Further on up the Road.
Bobby Bland penned the tune in the mid-fifties, it's been covered by a host of artists since, most notably by old Slow Hand, Eric Clapton. It's a plea for karma to be visited upon a cheating partner, you reap what you sow. Such a cri de coeur is mostly accepted with sympathy because it's a road well traveled. Often the reality is different, the philanderer prospers and it's the hope that becomes a comfort. There is a guaranteed exception, the hope does not kill whilst navigating the road to Suvul. It's yellow bricked leading to sunny uplands, you enter paradise sitting astride a white unicorn.
Let me remind you of the excruciating times some 18 years past. The Herald was Edited by Mark Douglas Home, hubby to the west Belfast Colette. His Assistant Editors were Kevin McKenna(former Editor of ra Sellik View) and Joan McAlpine(recently unelected SNP list candidate for Holyrood). The Chief Football Writer was Spiers, the Literary Editorship resided with Hugh MacDonald, the .................etc. The longest journey begins with the smallest step and this lot were in unison, off to see the Wizard. It took this lot five years to take the Herald daily readership from 115,000 plus to barely 60,000. Further on up the road to Suvul.
Hugh MacDonald had a weekly column in the Saturday supplement, it was all about Sellik and their quest for the UEFA Cup. Hugh told of mid-60s school days attending St Mungos, gathering in the toilets to sing Irish rebel songs on the afternoons of big Euro' nights at Sellik Park. He utilised the column to damn Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch, claiming it did not match up to 'Not Playing for Celtic' by David Bennie. It was all about ra Sellik, it was contagious, if you were not smitten, you were a bigot. As the sun set, Hugh huddled down with Dorothy Spiers and used the ambient light sparkling from those red heels to pen the epitome of the road to Suvul rant.
The quarter-finals were imminent, Hugh penned an open letter to both John McCormick, Controller of BBC Scotland and, Ken McQuarrie, BBC Scotland Head of Programmes. He demanded BBC Scotland, both radio and TV be consumed by ra Sellik. On match days, he wanted breakfast TV coverage of management team and players. Mid morning could show highlights of previous rounds, lunchtime would be for articulating hopes and fears of the support, late afternoon would see/hear the match build up by former players playing pundits. There was a real demand and this should be satisfied screamed Hugh.
Amazingly, Ken McQuarrie replied and his letter was published in the blat's correspondence pages. He pointed out the numerous hours of live coverage from the qualifying rounds already awarded to Sellik and, reminded Hugh of the very real demands of reporting other news. Of course, Ken was savaged and the Yahoos expressed surprise, given Ken was Isle of Mull born and bred? To those of us, the majority not confined to this road being traveled, it was just more of the absolute obsession Yahoos had for all things Yahoo.
It has taken almost two decades but BBC Scotland has never faltered and of last Saturday, Hugh's dream has been part realised. The Breakfast Football Show was broadcast, live from the much deflated Edinburgh Festival. Two hours of football? Well, it's BBC Scotland thus two hours of matters Sellik ensued. Presented by Creepie Connie McLaughlin(sister of Chris) and Kenny Macintyre(the necessary Token) and, colour provided by Tom Anguish and Kheredine Idessane. The special guest was Neil Lennon, Connie and Tom continually referred to him as, "Lennie".
Feeling warm and comfortable, Lennie told of last season's trials. We found out things we did not know, "the two nil loss to Rangers at Celtic Park was because I was forced to field a reserve team". Tom hail hailed such news and felt encouraged to reveal a breaking story, "Rangers have withdrawn their offer of several hundred tickets to the Celtic support, THE CLUB are upset at this development". Of course, Tom fail failed to inform the listenership that THE CLUB would not give Rangers a reciprocal agreement. The most utilised word during the two hours was, "we".
These days, Hugh MacDonald has reaped what he sowed. As a Big Sellik man he is guaranteed regular guest spots on BBC Scotland and he is so further on up the road, he is a permanent talking head on PLZ Soccer. A digital channel Sellik obsessed show hosted by Peter(McGuire)Martin, fellow green'n'grey hooped horrors are Alan Rough, Tam McManus, Alison McConnell and, Tam Cowan(another necessary Token). Give it another five years, the road to Suvul will be a ten lane highway. How else can we expect a hundred gazillion Yahoos to reach their destination?