Return of the War Chest.
A dozen years past, former Sellik player and all round Daftie, Tosh McKinlay took to media waters and found he could swim. I should mention a flotation device was an essential, and Tosh had a preference for the, 'War Chest'. Grabbing on for dear life, Tosh spent three years boasting of unique insider information, promising ra Sellik had a War Chest of gazillions to put an end to Walter Smith's annoying continued good fortune. On both the BBC and Radio Snyde, Producers considered giving Tosh his own show, 'Tosh Talks Pysh', an appreciative audience waited to avail.
Tosh ran out of puff, the War Chest dragged him under and, he was rescued by Sellik TV. Tosh found comfort in an avid ever expanding audience ripe for continuous fantasy. Tosh got in the swim by reverting to type. Those safe, calm waters surrounding ra Stade de Gadd this last decade, have recently become troubled. Of course, drowning Yahoos are a hazard to navigation and flotation devices are needed urgently. Diving in with a War Chest full of War Chests to rescue fellow webbed propulsionists, is the Daily Record's Gabriel McKay.
Today's back page headline(no links) screams : "£60 million Transfer War Chest Granted to new Manager".
Gabriel seamlessly impersonates Tosh, effortlessly talking pysh. He does the Yahoo arithmetic :
Olivier Ntcham will be sold for £5 million.
Kris Ajer is heading to Serie A for £25 million.
Odsonne Edouard is a bargain at £25 million.
Ryan Christie is Premiership bound for £8 million.
Leigh Griffiths(pray for him) will be granted a Free Transfer saving Sellik a £1 million in wages.
If you read the article and I do not recommend it, you can hear the air escaping from Gabriel's lifebelt. He finishes by reminding the readership that Lennon was given £15 million for transfers in the summer and the next manager can expect at least the same again. Before you can utter, 'Howe does that all add up'? Gabriel has another piece with Roger Mitchell, apparently he weighs in? Good, he'll drown and fish have got to eat.