen have been conducting an insurgency of low intensity to run interference on schools and clinics. The Sultan's counter is a grouping of controlled patrols protecting said centres and the necessary supply lines. He prefers the Company and Battalion designations to be commanded by British officers. Thus, in August'88 I was leading a patrol company on a ten day visitation to villages and hamlets. The purpose was to ensure a couple of Kiwi nurses achieved access to conduct vaccinations and well women clinics(effects of female circumcision - don't ask). On the fifth evening we left a village and headed several klicks to a wadi with the intent to establish an overnight patrol harbour. I knew Rangers had played ra Yahoos that afternoon at Ibrox but, had maintained professional discipline. After stand-to I returned to my basher and asked my signals Sgt to rig a whip antennae knowing I was being unprofessional. It was silent hours and I tuned to the BBC World Service for the wonderful Paddy Feeny's football roundup. The desert revealed a starry, starry night and I listened as Paddy enthusiastically narrated, "all the action from the game of today at Ibrox". The ensuing five minutes were torture as Paddy played a sequence of 15-20 second commentary sections. He began with, "we were treated to a six goal thriller" and promptly followed with the commentary of McAvennie notching the first goal. I thought we have lost six nil. The next two commentary clips revealed we had secured a 2-1 half time lead. The descrition of Ray Wilkins 25 yard volley had me screaming, SILENTLY! When we scored our third, my thought was it will finish 3-3. When Mark Walters ran the fifth, I was in the Derry, the East Enclosure, the District Bar, ................ doing the bouncy whilst silently screaming. It will always remain the warmest of memories given the circumstances, even a cold scoff of tinned pilchards did not diminish my cheerfulness at cuffing ra Yahoos 5-1. It was another month and a return to Muscat before I saw video highlights.

I attended yesterday and also attended Berwick Rangers in January'67; however, neither makest it into my worst Rangers watching experience. My choice is the quarter-final Anglo-Scottish Cup second leg away to Chesterfield in October'80. It was the death of a side that had secured the ECWC, three League championships, two trebles and, four-five other trophies. The season before, Rangers had eliminated Juventus and PSV from the European Cup. We went out at the quarter-final stage by an odd goal against a very good Cologne side. Nottingham Forrest Gaffer, Brian Clough thanked Rangers for completing the hard yards that allowed his side to secure the cup with the big ears. I had been on a week long exercise in Exmoor, the EndEx' was the morning of the game and the post exercise admin' culminated at around two in the afternoon. You are in your own time now had been bellowed and I jumped into the car for a four hour drive to a sodden Derbyshire. I got in, stood on an open terrace, got well and truly drookit and watched the McCloy, Jardine, DJ, Doddie, Tam McLean, ..... etc take the field. We got skelped by an English third tier club, three-zip. Further, DJ had a penalty saved too. Chesterfield remains my most miserable experience.

My old man took me to Shieldhall Park in January'67. I was a ten year old Primary schoolboy and watched as Sammy Reid scored Berwick's winner. Dad decided we should go to the Berwick cinema that evening, we viewed the Blue Max starring George Peppard and James Mason. Genuinely, I do not remember much of the film other than Peppard flying his aircraft into the ground at the end. My mind was elsewhere. Today at Ibrox, I viewed Bear Force One being flown into the ground. Well done Queen's Park - anyone got a copy of the Blue Max I could watch?

Reference Scott7's memory above, I can recall Queens Park visiting Ibrox for a Glasgow Cup semi-final in 1968-69ish. An attendance of several thousand would have been optimistic but, Rangers announced Colin Stein would be playing after serving his month long suspension. In those days, players were suspended for a tme period not a number of games. The Chair of the SFA Disciplinary Committee was Sir Robert Kelly and he was a vindictive auld cnut. I believe Sir Boab continues to suck cocks in hell? Anyways, Colin, Colin Stein ran out the tunnel in front of 12,000 and expectation was a hat-trick at least. The game ended in a three-zip Rangers victory; however, Colin failed to notch. Goalkeeper, Gerry Neef got injured midway through the first period and since none of the two listed substitutes on the bench were Keepers, Colin Stein took both jersey and gloves for the rest of the game.