26th of foot

Here, in deepest darkest Lanarkshire, Lanliq was correctly regarded as tonic wine with considerable medicinal properties. We travelled down to Manchester aboard the Strathclyde Uni Union self drive mini-bus. The case of Lanny on the charabanc had been placed there by a Pharmacist and all present had the necessary prescription. Old Trafford has changed on numerous occasion this last half century, it used to have a white picket line wooden fence that ran around the track. We stood in the Enclosure behind the picket next to the Stretford, many other Rangers supporters appeared most anxious to gain access to said terrace, probably to experience a better view of the game? It was most oft' referred to as, 'a bottle party'.

I attended the Manchester United - Rangers challenge match at Old Trafford in March 1974. We opened the scoring, I think John Greig swept the ball home? A half bottle of Lanliq has the effect of hallucinations on the seventeen year old mind and I mention this because I seem to remember big DJ and Derek Parlane both notched in the second half to see Rangers win 2-3. I will take the same result on Thursday evening. I am positive we can do it if Geigy, Dj and, the King of Ibrox park are fit enough to play.

I attended yesterday's proceedings at Ibrox with no expectation and no hope. Walking to the ground reminded me of my start to my intermediate academic week some fifty-five years past. I began each Monday morning with triple Latin, a double period after Assembly was followed by morning break then another forty minutes of 'o me miserum'. My Latin master was Danny Sutherland, a genuine Polyglot, he taught Latin, Greek, Russian and, Arabic. His recreation was utilising other tongues, the four at the end of the Lochgelly extra heavy were particular favourites. Mea culpa, me maxima culpa. Triple Latin was a dread, better to get in and take your punishment knowing you would feel better once it was over. Approaching the Stadium, I was lamenting Noon kick-offs. Normally, it would be over at two thirty and the process of emotional betterment could begin. What transpired was a growing feeling of being able to compete. We dominated, had 24 attempts on goal, scored three and, generally battered the Establishment club. I was transported back to the early seventies when we sang, 'who put the ball in the Sellik net, Alfie, Alfie'; securing a last minute Ne'erday victory. I was elated. Last minute singing should have been the thing but that element within our support had other ideas. Throwing coins at the £11 million Belgian fud as he prepared to take a corner was a considered better idea. Striking Arnie on the cheek bone deflects, it changes the post match narrative and, allows the Yahoos something to hang on to. Since the League Cup final, the usual suspects have queued up to tell us, "you have nothing". Latin for nothing is 'nihil' and like most Latin words it can be extrapolated to greater significance - 'the absence of anything'. Why do they persist with unconsidered actions that detract from the greater Rangers joy? If they want to dispose of ten quid, then deposit the coins in a bucket and help our well skint club. I implore the club to identify and deal with the culprits in draconian fashion. Then, we can remind Peter of his stated intension of 24 years past to indentify and deal with the Yahoo that struck Fernando Ricksen on the head with a lighter.

Festive felicitations to all Gersnetters. Hoping you receive lots of pudding and pie.

If you knew Susie ................ oh what a girl? Ho, ho, ho; tis the season to be jolly and on Saturday last, the national broadcaster was in perpetual mirth making mode. Off the Ball gave us Susie McCabe again and, the Rangers obsessive donned her angry clown face and went for the full Pennywise frenzy. Equivalency is never to be acknowledged. In this regard, Susie rocks an arrogance and BBC Scotland both encourages and facilitates her ridiculous swagger. The other guest was STV newsreader, John MacKay who was plugging his new tome. John is a Bluenose and Susie was ready to feast. The hosts, Tam Cowan and Ray Bradshaw asked both guests their thoughts on the next day's game, the League Cup final? MacKay began reasonably and rationally, wondering if two days would be adequate recovery time for John Soutar. He predicted the four days available to Sellik's Alastair Johnson would be beneficial. Susie struck, "we had to endure ten years of financial doping and you cannot wait play the two extra recovery days card". Susie then told us she was born and bred in Glasgow's east end and educated in Coatbridge, again! Further, she is always keen to relate whatever she was talking about to Frankie(Boyle) during the week. Really, Susie is quite important. Next Ray Bradshaw points out whoever wins the cup moves ahead in trophies won status. Susie strikes immediately, "Celtic are classy and I hope they don't go with the worlds most successful club thing. Ah mean Real Madrid have won fifteen European Cups, they are the worlds most successful club. Anyways, when were Rangers founded"? Cowan distanced the show from her comments pointing out it was her specific opinion and any complaints should be directed to her. Susie decides on recovery by flashing her nationalistic credentials, "we are different in Scotland, ah loved the way we voted to change the name of that ship, deciding on Boaty McBoatface". Worshipping at Nicola's altar can lead to serious derangement. The vessel was built in Birkenhead for the British Antarctic survey, it was a BBC Radio Jersey DJ that campaigned for and received 125,000 votes from all around the UK. I suppose we are fortunate this time because when she is on again in a fortnight we will be told that it was Susie and her fellow happy hoopsters that pierced the pomposity. I am sure she was saying it to Frankie during the week. Maybe Susie is confusing the vessel with the two Ferries built at Fergusons, you know the ones taking Scottish marine architecture to new limits? What other country has pioneered cardboard funnels and painted on windows? The MV Glen Rosa should be renamed as a homage to the Dennistoun clown, 'Susie McGloatface' would be most appropriate. These last ten weeks with RAB Cosgrove taking a sabbatical, Susie has co=presented the show, she has done so at least a couple of dozen occasions. On Saturday, she was a guest. Is the former a separate entity to the latter, we should be told. Oh, what a girl .....

Compo, I loved that game, I stood in the schoolboy Enclosure and watched Bud Johnson hit the bye-line and stand up that ball for DJ. I love the photograph because DJ is framed by four Sellik players, Bobby Murdoch, Billy McBungle, Jim Craig and, Davie Hay. Further, remember Evan Williams is in front(this side of the camera) of DJ. We had gone five seasons winning hee-haw from the Scottish Cup Final replay win in 1966 to DJ's nod to glory. It was the first light at the end of a most dark tunnel.

I attended the pre-season friendly at Ibrox against Spurs at the start of August'69. A large crowd watched an impressive Tottenham side including Pat Jennings, Cyril Knowles, Martin Chivers, Jimmy Greaves, Mike England, Alan Gilzean, Joe Kinnear, Alan Mullery and, Terry Venables. Rangers dominated the game and won 2-0, I believe Bud Johnson scored both? A week later, Everton were the visitors and the Toffees had a wonderful side. Joe Royle, Brian Labone, Howard Kendall, Alan Ball and, Colin Harvey. We won 2-1. David White put out entertaining Rangers teams. Reference the Great Revolution and all that goes with it. My Butler informs me we are all for it as long as I am appointed the GOC(General Officer Commanding) of the Vanguard of the Proletariat.

Rangers Ultras are the Daddies and will prove so to the guid folks fae the Broch. Looking at the accompanying photo', there is considerable opportunity to do serious damage to any sand castles. We have previous in Stonehaven, the Broch's PC Murdoch should be warned.

Peterhead - is that a thing? Or, is it Lawwell's username on Grinder?

If we are going to be allowed to bring back right backs, I would prefer William, Billy, Sandy Jardine. Come to think of it, with the cup final against the separated brethren just around the corner, let's bring back King Kai.

I think the club's Lawyers need to remind Nick Clark of the terms of his contract. The mighty Rangers absolutely battered the Perth Predators, suppressed the venomous threat of the Super Soaraway Saintees and, courageously took a stand against the Tractor Tyrants. We carried the standard of Scottish football. Jason Holt took cognisance of his contract and delivered a wonderful volley into the roof of the net. Surely it is not too much to ask that Nicky Clark as a fellow fellow former Bear does likewise for a more comfortable victory. I t is a sad day for Scottish football when we can not rely on former players to do the necessary.

Today, I am intent upon supporting the Rangers. Well, until the first glaring miss, failure to play the obvious ball, failure to make appropriate substitutions, not having a dig when it is obviously on, a missed tackle, going long when the wide ball is begging to be played, losing the toss, winning the toss and choosing the wrong end, announcing the wrong starting line up, ......................... We'll support you evermore Loyal RSC.

"Woeful, absolutely woeful defending by Nice". At half time last evening, the score was Nice 0 Rangers 3. Immediately, I switched over to BBC Radio Scotland and host in the PQ studio, Big Dick Gordon took over from commentator, Al Lamont and began, "woeful, absolutely woeful defending by Nice". To reinforce his comment, he chuckled. When Rangers are defeated by Aberdeen, Killie or, whoever the PQ Gang Hut are always anxious to credit the victors. Quite correctly, Rangers problems are given less emphasis, all kudos should be awarded to the celebrating side. However, when Rangers(a Scottish club) achieve another notable result in Euro competition, the Euro team's failings are long discussed. Remember, BBC Scotland supports all Scottish sides in Europe. Rangers appear to be most fortunate in Europe, we always face poor sides. I guess it is a phenomenon coined by the Scotsman's Glenn Gibbons back in the day, "the Rangers bounce". Glenn was a big Sellik man, beloved and regularly lionised by Graham Spiers. "The Rangers bounce" was his comfort blanket. Let's all do the Bouncy.

I hope he has brought the dilithium crystals with him.

Rousseau is a Morningside chap. His Butler insists he breakfasts in, 'the Canny Man'. I suspect the insistence is based upon the Canny Man's surf and turf Bloody Mary? The celery stalk is adorned with a Carabinero prawn and an air dried slice of crisped Bayonne ham. As our Morningside Super-Mod' we should chip-in to provide Rousseau with a Vespa/Lambretta; whatever his Butler prefers.