26th of foot

If you knew Susie ................ oh what a girl? Ho, ho, ho; tis the season to be jolly and on Saturday last, the national broadcaster was in perpetual mirth making mode. Off the Ball gave us Susie McCabe again and, the Rangers obsessive donned her angry clown face and went for the full Pennywise frenzy. Equivalency is never to be acknowledged. In this regard, Susie rocks an arrogance and BBC Scotland both encourages and facilitates her ridiculous swagger. The other guest was STV newsreader, John MacKay who was plugging his new tome. John is a Bluenose and Susie was ready to feast. The hosts, Tam Cowan and Ray Bradshaw asked both guests their thoughts on the next day's game, the League Cup final? MacKay began reasonably and rationally, wondering if two days would be adequate recovery time for John Soutar. He predicted the four days available to Sellik's Alastair Johnson would be beneficial. Susie struck, "we had to endure ten years of financial doping and you cannot wait play the two extra recovery days card". Susie then told us she was born and bred in Glasgow's east end and educated in Coatbridge, again! Further, she is always keen to relate whatever she was talking about to Frankie(Boyle) during the week. Really, Susie is quite important. Next Ray Bradshaw points out whoever wins the cup moves ahead in trophies won status. Susie strikes immediately, "Celtic are classy and I hope they don't go with the worlds most successful club thing. Ah mean Real Madrid have won fifteen European Cups, they are the worlds most successful club. Anyways, when were Rangers founded"? Cowan distanced the show from her comments pointing out it was her specific opinion and any complaints should be directed to her. Susie decides on recovery by flashing her nationalistic credentials, "we are different in Scotland, ah loved the way we voted to change the name of that ship, deciding on Boaty McBoatface". Worshipping at Nicola's altar can lead to serious derangement. The vessel was built in Birkenhead for the British Antarctic survey, it was a BBC Radio Jersey DJ that campaigned for and received 125,000 votes from all around the UK. I suppose we are fortunate this time because when she is on again in a fortnight we will be told that it was Susie and her fellow happy hoopsters that pierced the pomposity. I am sure she was saying it to Frankie during the week. Maybe Susie is confusing the vessel with the two Ferries built at Fergusons, you know the ones taking Scottish marine architecture to new limits? What other country has pioneered cardboard funnels and painted on windows? The MV Glen Rosa should be renamed as a homage to the Dennistoun clown, 'Susie McGloatface' would be most appropriate. These last ten weeks with RAB Cosgrove taking a sabbatical, Susie has co=presented the show, she has done so at least a couple of dozen occasions. On Saturday, she was a guest. Is the former a separate entity to the latter, we should be told. Oh, what a girl .....

Compo, I loved that game, I stood in the schoolboy Enclosure and watched Bud Johnson hit the bye-line and stand up that ball for DJ. I love the photograph because DJ is framed by four Sellik players, Bobby Murdoch, Billy McBungle, Jim Craig and, Davie Hay. Further, remember Evan Williams is in front(this side of the camera) of DJ. We had gone five seasons winning hee-haw from the Scottish Cup Final replay win in 1966 to DJ's nod to glory. It was the first light at the end of a most dark tunnel.

I attended the pre-season friendly at Ibrox against Spurs at the start of August'69. A large crowd watched an impressive Tottenham side including Pat Jennings, Cyril Knowles, Martin Chivers, Jimmy Greaves, Mike England, Alan Gilzean, Joe Kinnear, Alan Mullery and, Terry Venables. Rangers dominated the game and won 2-0, I believe Bud Johnson scored both? A week later, Everton were the visitors and the Toffees had a wonderful side. Joe Royle, Brian Labone, Howard Kendall, Alan Ball and, Colin Harvey. We won 2-1. David White put out entertaining Rangers teams. Reference the Great Revolution and all that goes with it. My Butler informs me we are all for it as long as I am appointed the GOC(General Officer Commanding) of the Vanguard of the Proletariat.

Rangers Ultras are the Daddies and will prove so to the guid folks fae the Broch. Looking at the accompanying photo', there is considerable opportunity to do serious damage to any sand castles. We have previous in Stonehaven, the Broch's PC Murdoch should be warned.

Peterhead - is that a thing? Or, is it Lawwell's username on Grinder?

If we are going to be allowed to bring back right backs, I would prefer William, Billy, Sandy Jardine. Come to think of it, with the cup final against the separated brethren just around the corner, let's bring back King Kai.

I think the club's Lawyers need to remind Nick Clark of the terms of his contract. The mighty Rangers absolutely battered the Perth Predators, suppressed the venomous threat of the Super Soaraway Saintees and, courageously took a stand against the Tractor Tyrants. We carried the standard of Scottish football. Jason Holt took cognisance of his contract and delivered a wonderful volley into the roof of the net. Surely it is not too much to ask that Nicky Clark as a fellow fellow former Bear does likewise for a more comfortable victory. I t is a sad day for Scottish football when we can not rely on former players to do the necessary.

Today, I am intent upon supporting the Rangers. Well, until the first glaring miss, failure to play the obvious ball, failure to make appropriate substitutions, not having a dig when it is obviously on, a missed tackle, going long when the wide ball is begging to be played, losing the toss, winning the toss and choosing the wrong end, announcing the wrong starting line up, ......................... We'll support you evermore Loyal RSC.

"Woeful, absolutely woeful defending by Nice". At half time last evening, the score was Nice 0 Rangers 3. Immediately, I switched over to BBC Radio Scotland and host in the PQ studio, Big Dick Gordon took over from commentator, Al Lamont and began, "woeful, absolutely woeful defending by Nice". To reinforce his comment, he chuckled. When Rangers are defeated by Aberdeen, Killie or, whoever the PQ Gang Hut are always anxious to credit the victors. Quite correctly, Rangers problems are given less emphasis, all kudos should be awarded to the celebrating side. However, when Rangers(a Scottish club) achieve another notable result in Euro competition, the Euro team's failings are long discussed. Remember, BBC Scotland supports all Scottish sides in Europe. Rangers appear to be most fortunate in Europe, we always face poor sides. I guess it is a phenomenon coined by the Scotsman's Glenn Gibbons back in the day, "the Rangers bounce". Glenn was a big Sellik man, beloved and regularly lionised by Graham Spiers. "The Rangers bounce" was his comfort blanket. Let's all do the Bouncy.

I hope he has brought the dilithium crystals with him.

Rousseau is a Morningside chap. His Butler insists he breakfasts in, 'the Canny Man'. I suspect the insistence is based upon the Canny Man's surf and turf Bloody Mary? The celery stalk is adorned with a Carabinero prawn and an air dried slice of crisped Bayonne ham. As our Morningside Super-Mod' we should chip-in to provide Rousseau with a Vespa/Lambretta; whatever his Butler prefers.

The guy looks well. Considering I saw he and his band at the Apollo fifty years past. He was more energetic than his music, whilst continuing to strum he completed several somersaults from a trampette situated on stage. I think he has been a sideman to His Bruceness these last forty years? Obviously, he will have to fit his technical duties around the E-Street Band's touring schedule.

Remembrance. A week has passed and hopefully the over wrought emotions have cooled? As someone with seventeen years service and a Rangers supporter, the club have been on a ridiculous journey reference Remembrance these last dozen years. The act of Remembrance should be moments of poignancy conducted with appropriate solemnity. Rangers under the auspices of Craig Whyte, Charles Green, the Easdales, ............. etc travelled a jingoistic road : Bootnecks abseiling from the Sandy Jardine roof with the match ball. A track side stage prop howitzer booming both beginning and end of the minute's silence. Serving Gunners utilising a 105 mm field gun to signal the beginning and end of the minute's silence. Serving members of all three services in uniform circumnavigating the pitch at half-time. I feel last Sunday's game against Hearts was the start of a more appropriate journey. The Jambos have their own relevant history with the McCrae's Battalion story, a true pals' battalion volunteering for service in World War One trenches. Ibrox fell silent as a black and white photograph banner was unfurled with the red poppy petals drifting across on the breeze. The fifty-three year old photograph had poignance, it depicted members of the City of Glasgow and Ayrshire Regiment, the Royal Highland Fusiliers alighting from an aircraft. In fact, they were the burial details for three comrades summarily executed in Northern Ireland. As Rangers return to solemnity, the national broadcaster took another dozen steps towards the Ministry for Truth. Sunday evening's Rangers-Hearts Sportscene highlights began with footage of the Ibrox Remembrance with BBC Scotland commentator, Liam McLeod stated, "Ibrox falls silent as it did at every football ground in Scotland". The BBC Scotland website carried a Killie-Sellik match report penned by "good Celtic man"(courtesy of Annie McGuire), Martin Dowden. Derek McInnes gave a post match interview where his criticism of Sellik favourable refereeing decisions was emphasised by, "Celtic even decide when the minute's silence stops. It was awful, Why? It is our ground, our minute's silence". Martin Dowden's Ministry of Truth multi-paragraphed report ignored pre-kick-off happenings and fail failed to include the Killie Gaffer's incisive post match comments. BBC Scotland reserved comments until their evening news the following evening. The Gang Hut's Sports News Correspondent, Chris McLaughlin took ninety seconds to put both sides of the story, quoting twice from the Green Brigades issued statement. Chris offered no conclusion other than opining why Sellik have to suffer embarrassment every year. Peter would have it no other way.

Certainly, we have had to endure more than our fair share of Hairy Patter merchants.

SteveCo Talks Sevco! The PQ Gang Hut began to assemble the firing squad a month past. After Rangers defeats at both Pittodrie and Rugby Park, the firing squad were ordered to load, make ready and fire. Obviously, the target was Rangers Gaffer, Philippe Clement and the national broadcaster justified their actions by citing Rangers supporters demands. The Belgian remains bound to the post but continues to breathe. The club Board have so far failed to deliver the inevitable for probably three reasons : 1. Clement has taken the club to their third successive national cup final. 2. Clement has guided the club to successive promising performances in the Europa League. 3. Clement achieved the provided brief ie moved players on, cut the wage bill substantially and, was rewarded with an improved contract. Impatience within the PQ Gang Hut is being tempered by concurrent activity. Anticipation levels are rising as the saliva runs down the chops of ra Sellik state of mind collective. Right across the national broadcaster's outlets - Sportsound, Sportscene, the View from the Terrace, Off the Ball, ........ etc; they have all sniggered whilst warning of an upcoming humiliation for Rangers in the League Cup final against Sellik. Rangers are funny and getting funnier reinforced by Craig Fowler's coup de main, "Rangers are hilarious". The laughing stocks are our confinement and the Gang Hut both encourages and rewards the continuous pelting of rotten fruit. Constant exposure is guaranteed if you chorus the issued narrative. Rangers supporters are stupid for accepting the situation and deserve ridicule. Providing regular supposed imagery is supplied because marginalisation makes it easier to hate. Step up to the microphone former Chair of Dundee United, Stephen Thompson. On Saturday, Tam Cowan introduced Uncle Fester and told us he would present an insight into the events of 2012. Ray Bradshaw wondered aloud as to why Stephen was blamed for Rangers demise? The chortle fest ran for two hours : Stephen told of his 'successful' ten year tenure at the Tayside club where integrity was the guiding force. Stephen told of being persuaded by his club's supporters to condemn Rangers to the fourth tier. Apparently they refused to purchase season tickets unless Dundee United voted us out. Stephen sided with sporting integrity. Stephen reminded us he served for five years on the SPL management Committee. Stephen wanted to ensure adherence to sporting integrity. Stephen reminded us he refused to enter the Ibrox Board room at the 2014 Scottish Cup semi-final, preferring to sit with his fellow fans because he felt threatened. Stephen maintained his integrity. Stephen told of a continuing threats and a wariness of west coast accents. He illustrated this by a recent visit to northern England where he was accosted and relieved when his questioner revealed he was a Yahoo, the meeting culminated with fist pumps. The entire bar applauded the displayed integrity. Stephen told of charging Rangers supporters again for a postponed game but not levelling the charge to his own supporters. Their is a real cost to sporting integrity and Rangers fans must pay it. Oh, and Stephen revealed he declared himself bankrupt recently. Now, is Stephen Thompson still Stephen Thompson? He wants to get back into the game and noted Rangers are looking for a Chief Executive. Is he a separate entity? Can Sevco employ SteveCo? Do we need to host a series of Sell Out Saturday events to raise the funds to provide protection to SteveCo? Is there any integrity to be found in these supposed episodes or is it just another PQ Gang Hut sponsored sniggerfest? Of course, PQ omitted the full integrity presentation because the facts are inconvenient to the pushed narrative : Stephen was launched from the family home by his then wife because of constant extramarital affairs. Stephen was hauled into court by one former mistress because he refused to pay maintenance for their child. Stephen was blackmailed by a teenage girl whom he met on a Sugar Daddy website. Stephen employed Jum Spence as his personal PRO. I suggest Stephen forms a double act with another Rangers hating bankrupt, Chris Sutton will bring some integrity to SteveCo and help secure the position of succeeding hosts to RAB Cosgrove and Tam Cowan.